The Test
by Elsa007
Summary: Ark AU: In order to keep peace and population in control on the Ark, Becca wrote a test that all Arkadians must take. It determines the best matches for all young adults to ensure that their spouse be a good fit and their child be beneficial to human kind's future. Everyone expects Clarke and Wells to end up together, but when someone else's name is called, all hell breaks loose.
1. Chapter 1

Parameters of this AU: In order to keep both peace and population in control on the Ark, systems have been set up to test each person for a match that will ensure their child have the best traits genetically and that the family will be a happy one. (Relationship compatibility, love potential, genetics, parental compatibility to ensure happy homes, etc.) This is a normal part of the Ark, meant to ensure the best possible outcomes for the human race as a whole. No one is forced into the relationship chosen for them, but if you do not pick your match, you are not allowed to procreate at all. Octavia was never discovered. Jake was able to fix the problem with the air system and the Ark is just fine.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1**

"Your drawing is coming up." My mother's voice was calming and quiet behind me as she brushed out my golden locks. I didn't know why I loved this so much. I was an adult (in a month anyway) for goodness sake! However there was something so soothing about having someone else play with your hair. "Are you nervous?"

"Not particularly." I responded, picking a speck of lint off my pants."You're not nervous about the process that decides who you'll be spending the rest of your life with!?" She asked, indignantly. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm allowed to say no. If I get matched with someone I don't want to marry, I don't HAVE to marry them! What kind of society do you think this is, mother?" Her fingers began moving through my hair again, slowly, but moving.

"Yes, of course you can refuse, but if you do that, the likelihood of the Council allowing you to have a child is almost zero, Clarke! If you want a child at all you have to marry whomever they draw for you!"

"Mom. Everyone already knows who I'll draw with. It isn't some big secret."

"You can't ever know for sure, sweetie." I sighed. I was bored with this conversation. I did know for sure. I'd be drawn with Wells. We had been dating when we took the test, and yeah, we were currently on a break but he was one of my very best friends! We were completely compatible! Every pre-test we'd ever taken had paired us up. It was expected. Besides. It would be great for his dad's career. My parents were well respected, even liked by some of the middle stations, and right now, that was exactly what Jaha needed. Some of the further stations were evidently getting restless and upset over minute political practices that they didn't understand. It was ridiculous. I'd be paired with Wells. I'd marry Wells. I'd have Wells' child. These were the certainties of my life…they were good things. My child and I would always have enough food, we'd always live on first station, always be well off, I'd have a husband who loved me and my child, and I already knew that he would be a good man, always. So why wasn't I more excited about this?

"Whatever mom. I'm not 18 for another month. And for all we know, my pair won't be drawn for years yet. They may not find anyone on my age bracket. I may have to be rerun through the system for a decade before they find someone who can put up with me. Cougar. I'm telling you." She sighed.

"I've never understood that expression."

"It's an old Earth term. It's when a girl goes for a younger man."

"I'm a month and a half older than your father, does that make me a cougar?" She joked, provoking half a smile from me.

"Yeah mom. Just like that." She grinned as she moved to the kitchen to begin laying out our dinner rations. "Speaking of weddings, have you given any thought to attendants? Wells has that little friend-"

"Mom. Can we not talk about that now?" I thought for a moment about a topic she would like as much as this one that I wouldn't mind talking about do much. "I take my boards next week. If I pass I get to start my residency in your med bay."

"You don't know for sure you'll get assigned my med bay…" She trailed off far too innocently.

"Mom. If there's one thing I know for certain, it's that I'll get your med bay. You pick the assignments and you've been talking about having me as your resident since I chose medical. What are you going to do? Put me in the joke of a bay that's in twelfth station? They don't have any med supplies past bandages and pain killers! That's not practicing medicine."

"You be surprised what you can do with a few bandages and some pain killers. Don't get me started on the triage potentials once you get a knife thrown in." I smirked. My mother, ladies and gentlemen.

"How are the two most beautiful ladies in the sky?"

"I don't know," my mother said without looking up from the food she was preparing. "I can run down the hall to check on Miss LeFoe if you like?" My dad laughed, a gruff, comforting rumble and swept my mom up in his arms, kissing her soundly. See? I had nothing to worry about. The drawing matched my parents, two of the most in love people you could fine. It wasn't some random, genetic lottery, it found you true love. Nothing to worry about. Nothing to worry about.

* * *

[Three Weeks Later]

"Mum!" I ran around our small apartment searching for at least one of my parents. "Dad! Where are you?"

"Clarke?" My mother's head poked out of her bedroom. "What's wrong?"

"Where's daddy? I've got news! I want to tell you both!" I was almost jumping up and down.

"He won't be back until tonight." I frowned.

"Fine. I'll tell him later. I can't hold this in." She was smiling. "You know, don't you?" My heart sank a bit.

"Tell me anyway." She assured me.

"I passed my boards. I'm going to be a doctor." She wrapped my in a hug.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so proud of you!"

"Where's daddy? I thought he had today off."

"He had to go in for Drawing Duty. On the test."

"What?"

"Someone who had been assigned for this week got sick and ended up in my med bay. They needed someone and since your father did it last year and wouldn't need to be trained on reading results and deciding in case of close calls, Jaha asked your father to fill in for a few days so they won't have to delay the ceremony."

"So he may be reading my tests?" I asked, my stomach turning at the thought of my father seeing every part of me splayed out in a spreadsheet.

"No! No of course not!" Jaha said that they were almost finished, he will just be looking over reruns." I nodded, my chest tightening again. I'd already had my future decided for me. I'd marry Wells. If have Wells' child. It was all decided. It would happen. Just like we always knew. So why did I suddenly feel like vomiting?

When my father returned that night he seemed flustered, not at all himself. When I told him I'd passed my medical exams and was going to do a residency in Mom's Bay he half smiled and nodded at me, avoiding eye contact the whole time.

"Dad? Is something wrong?"

"Hmm? No, of course not. I'm just tired. 'Night Clarke." Clarke? Whenever he was proud of me, or excited or the like, he called me Cece. Was he upset I followed in Mom's career path instead of his? That must be it…his door slammed as he barricaded himself inside.

"Mom? What's going on with dad?" She shook her head, her brow furrowed.

"I don't know, sweetie. Must just be tired." She glanced at her bare wrist, not a watch in sight. "And no wonder! It's so late! You've better get to bed soon. Your drawing is next week, I thought maybe we'd go shopping for a new dress tomorrow."

"Mom, I don't need a new dress."

"Darling, we've been saving ration points for this for years! You're going to be a beautiful bride."

"Mom." I protested.

"Right. You don't want to talk about it. Dress shopping tomorrow, sleep tonight."

"Mom! What about dad! What's going on with dad?"

"Good night sweetie." I sighed. Great. Just great.

* * *

"You nervous?" My friend Hayley Fox asked, pinching my arm.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?!" I practically screamed.

"Because it's a perfectly logical question. You turn 18 the day of the drawing. You're the youngest in this age bracket. And unless there are reruns that find a partner, Wells will be the oldest. Isn't he turning 20 this year?"

"And we all know I'm going to be matched with Wells, is that what you're saying?"

"No," She made a face at my lack of social graces in this situation. "I'm just saying IF you end up matched with Wells, he'll want to get married and start a family soon. You won't get to wait a while or anything. You know he's said he wants a child by 21."

"Ridiculous notion." I muttered under my breath. Fox continued, ignoring me as usual.

"Not to mention you two broke up, that could be really awkward." I rolled my eyes.

"We didn't break up because we hate each other or anything. We broke up cause…" I didn't actually have a good reason to share. It was probably in bad taste to say 'we broke up because neither of us are really that attracted to each other on a physical level' right before we get engaged. "He's my best friend, Fox. If we get matched then we'll figure it out from there."

"Well I'm bloody nervous, thanks for asking!" She huffed. "What if they match me with someone ugly? Or from bloody farm station or something!"

"Nice to see you have your priorities in check."

"You know what I mean!"

"Then you don't marry them!"

"But then I can't have a kid!"

"It will all work out Fox. For all you know they'll match you with the love of your life who is also handsome, rich, and has an 8 inch-"

"Clarke!" Fox blushed and I finally found a reason to smile. All this week I'd had constant butterflies in my stomach. The reason I was so upset at people asking me if I was nervous is because, well, I was incredibly nervous. I loved Wells. He was my best friend. People had been joking about our pairing since we were in elementary school. But the idea of pledging to spend the rest of my life with him had my gut in knots and made my hands shake. The test looked into a myriad of factors, from overall future compatibility to similar backgrounds and genetic comparability. Then it went into a series of way too personal questions about your inner thoughts and feelings and then there was a psychological test, and it took into account shared life experiences and worldview and all kinds of stuff that I'd felt horridly awkward talking about in the test. It was incredibly rare for someone to get matched more than two stations away from where they came from so it was entirely ridiculous for Fox to worry she'd be matched to someone from farming.

Not, of course, that I had anything against Farming station. Farming was just as good as the other stations, only thing was, I could NOT see a girl like Fox trying to work a farm. Not that she would be forced to. She could absolutely keep her job at the shop in Second Station, but the image in itself? Amusing to say the least. She had been 18 for a few months now, and I knew she was anxious to figure out what the tests said. I didn't know which would be worse, having to wait over a year after testing, like Wells, to find out what the Ark wants your future to hold, or a situation like mine, where you have no time to figure out your job or how to be an adult on the Ark before everyone expects you to get married.

I had managed to convince mom to hold off on dress shopping, though I didn't know why. It was going to come no matter if I had a wedding dress or not. I sighed. She had the afternoon off and I got done with my resident's shift an hour before the shops closed, which would only give her an hour to force me to try on clothes I didn't want to buy in the first place. It was a good idea. I'd run it by her after my lunch shift.

Two days. Two days until I turned 18. Two days until I had to become an adult and start my life far too early.  
"Yes Fox." She turned around to face me, confused.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes I'm nervous."

* * *

 **A/N: Thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thanks to all who reviewed - eternally grateful! xoxo - E**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2**

"Happy Birthday!" Voices called out around me provoking me to promptly burst into tears.

"Oh! Sweetie!" My mother was instantly at my side, her arms wrapped comfortingly around me. "Sweetheart don't cry! Everything's going to be all right." Slam. I glanced up. The door to my parents' room had swung shut, my father disappearing inside.

"Mom, why has dad been so distant lately? He won't talk to me about it and he keeps just up and leaving any time a conversation gets difficult in the slightest."

"He's just tired these days, sweetie." She tried to assure me. "Ever since that oxygen fiasco they've had everyone working double time to be sure they can catch something like that in time again if it ever becomes a problem." She was lying. She always scrunched her nose up when she lied. Well, mostly lying, I knew that after dad and his team had fixed the flawed system that was allowing oxygen to escape they had been on hyper vigilance that something like this had never happened again. If dad hadn't caught it and fixed it in time with his apprentice, Raven Reyes, Jaha would have been forced to do something drastic to save everyone's lives.

"Yeah, mom. Whatever."

"Come on, get dressed. The Drawing starts in an hour in First Station Auditorium." I pulled on my clothes for the day, more utilitarian than fashionable. Leather boots, thick manufactured wool socks, dark green pants that fit around my legs like a glove and a grey v neck with arm warmers. They'd dropped the heat on the ark, again, conserve energy and all. I considered grabbing the old leather jacket that hung on my bed post but I knew mom would already be upset that I wasn't dressed in my Sunday best, adding dad's old work coat wasn't going to help much.

I hated dressing up when we went to assemblies or meetings. I'd be sat next to all of my peers and a decent number of them couldn't afford the nice clothes mom bought me. I felt like a snob when I wore my best. Besides. This was far more comfortable and it wasn't like I was trying to make a good first impression with Wells, he knew exactly what I looked like and one day of dressing up wasn't about to change anything. My stomach was twisting again, and I swallowed back some vomit before pulling and pinning my hair away from my face. Ugh.

* * *

Hours later I was sitting crammed between Wells and and Fox, both of whom were twitching nervously. Fox was picking at the scarf she wore and Wells' foot was tapping like he was dancing. I was still. Perfectly frozen. I didn't twitch when I got nervous. I froze up. Silent, still and terrified. That was me right now. Names were being called and one by one, we stood to meet one another. They called us up alphabetically. Sort of. The started with Albert Adams and went through the list alphabetically through each of our surname groupings. Then they'd call of matches for that group. Sometimes groups were substantially smaller, usually meaning two people with last names close alphabetically had been matched, or that someone hadn't been matched at all. Groups were usually from 12 to 16 people once everyone and their match went up, in the beginning at least. By the time they hit the M's and beyond, so many of us had already been called up with the match, there was occasionally a group of only two people. So much for learning privately. You'd think with all our advanced technology we would have figured this out a bit better by now. It really was supposed to be private. No one was supposed to know who was even possibly matched with who. But it was a bit obvious. When Helen Richards got called up with the A's through D's it was clear she had been matched with one of the 6 boys who were organically in that grouping of surnames. She had blushed as she walked past the boys, each of them eyeing her up wondering which of them had been paired with the thin beauty. I noticed that Gemini Stangis was glowering, knowing that since Helen and he were both called out of order, she wasn't meant for him. He'd always been an arrogant son of a bitch. First Station. Arrogant. Entitled. Annoying as hell. Always got whatever he wanted. Apparently what he had wanted was Helen. Too fucking bad dickwad. Okay it was probably relevant to note that I had a personal issue with Gemini and that I may not be the most biased person after he had cheated on Fox with her neighbor and upon our confrontation he had simply pointed out that Ville was prettier and could Fox really expect him to stay true when she only put out once in a while? Yeah. Dickwad. I hope he got matched with a guy. I hoped he was straight as an arrow, and matched with a guy who blackmailed him into going through will all of this. Or that he was matched with someone with an undiagnosed STD that didn't affect women but killed the man. Melodramatic, sure, but effective. My murder plans were interrupted as councilwoman Peters led the first group away. We were up next. Why oh why did the alphabet but G so damned close to the beginning?!

This was going to be horrible. It was humiliating. We'd get to the E-H group and Wells Jaha would be called up and everyone would know that what they'd suspected for years would be true there would be nothing romantic or private about it. And all the other kids would whisper behind their hands that two of the most privileged kids on the Ark, of course they get paired, and that this whole thing is rigged and then I would have to marry Wells and pop out some perfect little baby who annoyed me and reminded me about this whole damn thing every day and then for all I knew I'd start resenting Wells' kid - my kid - and I'd be the worst mother on the Ark and let's be honest, regardless of all of this, I'd probably be a pretty shit mom. I was barely 18 for Christ's sake. How did Wells expect me to do this? Why was I supposed to suddenly just... grow up, get married, have a baby, just because Wells was ready? I wasn't ready. I didn't want Wells' stupid baby. Except I knew Wells too well. His kid would be a freaking genius. All the idiocy, and anxiety, and self doubt the child was destined to have, was all coming from me and I damn well knew it. My heart was pounding. I held onto a hope in my mind that they wouldn't call my name. Just jump straight from Hayley Fox to Brick Gustus. Maybe there's someone better for Wells than me. Maybe there isn't anyone the test wanted to punish with getting matched with me. Then again, I really wasn't that lucky.

Maybe I should just say no. Maybe I should refuse to marry Wells, never have a kid at all. I could probably do it if it wasn't Wells. He was one of my best friends and chancellor's son or not, if we didn't get married, he probably wouldn't get to have a kid. And he really, really wanted a kid. He was a family man. It would be cruel to deny him that. It would be... I couldn't do that to my best friend. Even if he said he understood, he would grow to resent me and then I wouldn't even have a friend and then I would end up a loner in my own little personal pod and I wouldn't speak for days at a time because I would be so completely alone and then eventually I'd do something stupid for the sheer need to do _something_ and then I'd get floated all because I was too nervous to marry my best friend.

God. I really was a fuckup sometimes.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are ready for the next group and we would like to remind everyone that these names are called in no specific order. This is done so that the first knowledge of pairing is given to the pairs themselves, so please refrain from speculating and commenting." The request was met with a soft tittering of laughter by the otherwise tense group. Chancellor Jaha winked at the small cluster who had been whispering the loudest as he stood, taking the scroll from Marcus Kane and stepped forward, ready to read the names. They blurred together until I heard one I recognized well.  
"Hayley Fox, please stand." Oh hell. This was it. I was next. They were going to call me up next. Or not. Don't do it. Don't say my name Jaha. I'm not ready for this. "Clarke Griffin, stand please. Hell. I was going to be sick. I was actually going to be sick. Fox reached over and took my hand, gripping tightly. Brick's name was called and that would be the end of the G names. There weren't any H's in our group. Now Jaha would say our pairs and our fates would be sealed. A few names were read and I stood, frozen, clenching Fox's hand waiting to hear 'Wells Jaha'.

Five names were called. None of the E-H's had been called up with the first group and since we were paired alphabetically in school a lot, I knew how many there were supposed to be. That meant there was only one name left to be called in our assemblage.

One more left. And I already knew what name that would be.

Wells stood beside me, and took my hand with a reassuring grin as his father red the last name off the sheet.

"Bellamy Blake."


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

The collective gasp that accompanied the last name in our group was only a portion of the confusion that ensued the end of our group. Group 2, we were called, and the expectation that Wells Jaha was to be a part of it was borderline unanimous. After the reading of the last name, the Chancellor's brow had furrowed deeply and he'd flipped back and forth between pages as if reassuring himself he hadn't read wrong. Wells had slowly let go of my hand and awkwardly (and altogether too slowly for my liking - although everything right now was moving far too slowly for my liking) sat back down in his seat. Fox had gripped my hand like a velociraptor and had turned to monitor any and all expressions I might be making. My mother had begun crying and was wringing her hands as though she had no idea what to do with them. (The leading Doctor left in all of humanity ladies and gentlemen, wringing her hands because her child wasn't chosen to marry the Chancellor's son.) I turned to look at my father but he simply stared at his hands, refusing to look at me. Wonderful. One more way I'd somehow disappointed him, I supposed. People around the assembly room began whispering. Whispers turned to outright talking and moments later the room was practically in an uproar. The half I knew were calling out that there had been some mistake and some of those I hadn't met, from the further stations were going on about (as best as I could tell anyway) that Bellamy Blake person and how long it had been since we'd had a rerun.

That was actually interesting, we all talked about there being a rerun but it was fairly rare. There was usually someone within your own bracket that matched well enough even if it wasn't a perfect fit and if not, the likelihood of someone much younger matching better than your own peers? It wasn't impossible, just rare. I wondered how old Bellamy Blake was. And whom he was matched with. Brick Gustus was bisexual, maybe Bellamy was gay or something and that was why they hadn't matched him before. A pandemic had broken through a few years back and gay couples were being matched all of a sudden to take on the orphans. Before that they were sort of just allowed to pick their own homo partner since they wouldn't be having a kid anyway. Not that anyone had decided to take bisexuals into accounting there - a note I was still pretty bitter about. Whatever. The gays were getting their own back in the past few drawings. It had happened last drawing, Eloise McCampian and Gemma Lily had been matched (Eloise hadn't come out yet so that had been quite the surprise to everyone) and they had adopted a little boy named Sapphire. I had never really thought about having a child before that point, but that kid was freaking adorable.

"Group 2!" Chancellor Jaha's voice rang out and he quieted the crowd with his intense gaze. "To the front of the room. Now." We all slowly ascended, me pulling Fox the whole way. Fox was even jitterier than before. I heard her muttering under her breath. "Bellamy Blake? Holy hell, please God let me have matched with Bellamy Blake." I smirked. Well that would pair interestingly with my gay theory. 15 of us reached the front and I looked around at those surrounding me. I recognized them all with some degree of familiarity. It must be Bellamy Blake who was missing. A guard was making his way forward, likely to find Bellamy and escort him to the group, but rather than pulling someone up, he passed the crowds and joined us beside Jaha.

"Mr. Blake." Jaha acknowledged. Oh. Wow. Okay. Guard training took years, and no one was allowed to enter the academy until they were 18. I noticed his shoulder tags and saw his rank. Officer. He couldn't be younger than 25. We'd had three pairings in the last seven years. There were only supposed to be 2 a decade, but because of one particular generations reluctance to have kids right away, they started to overlap with the next grouping, 5 years younger than them, and suddenly there was this plethora of kids in our decade and they had to split us all up a bit further. I still thought it had been done very intentionally, because if you divided evenly in thirds, Wells would have been in the previous group by 8 whole days. Whatever Jaha. Your little plan didn't work anyway.

That thought of me and Wells was making me anxious again and I had to focus on something else before I started back towards the 'panic' track I'd been on earlier. Bellamy Blake. Guard. Rerun. In our group. Hopefully with Fox because it would make her happy and she deserved to be happy. _Three_ pairings. A plethora of humans. He hadn't been matched up with any of them? How bad could he have been? His face was tipped to the floor, hidden from me by the hat he wore and I didn't want to crane too far and oh so obviously check him out in front of the entire population of the Ark. A guide shuffled us out of the room, the eyes of every human in existance upon us. Group 2. I guess we didn't exactly perform to expectations. I smirked. Take that. Fox almost broke down crying beside me and I gripped her arm tightly. I leaned over and whispered "8 inches" in her ear. She snorted out a laugh and onward we marched. This was it. The rest of forever.

As soon as we left the room, Kane led us down a hallway as a girl I didn't recognize passed out envelopes with our names on the front and a number and letter on the back. 4A.

"Ladies if you will follow Minnie she will give you further instructions." Kane was avoiding eye contact with me. He'd known me my whole life. And now he couldn't so much as meet my eyes. Had I done something wrong? I had hoped with everything I had that I wouldn't get paired with Wells. Maybe I had done this.

"Okay girls. You have all been paired with men so this is a fairly simple process. You will enter the room with your number on the door and meet your match. You will have some time to speak with them. In about 10 minutes an aide will come in and ask if either of you wishes to withdraw yourself from the reproduction program right away. If you do, the two of you will have to fill out some paperwork and then you will be able to go home. If you would not like to withdraw yourself from the program, then the aide will discuss your options with you. Please note, you are able to withdraw at any time. Even if you decide to go ahead now, you will not be forced into anything at any time." They said that a lot. 'We're not forcing anyone to do anything' or something with a very similar ring to it. Yeah. 'Cause that didn't make you sound like you were guilty as hell of something.

We had reached a long corridor, each with marked numbers. 4A stuck out like someone was shining a spotlight on it. My hands were shaking. Who waited for me? It wasn't Wells, that much was clear. Maybe the room was empty. Maybe this was all some wild dream brought on by how anxious I was over the pairing. 4A. Here it was. The rest of my life.

When the door slid open, his back was to me but it didn't matter. I knew instantly who it was. The guard. I'd been paired with the mysterious guard. I cleared my throat and he seemed to hear me, but he didn't turn around. Great. I'd been paired with an asshole. _If you're being honest with yourself, Clarke, that's probably fair. The way you've been acting lately, you deserve an asshole._

"Um…hi." _Um, hi? That's what you decided the first words you wanted your future husband and potentially the father of your child to hear from you? Um, hi? God, Clarke. You really know how to fuck shit up._ The man dipped his head a bit and whether he was already disappointed with me - _Again, that would be completely fair on his part -_ or he was simply collecting himself I couldn't tell. Then, so slowly it was painful to watch, he turned around. I almost gasped. Fox hadn't been kidding. He was unlike anyone I had ever seen. His hair was slicked back, as the guards were wont to do but it was a beautiful, rich chestnut color. And his eyes? His eyes were alluring and it was almost as if there were several shades of brown that were swirling about, mixing - no, dancing with one another. His skin was darker than mine and some fanciful part of me imagined the even richer hue it would have if he ever spent much time in the sun. _Get ahold of yourself, Clarke, that's an idiotic idea. We never spend time in the sun, we're stranded in outer space, idiot_. There were a small spattering of freckles across his nose that softened his look enough that, though there was a definite edginess to him, he didn't look menacing. He was serious, stoic almost and maybe just a little bit pissed off.

"Clarke Griffin?" His voice was low, rumbling through the air and it sent a chill down my spine.

"Sorry, have we met?" He let out a derisive laugh that was a lot more like a snort.

"Not likely, Princess. This has got to be some sort of joke."

"Sorry?"

"Oh come on. No one in your station is going to accept you marrying some loner guard from factory station. Hell, why am I even saying that. There's no way you'd actually go through with any of this."

"You seem to be making an awful lot of assumptions about me."

"Are you telling me you weren't shocked and heartbroken when they didn't call up golden boy with you? Are you telling me you have always dreamed of ending up with a recluse from a station so far from yours you'd never even met the man in person despite being stuck on a spaceship together for your entire life? Don't forget his floated father and seamstress mother who can't afford new clothing for herself. Oh yeah, Princess, it's the dream."

"Wow. Is the sarcasm meant to cover up the fact that you have no personality? Or will there be a plethora of little quirks like that to look out for when we're married?" His face suddenly softened but I was too deep into my tirade to stop now. "And for your information Bellamy Blake, I felt nothing but relief when I realized that I wasn't about to go down the only path that anyone's ever expected of me my entire life. This huge weight was lifted off of me the moment Wells sat back down. He's my best friend but I don't love him and I never have. And as for what I've always dreamed of?" I was breathing hard now. And were those tears welling in my eyes? Jesus Clarke, he's going to think you're pathetic. But my mouth was a train I had no hope at stopping now that I'd let it loose. "If I'd ever had hopes or dreams they disappeared a long time ago when I realized I had expectations to live up to." He was silent, a frown still set firmly on his face.

"Forgive me for setting aside some of the very serious things you've just said to back up for a moment." He began slowly. "Did you just say, when we're married? As in, you're at least considering saying yes? Marrying me?" I froze. That was as close to a proposal someone got these days. This was the moment where my hands were supposed to be shaking and my voice quivering because I was so nervous. Like I had been half an hour ago at the thought of marrying Wells. Nervous. Huh. In all the commotion I'd forgotten that this was supposed to be terrifying. Looking at this annoying, cynical, sarcastic outcast, this stranger, I wasn't really nervous anymore.

"I am."

* * *

I am. I am. He had all but proposed to me and I had all but agreed. I sunk into a chair I hadn't noticed before and took a deep shivering breath. "If we were on Earth do you think life would be this complicated?" I thought aloud to the man I barely knew. He snorted in response but there was no derision towards me, only that idea.

"Princess, this is the opposite of complicated. They tell us who we're meant to be with and we trust them." Trust them. Now those were words he spat out with derision. "That's not complicated at all." I shrugged.

"I've been so nervous about this pairing for months and all of a sudden I'm just…not." He looked up at me from under thick lashes.

"No one is going to like this. Not my people, not yours. You know that, right?" I took a deep breath.

"The only opinion that matter to me…" I trailed off, thinking of my father. "Well, I've ruined his good opinion of me a long while ago, one more thing isn't going to make a difference." His brow furrowed but he didn't question my response. "What about you?" I queried. "As you say, your people may be upset, especially after mine begin to chatter. It could cause a massive upset."

"Star crossed lovers, so to speak?" I blushed at the thought but nodded.

"Two households, both alike in dignity,"

"From ancient grudge, break to new mutiny?" He replied, raising his eyebrow. "That's not entirely promising." I laughed softly. "Look. You may not understand this, but it's sort of something I've been picturing myself doing since I was a kid so bear with me on this." I waited as he took a deep breath. He stepped towards me and took my hand in his, lifting me up from the chair I had still been melted into. His hands were warm but not sweaty. His skin was rough, calloused, but somehow the texture felt comforting. Suddenly he was down on one knee before me, refusing to meet my eyes and his cheeks were doing something I'd call blushing if it didn't look so incredibly sexy. (Wait sexy? Did I just call him sexy?)

"Clarke Griffin," He began, his voice higher than usual. "Will you marry me?" The reply came out of me before I even had the chance to think about it.

"Yes." He nodded and then smiled sheepishly. "I don't have a ring for you." I shrugged.

"No one really does that anymore. Besides, it's not like you knew you were about to be picked, it's not your drawing day." His expression wasn't readable but it certainly wasn't one of relief or agreement.

"Yeah. I kind of thought I was a lone wolf."

"I never understood that expression. Didn't wolves travel in packs?"

"I don't know, I guess." Three sharp knocks interrupted and I jumped, pulling my hand back from Blake's, embarrassed - although why I should be was beyond me, I was about to marry the guy - as he all but fell over in an attempt to jump to his feet.

"May I come in?" A low voice I knew too well sounded out, only slightly muffled by the door. I walked to the door and opened it.

"Chancellor Jaha." Blake's voice was strained, nervous even. The kindly man didn't pay him a moments notice before reaching down and pulling me into a hug.

"Hey kiddo." I sighed, breathing in the familiar scent of my Godfather, letting him hold me comfortingly. "Your parents instantly wanted to come back and talk to you, make sure you understood everything was going to be okay but you know the rules, no one back here until first deciders make their choice." He smirked. "Which of course includes me but what's the point of being Chancellor if you can't bend a few rules to check on your favorite Goddaughter." I heard a snort coming from Blake along with an incredulous mumble that sounded an awful lot like " _His fucking Goddaughter._ "

"When you say my parents," I began not able to help the hurt and anger I felt knowing my father would not have done any of the things Jaha had suggested. He knew I knew and his smile was subsequently of a forced nature.

"Your mom's real worried about you kiddo." I nodded.

"I mean why wouldn't she be?" And there was the appearance of Sarcastic Blake. Lovely. "Heaven forbid the Princess is alone with a guard from factory station for any significant period of time. Could you imagine what would happen?"

"No one means any offense to you, son, but-"

"I'm not your son." Now it was Jaha's turn to snort derisively.

"I think the entire Ark is aware that Clarke is not in here with my son right now."

"Okay, that's enough." They had got to be kidding me with this. "This is a good thing. This is what is right for everyone in this room as well as the future of the Ark. Becca wrote that test herself, okay? It comes up with a million possible scenarios and then the one that's best for everyone is chosen."

"We know how the testing works, Princess."

"Just as we all know that nobody is forced into anything." Jaha concluded forcefully. "There are so many options for the both of you at this point that it seems silly to stand here arguing over one step of this vast process." Blake frowned, about to retort but I knew that wasn't going to end well.

"Thank you for your opinion Uncle Jaha." I broke in. "But it would appear to me that there is only one clear option here." Jaha smiled serenely. _Had that smile always been annoying? He did it all the time in speeches and at State events, I'd seen him use it on hundreds of people but it was only now that it appeared that he was looking down on me, feeling utterly superior, as if he were speaking to a small child_.

"Indeed. No hard feelings to or from anyone."

"Not at all. Bellamy Blake has just proposed to me and I have acquiesced. The only option now is to discuss with our families what the best dates might be for them. Thank you for coming to see me Uncle. But we have to go register our decision now. I wouldn't want our marriage to get backtracked because we missed our first deadline, would you?"

* * *

 **Author's Note: So this is the first fic where I don't actually jump perspectives and it's always Clarke and I feel like that actually makes all of this a bit easier? Cool! But I digress... What did you think? PLEASE review! xoxo - E**


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

The backlash from those I had considered my friends was far more astronomical than I would have thought. At the announcement of my engagement to someone, as they repeatedly said "from factory station" - Why was everyone fixating on that? It wasn't like he was an escaped murderer - my neighbors were suddenly so judgmental and had a superiority complex in a way I'd never noticed before. "When did everyone become so classist?" I asked my mother.

"It's just unexpected dear. You and Wells are so perfect for each other and then all of a sudden this man whose borderline too old for you comes out of nowhere and puts a dent in all of that." 7. He was 7 years older than me. God forbid. Jaha had been 5 years older than his wife. And mums parents had been 6 AND A HALF. Basically the same age difference I had. But if that was the excuse for her weirdness about this whole thing then I'd let her have it. For now.

"Well I'm so sorry that my ending up with the perfect person for me puts such a damper on everyone else's plans. I'll be more careful next time." Damn. His sarcasm was rubbing off on me. We'd been having lunch together. My hospital shift didn't allow a lot of time when he was off guard duty and vice versa but for half an hour of my lunch break he was also free and we had decided (I had decided) that it would be a good idea to show everyone we were serious and united on this. The sooner they got that into their heads the sooner this ridiculousness would be over. Or so I had thought. Every time we were seen together my people stared. And not at all subtly did they whisper too loudly behind their hands about the wrongness of what was happening or what I must have done, what dark secret I carried that somehow made me not good enough for Wells. The fact that Wells had been left pair-less hadn't exactly helped matters. Just as Blake had expected, the fact that my people held an issue with his marrying me had made his people hold an issue with their conceited superioristic attitudes (as they should have!).

"Darling, have you been listening to a word I've said?" Oh. Shit. Mom had been talking to me.

"Sorry, what?" She sighed.

"Fox offered to let you come in after hours tonight to get a dress. If you're oh so convinced that this is the right path for you, you're going to need a proper wedding dress." I shrugged. I hadn't really thought about it.

"I don't know mom, can I think about it?"

"Clarke! Don't you want to look your best on your big day, no matter who it's with?" What the hell did that mean? I didn't have the energy to dissect her words, I was meeting Bellamy for lunch in 5.

"I said I'll think about it." I stood to my feet and slung my bag over my shoulder. "I've got to go mom. See you after lunch." Shedding my doctor's coat and storing it in my locker, I hastened to the cafe in B Dock. It was closer to his turf, so to speak, and consequently the stares and side conversations that were clearly about us were fewer in number.

"How is work?" His first question every time we met up.

"Work is work. I got to resection someone's bowel today all on my own…" I trailed off. "Although I suppose that's hardly appropriate discussion for lunch. We waited in silence for a few moments until our food was ready. He may be gruff and blunt, and known as the 'bad boy guard' but without fail he jumped up to fetch my food before I could every time. He let me through doors first. He held out a hand to assist me up a step. He was a gentleman in every sense of the word. But there was a cold wall there, too. Something, many things most likely, hiding beneath the surface. Just out of reach was the real Bellamy Blake and I couldn't help wonder if I would ever meet that man.

Somehow the long tangents I concocted to fill the silences he made, got us to the topic of my wedding dress. "My mom wants to buy me some extravagant new dress complete with an old world veil for the wedding. It may not be the groom she expected but I'm still to have her dream wedding." I froze. Had I really just said that? "I didn't mean…it's not that she…it's just mean it wasn't the plan, you know?"

"Don't pussyfoot around your words, Princess. We're both on the same page as far as everyone else's expectations for the both of us. You don't need to try and spare my feelings. It wasn't the plan but if this marriage is going to work we sure as hell need to be honest with one another." I nodded slowly. We lapsed into silence once more, but this time it was him who spoke first. "Do you want a fancy new dress and a veil?"

"No!"

"That sounded very defensive." He raised an eyebrow making me pause, cutting off the even more defensive words that were already on their way out of my mouth. Right. Honesty.

"I don't. Fancy clothes make me uncomfortable. And I have plenty of nice things because my best friend works in a clothing store and my mom is obsessed with buying me things so between the two of them I tend to get roped into a lot of new clothing. I kind of hate it."

"But?" I sighed.

"When I was a little girl I found this old, red…thing. I think at one point it had been a sheet. From a bed. I think. It had a big hole in the middle from a fire so it had been thrown out, set to launch, but it was so beautiful to me. No one wore red that shade. I spirited it away and hid it in my room. My father found it one day and I thought he'd make me get rid of it but he just smiled and got a scissors. He cut around the burnt part and helped me drape it like some sort of poncho. I asked him about the color, I had never seen something so rich and vibrant before. He said it had probably been caught in a chemical fire and that the smoke must have brought out some of the richer hues in the synthetic dyes. I loved that poncho. I wore it every time I played dress up. Especially when I imagined being a bride. I'd make Wells stand up in the front of my living room as I walked slowly, marching really, towards him and my dad, playing wedding." There was a long pause as Blake took a deep breath.

"So I guess since Wells has already married you, it's only fair that someone else gets a shot." He tried to tease me.

"I wasn't pretending to marry Wells." I smirked. "No, Wells was my Maid of Honor. I was marrying my dad, asking him if he'd be my dad forever." The tears were coming. I had to change the subject soon. "You, Mr. Blake, have the honor of being my first and only husband." His lips turned up in a hint of a smile. "Anyway, I guess the point of that story was that I always thought I would get married in a color like that. But they don't really make clothes like that so it's not like shopping for a new dress is going to get me that, right?" He was looking at me funnily. I rushed on. "Look at me blabbering away. I'm being ridiculous." I glanced at my watch. "And look at the time. I have to get back. Some kid named Jasper Jordan broke both his arms. I mean how do you even manage that as an _intern_ in agriculture?"

* * *

"Have you figured out what happened yet?" The nurse (Katie? Kelly? Something like that...) smirked.

"Oh yeah. Apparently he was commissioned to create a new synthetic brand of marijuana for 'uncited medicinal purposes' and accidentally ingested the stuff. Didn't wash his hands before eating or something." I rolled my eyes. Yeah. Okay. Sure that was it. "He tried to climb the walls, apparently he wanted to be Spiderman' and he jumped and fell right into portable shelving unit which promptly fell on him." I turned to the person in question.

"So basically you got high, Mr. Jordan?" I clarified as the nurse whose name I could never remember walked out of the room. He smirked.

"Basically the Chancellor commissioned this venture to find create a synthetic medical plant. Let's me and my buddy out of lock up to do it, right. Must be some important person with anxiety, right?" I rolled my eyes as he continued.

The air was contaminated. Hazard of the job. Won't happen again." I couldn't help but smile as the boy with goggles on his head looked up at me hopefully. Even his naiveté was unable to hide his lie, his guilt. Accident my ass. Idiot.  
"I'm glad it was an accident." I told him, reviewing his labs one last time. "For a moment there I was afraid you had been purposely experimenting with a controlled drug. A guy could get floated for that." The smile was instantly wiped off his face.

"Nah, I'm still 17."

"A 17 year old they let out of lock up who went straight to illegal drugs!" I hissed in a whisper. "Do you think for a second they wouldn't float you the minute the clock struck midnight on your 18th? And just because your buddy didn't get hurt and wasn't caught, you think they would just let him go? He'd been in lock up too! They'd have thrown you both back in." He was clearly panicking now. I took a deep breath and made a snap decision. "It's a good thing I was wrong. And this was all a ventilation accident. I can tell by the way the drug was inhaled."

"It wasn't inhaled!" Mr. Jordan was still freaking out. "Oh God, we didn't inhale it we-"

"I'm afraid you're mistaken Mr. Jordan. It says so right here in my charts," I quickly typed a replacement line, permanently deleting what the nurse had found. "Accidental inhalation of small particles. There's no way to do something like this on purpose. And anyone who reads the charts in the future will be able to verify that." We were silent for a long time as he digested what I'd said.

"Thank you Dr. Griffin."

"Call me Clarke."

"Call me Jasper." I nodded.

"Come see me if you feel any after effects, oh and Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"You get a second chance. Everyone does. Don't blow it. Don't do anything stupid. Again." He nodded.

"Yes Dr- yes Clarke."

The rest of my day was filled with malnourished kids who didn't have as much oxygen as they should have. After I reviewed all the charts at the end of my shift I noticed with a sinking feeling that they were all from one of the outer stations.

"Mom," I asked after eating dinner. "Could there be something wrong with the vents in the outer stations?"  
"Why would you ask that? No, better question, why would you ask _me_ that? That's ask question for your father." I frowned.

"We still aren't really talking. And I'm just curious because I noticed a lot of kids out there are coming in with oxygen deficiencies or decreased lung strength or something along those lines." My mom sighed.

"That's nothing to do with the vents, Clarke. I noticed a similar trend about a year ago. I asked Jaha about it and he had some tests run. The vents are fine. Some of the parents are allowing their children to play around the machinery in factory station. They're inhaling the fumes. We've put out PSAs but so far nothing doing. Maybe talk to your fiancé about it. See why no one will listen to us." A twinge of awkwardness ran through me. Was I able to do that? Could I talk to Bellamy about something this sensitive? We talked all the time but not really about important things. What kind of relationship did we actually have? On the other hand, if we figured this issue out, we could improve the health of a lot of children.

* * *

 **Author's Note: PLEASE review! Get the constructive criticism coming:) xoxo - E**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

As it turned out I was chicken as all hell and every time I thought I might bring up the problem to my intended I made the mistake of saying I had something serious to talk about, had put down whatever he was doing and look at me with that expression that could only ever be described as a smolder. Then I found myself transfixed by those eyes, that deep, thoughtful expression, even by the fact that he would stop whatever he was doing just because I said something was important. That was not the response I was used to receiving. So then I'd ramble on about something so utterly NOT important that I was shocked he still took me seriously when I tried to claim anything was. And yet he did. (Thus far anyway.) The fact that I was transfixed by my handsome, (very) soon to be husband shouldn't have been a problem, but it was. He showed no signs of returning even an ounce of admiration towards me (let alone feelings of any sort) and I wasn't about to be the girl hopelessly crushing on her husband who couldn't be bothered to care for her in return. I didn't have control over much, but of this I could manage.

"Wake up, sleepy head. It's time to start getting ready." My mother poked her head into my room and I groaned. No. Just let me stay here. Buried under my sheets. Unmarried. As soon as I got up I would have to put on that purple dress mom had bought and make promises I didn't know I could keep. This wasn't how a girl was supposed to feel on the morning of her wedding.

"Come on, Clarke." My father's voice was low and gravely but for the first time in ages there was also a note of happiness, almost excitement, too. I sat straight up. "Look honey, a package came this morning. It's from him." My dad held out a dented, much used box; I could feel my brow furrow. Bellamy had sent me a gift? Like a proper, Old Earth wedding gift from the groom? I blushed to think how the young, naive Clarke had envisioned just this sort of thing happening, a wedding to mirror the traditional ceremonies on Earth. No one really did that sort of thing anymore. Wells certainly wouldn't have sent anything along and yet here this stranger was, fulfilling part of my childish fantasy without even knowing it. Maybe there was something to that test.

I glanced at mom. "Do you know what it is?" She shook her head but gestured at dad.

"I do." He said proudly. "Your fiancé found me after work about a week ago, smack dab in the middle of his sleep shift and asked me for a favor. He went on about his family being traditional, and how they sent wedding gifts to their brides and how he had an idea but needed my help." Dad smiled. "I think you'll like it but he said many times that you're under no obligation to wear it if you already had something else planned." I was intrigued. I ripped open the card resting on top and couldn't hold in a smile.

 _Princess,_

 _This is probably stupid. Like really stupid. But it's a tradition with my family for the groom to get the bride a gift and I didn't really know what you'd want so I had this thought…no. Never mind. My mom's a seamstress and she loves to make wedding dresses. I'm sure you and your mom have already picked something out so really you don't have to wear this.  
Anyway, I'll see you in the chapel.  
Bellamy _

I opened the box and gasped. "I can't believe he remembered." I reached inside and pulled out a dress the most brilliant shade of red.

"He came by and asked if by chance I still had it." My dad said grinning. "Aren't you going to try it on?"

"We've already bought her a wedding dress!" Mom said dismayed. But I barely heard her. I stripped down to my underwear and threw the dress on. It was just as soft as I remembered. I glanced into the mirror and gasped. There was a tasteful amount of cleavage displayed, while the rest of the fabric cinched in at my waist. It hugged my curves to my knees where it softened and draped elegantly to the floor. The straps fell, hugging the sides of my arms rather than the tops of my shoulders, leaving me bare from my collar bone up.

"His mom made this?" I gasped. "It fits perfectly!"

"I may have recruited Fox on that part." I hugged my dad and for the first time in weeks it felt like it used to, before the drawing.

"Wait until Wells sees. He's going to flip when he realizes where I got this fabric." That was all it took for my dad to stiffen. That was all it took for him to remember that he wanted me to marry Wells, and that I was marrying some older guy from Factory station instead.

"Bellamy." He said gruffly.

"Hmm?"

"Not Wells. Bellamy."

"Dad, what are you-"

"I'll see you there. I'm going to go make sure everything's set up right." Dad stormed out of our room and the door slammed behind him.

"More like go make sure there's nothing he can do to turn back time and fix this." I grumbled.

"Well if you're set on wearing that dress, the jewelry we borrowed out won't work with it."

"Good!" I exclaimed. "I won't wear any then."

"Nonsense! Sweetie this is one of the biggest days on your life! I will go see if I can find a veil that doesn't clash, and some a necklace and-"

"No. Mom if this is one of the biggest days I want it to be right. So no. No jewels, no veil, just my red dress." My mom sighed and I heard her mumble something about the dress she'd picked out bringing out my eyes better but I ignored her.

"Come on mom. Let's get down there before dad kills Bellamy so he can't marry me, okay?"

* * *

I was walking down the aisle. I was walking towards a handsome stranger and about to swear to spend the rest of my life with him. I was being escorted by my parents down the damned aisle towards Bellamy Blake, looking striking in his uniform as always and Chancellor Jaha in his suit, frowning but otherwise ready to marry us. Fox stood up front, practically drooling over soon to be husband. (I loved that girl, but she really was the worst bridesmaid.) Beside Fox, my lifelong Maid of Honor Wells, smiling at me reassuringly. A woman who must be Bellamy's mom stood beside him, head tilted, taking me in like she just wasn't sure. Then there was everyone else. The room seemed to split, on either side of me. The half to my left, dressed in their finest, all faces I recognized, switching from looking approvingly at me to glaring at the crowd to my right. They were people I didn't know. But given their state of casual dress and the way they kept glancing protectively at Bellamy, I assumed that they were his people. Taking a deep breath I caught the eye of a little girl, clinging tightly to her father's hand staring at me with a curious look on her face. I stuck my tongue out and winked at her and she let out a giggle. The few people around her softened their expression towards me but the others remained cold and calculating. We were certainly going to have to prove ourselves as and couple if we didn't want to be stared at everywhere we went, half the people always hating one of us. When we reached the front of the binding room, I noticed that Bellamy was standing stiffly, almost…nervously. My mother hugged me and sniffling, shuffled over to the front seat. My father eyed up Bellamy and, much to my surprise, shook his hand before joining my mom. Bellamy took my hand and we turned to face Jaha. Bellamy looked almost green.

"Don't throw up on me Blake." I whispered as we stepped closer together.

"So long as you don't make me catch you when you pass out." He squeezed my hand in a show of support and we both took a deep breath.

"We are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in matrimony." Jaha's voice spread over the room with a sense of finality. This was it. I was about to get married. "Today is the first day of the rest of their lives and those who are present, are here not only to witness their joy, but to support them in their life as they move forward." A grumbling became audible as clearly some of our guests weren't planning on being particularly supportive.

"If anyone knows any reason that these two shall not be joined in matrimony, please-"

"Skip that part." I muttered to Jaha.

"Sorry?" He asked, certain he hadn't heard me.

"Just, could you skip that part?"

"Please?" My fiancé added.

"Oh. Um. Yeah." Jaha cleared his throat. "If you disapproved, well…um…you should have talked to them earlier, I guess." Fox tried (and failed) to disguise her snort of laughter as a cough but after she quieted down, the ceremony continued. We said our vows, somehow without even looking into each other's eyes, and before I knew it, he was taking my hand and holding it out as Jaha tied the ceremonial ribbon around our fingers, tying us together.  
"What God and Man have joined together, let nothing tear asunder." Jaha said finally. "Ladies and gentlemen, I pronounce these two, husband and wife." A spattering of applause went up, some more enthusiastic and some certainly less so. "You may kiss-"

"Skip that part too." We both said simultaneously, then stopping in surprise and looking at each other for the first time the whole ceremony, laughing sheepishly. After a forced smile, Bellamy leaned forward and pressed and soft kiss to my check. The applause grew a bit louder after that and Wells even let out a wolf whistle much to his father's very apparent dismay, but then again, Uncle Jaha had always expressed his displeasure every time Wells chose to do something less than perfectly decorous. Our friends came up to congratulate us and before we could turn to each other again we were being pulled in half a dozen different directions, out time now very much so in demand.

"You two will have to sign the register, before it's legal, you know." Jaha murmured, taking charge of the situation and leading us away from the others to the side of the binding room. "That will automatically change your names in our systems as well, to whatever you have chosen." Name changes. Right. I'd forgotten about that. Bellamy looked at me nervously.

"Mrs. Blake it is." I said, definitively. He nodded.

"Right this way then Clarke Blake." We both froze. "Oh." He said simply.

"Yeah, that won't work." I giggled. "Mr. Griffin, then." I watched his brow furrow. "What's wrong with that? Bellamy Griffin is a great name!"

"No! It totally is! It's just…my family's a bit traditional and I kind of always imagined being presented as Mr. and Mrs. Blake when we walk out of the chapel." He shrugged. "It's no big deal. Really. I don't even know why I thought of it." But it was. There was a twinge of sadness in his voice and I knew that marrying me was about the last thing he'd expected. He leaned down to sign but before the stylus could touch the pad, I snatched the pen out of his hand and pushed him aside. "Hey! What are you-"

Clarke Abigail Blake. Signed in loopy, but neat script.

"Clarke. You don't have to do that. It really isn't a big deal."

"Clarke Blake is a perfectly respectable name." I said with what I hoped was a sense of finality.

"You don't have to do this for me."

"You didn't have to give me my dream wedding dress either." I countered. He glanced down and swallowed. After a few moments, he took the pen back from me and signed his name. Bellamy Alexander Blake. "You look beautiful, by the way." He muttered to me as he signed. I could feel my face flush so I simply said thank you and took his arm as he offered it, leading me away. "You look very handsome as well." He cracked a smile, the first one I'd seen all day.  
"Got a thing for a man in uniform, huh Princess?"

"What can I say, deep down us Princesses are just looking for our knights to come rescue us from marrying some Prince our parents picked out for us." Damn. That was way too close to the truth to be humorous. I sighed.

"So what now?" He asked, glancing around the room as our guests shuffled out.

"Well now is the reception but before we go to that, I'd really like to-"

"Reception? What are you talking about?"

"Our reception to the Ark? As man and wife?"

"You planned a reception?" He scoffed. I rolled my eyes.

"No. That would be a ridiculous waste of money and rations. I just opted for the one the Ark throws everyone." He stared at me blankly.

"Princess, the Ark doesn't throw a reception."

"What are you talking about? Of course they do! You can opt out and plan your own, or decide not to have one, or they throw a buffet for you and your friends and neighbors in the First cafeteria."

"Really? Then how come not one of my neighbors has ever been offered this?"

"What do you mean? I've been to like, 15 of these things." I insisted. Bellamy snorted with derision.

"You're telling me, that the Ark has been providing receptions for all of its first class citizens but it can't afford to let us use the welding torches to fix the leak in the Chem Waste lab out in Factory?" I froze.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about how the Ark decides that all the first few stations get to have parties in their honor with all these-"

"No, no, no, no. The leak? Chem Waste? What are you talking about?"

"There's a leak in the Chem Waste recycle unit out in Factory. Sometimes the air gets tainted and we all have to walk around smelling like sulfur and piss for a day or two before it's cleaned up. And since we know how to fix it, we've been requesting to use the welding machines to do so. It would mean they stay on for an extra 3 or 4 hours one day. We all said we'd do the work for free. But the Ark said that they don't have that kind of capital to release them to us just now so we won't have to smell like shit for a few days. Only apparently they do have enough to throw damned wedding receptions for all the princesses up in first and second." My mind was spinning.

"Air quality." I murmured. "Holy shit, Bellamy. Maybe that's why I keep seeing those sick kids. Bad air. From chemical waste."

"What?"

"A bunch of sick kids kept coming in, and my mom asked to have tests run on the air circulation on outer stations but the tests said that the air was circulating just fine and that the quality was normal. But the tests are run on the air before it's released out of the vents. If it's mixing with some chemical waste that's already in the air, it wouldn't matter how good it was originally."

"Damned Ark can't even test air properly." He scoffed.

"Bellamy, if that's what's going on, I can get different tests run. I can prove that it's dangerous to their health and they'll have to have it fixed." His brow furrowed.

"Are you serious? You're going to fix this?" I nodded.

"Of course. If I knew there was a problem I would have done something by now, I just…why are you looking at me like that?"

"You've never even been to Factory Station. Why would you do that for them?" It was my turn to be confused.  
"Why wouldn't it? We're all Arkadians, we're all together. And even if we weren't, Bellamy, people are getting sick and it's fixable."

"Huh."

"What?!" I asked, exasperated by his refusal to explain his feelings here properly.

"You're not really what I expected." I nodded, taking in the tall, stoic, handsome man who was something of a gentleman despite his rough tone of voice and his outer station upbringing.

"Yeah. Well, you aren't either."

* * *

 **Author's Note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! I'm DYING to know what you're all thinking!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: This is where we get to the 'MA' stuff people. If smut is not your thing, PM me for a summary and you can skip this chapter. Descriptions of smut, and some language.**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 6**

Our reception went flawlessly. Ha. It did not. People who had been to them before were comfortable, laughing, eating, chatting. Bellamy's friends were…confused. As it turned out, most of them were unaware that people still had wedding receptions, and that the Chancellor himself toasted their friend's new wife…well to say the least they were a tad out of their element. This dichotomy had led to a fair amount of tension and even a verbal fight I'd had to step between and soothe. Then of course there had been the joy of losing my husband for an hour and a half. He just disappeared. Up and left. For over 90 minutes! Then when he came back he acted like it was no big deal. He had just been "talking to a friend" and when I asked if that friend was a girl he shrugged the affirmative and yet acted incredulously when I asked if he was seeing someone else. I made it clear I wouldn't be upset or judge him, after all, this was an arranged marriage and we barely knew each other, at which point he grabbed my arm, pulled me aside and went off on a monologue that I will never forget.

"Clarke I just married you. And you may not know a ton about me, but know this. When I make a promise, I keep it. So when I stood up there and promised to be your husband I meant it. I will never cheat on you. I will always support you. And I will be the best husband I am capable of being. This isn't an open relationship Clarke, whatever you say. If we're going to do this, we're going to do this. That means being as honest as we can with one another. That means that we stay faithful to one another. That means that even if we never fall in love with each other, we still have to have love each other and look out for each other. She was just a friend. I swear you have nothing to worry about. She was…uh, working so she couldn't come to the wedding and wanted to hear about it and I needed some air from the way your dad is looking at me like he's not sure if I'm human or alien, and the way your neighbors keep saying how this must be some Cinderella story." I had blushed.

"Yeah. Okay. That I get. It's just…I have some trust issues. So if what you wanted was an open relationship, I would really want you to tell me, not just hide it from me and assume that because we move in different circles neither of us would ever find out." He nodded.

"I'm not going to say we have to tell each other everything." He said. "With our jobs the way they are and our precariously tipping relationship in the public eye, I know that neither of us can promise that we'll tell each other everything. But can we agree, here and now, never to lie to each other? Can we agree to only keep the secrets that would hurt someone else if they got out from one another but never hide our own secrets from each other?" I nodded.

"I think that sounds like a fair agreement."

Those were the second vows on my wedding day.

But now my wedding day was reaching its end. We found ourselves in our new unit. Alone. We were given the leftover rations from our reception so we wouldn't have to worry about groceries for a while. Bellamy was a bit put off by this, I knew he was, so I planned to donate most of them to the outer stations tomorrow morning. It wasn't like I couldn't afford food.

I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom and jumped when the knob turned. Bellamy stepped in and flushed, glancing away at me.

"Hey." He said quietly. "I forgot you'd be in here…" he trailed off and closed his eyes almost as though he were flustered and didn't know what to say. "No, not that I forgot about you of course, or didn't realize you'd left the kitchen earlier or anything, I just was on my way to brush my teeth and my mom usually isn't home yet so I'm alone and I guess I just wasn't thinking about the fact that anyone would be in here which is now, I realize, some really flawed logic and-" I spat out my toothpaste and smiled at him.

"It's good to know I'm not the only one who blabbers without end in sight when I'm nervous." Bellamy smiled sheepishly, his head titled to the side as he scratched the back of his neck, ruffling the hair there. "So we live together." I pointed out obviously, trying to find some transition into what I was trying to ask. "I guess we should get to know each other's habits and stuff. Around the house I mean." He nodded.

"Night or morning shower?" He asked.

"Night, you?"

"Morning." He reached past me for the toothpaste and I felt my skin prickle as I realized how close we now stood. "Well that makes logistics easy enough." I nodded.

"I see that you brush your teeth. This is good." I commented lamely. "I might just have to divorce you if you didn't."

"Without question." He agreed. "But the real test of our relationship goes a bit deeper." He held up the nearly full tube of paste. "Squeeze or roll?"

"Oh squeeze. 100%." He made a tsk noise in the back of his throat and shook his head.

"Wrong answer, Princess."

"What?! You roll up the end to get your paste out?!" I asked, as incredulous as if he had said he had a third arm. "How do you even have friends?" I realized that this may have been a bad choice of insult, as most of his 'friends' were more so acquaintances and he wasn't that particularly close with any of them.

"Says the girl who squeezes the middle of the tube like a sacrilegious heathen! Do you know how much is wasted?" I rolled my eyes.

"None! When you get to the end you cut the tube open and scrape out the bits and bobs left!"

"You cut- Princess! How on Earth do you expect me to live with you now?" He clutched his heart dramatically and winked at me with deep, sparkling chocolate colored eyes.

"A compromise." I suggested, reclaiming the tube. "I squeeze out my paste, BUT, when I'm finished brushing, I will push the paste down from the end so you won't even have to notice." He narrowed his eyes as though considering and finally, nodded.

"You drive a hard bargain, Princess." I giggled.

"Brush your teeth you weird roller. I'm going to go read my book." He nodded and I left the bathroom, trying very hard not to be disappointed by the fact that as soon as I stepped that far away from him, I couldn't smell his scent anymore. A traitorous part of my brain reminded me that the longer we lived here, the more the rest of our apartment would start to smell like Bellamy. I laid back on the couch and pulled up my book, opening to the page where my marker lay. A few minutes later, Bellamy plopped himself down on the far end of the couch and flipped on our TV.

"This is so weird." He said, staring at the flashing screen.

"Seeing them running around on the grass?" I asked, nodding in agreement.

"No, having a TV in my apartment. Not having to argue with half the floor about what we should watch." I stilled, suddenly feeling very guilty. But I knew that wasn't what he was going for. He really was just in shock of the thing. I smiled, stretching my feet out and poking his thigh.

"Well be glad I'm content with my book, because believe it or not, I can argue for my channels just as hard as your entire floor." Bellamy smirked and grabbed my foot to stop its poking assault on his leg.

"Oh yeah?" He smirked, pulling my feet into his lap. "I'd like to see that."

"Some other time."

"Aha, the Princess knows she can't walk the walk, eh?" I rolled my eyes.

"No. I could take you any day. It just so happens, that this is one of my favorite sports and if I were to be choosing the channel, this is the one I'd choose."

"Oh. Yes. I see. Because it's far more believable that you could out argue me but simply choose not to because you love sports than that you know you couldn't get this remote from me if you tried."

"I'll have you know, that I love sports. Particularly soccer."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes!" I froze. "Why?"

"Soccer is my favorite sport."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

"I guess we have something in common then."

"I guess we do." He said, turning his attention awkwardly back to the game. I did the same, putting my book down in my lap. I noticed a moment later, that not only had he kept hold of my feet, but that his thumb was rubbing slow circles around my ankles. It felt heavenly. My last girlfriend used to rub my feet. But she only did it so I'd do hers, not to mention she was complete rubbish at it and it only ever really tickled me. This however…this was magnificent.

Half an hour later, he was still absent-mindedly rubbing my feet and my head was laying back on the couch, eyes closed. Content.

"We probably have other things in common." He said, out of the blue. "I mean if the test matched us, we probably actually have a lot in common."

"Yeah, probably." We fell into silence once more before I piped up.

"Maybe we should get to know each other. Better, I mean. I've really had a good time talking with you at lunch, but there's only so much you can say in a public place." He nodded.

"So what? We just start asking questions?"

"We could play truth or dare." The suggestion was out of my mouth before I could hold it in. Damn. Now he was going to think I was a child who wanted to play childish games and he was going to look down on me for the rest of our stupid lives together. Before I could claim "joking", however, he turned to face me and pulled my legs a little further into his lap.

"Okay."

"What?"

"Okay. But since the point of this is to get to know each other, I say we just play for truths. Unless there's a question you'd rather not answer. You can get out of a truth, by accepting a dare." I nodded. Holy crap we were really doing this.

"You go first." He smirked, and kept running those maddeningly wonderful circles on the soles of my feet.

"Favorite color." He asked, politely starting with an easy question.

"Red. You?"

"Green."

"Why did you become a guard?" I countered.

"Friend of my mom thought I'd be good at it. Said they needed people like me. No one had ever told me I'd be good at something before so I figured that he had to really mean it. Turns out, jobs not that hard. It isn't difficult to be good at it. Why'd you become a doctor?"

"I like helping people. Plus my mom's a doctor so I practically grew up in her med bay. And I guess it kind of came naturally to me."

"First kiss."

"Wells."

"Of course."

"It didn't really count though. He wanted to kiss Tracy Turnbeck but hadn't kissed anyone before and didn't want to mess up so I let him practice on me. He somehow used too little tongue and also too much, all at the same time." Bellamy smiled at that. "Then you're right. Doesn't count. First kiss that counted." I smirked.

"Emily Taylor."

"Whoa, what?"

"Probably should have mentioned, but I honestly didn't think about it. I'm bisexual."

"Am I an asshole if I say that that is incredibly hot, and that you probably should have led with that when we met?" I laughed.

"No. I'll keep that in mind though. Introducing myself as 'Clarke the bisexual'. Thanks for the tip."

"Anytime. But before we go on, I'm going to need you to tell me about this kiss." I smirked at him.

"I was 14 years old and Emily and I were in a study group together. She'd been sending me vibes the whole day but I hadn't realized I was bi yet so I thought she was just being friendly. When she asked for my help getting snacks I followed her into the kitchen where she closed the door, turned around, pressed me up against her refrigerator and laid it on me."

"Please go on." He said with a smile.

"I was pretty shocked so I pushed her away, but after a moment I realized that I had really, really enjoyed it. So I spun her around and pressed her up against that fridge and kissed her back."

"Damn Princess!"

"Then I was super confused because I had always liked boys but that kiss had been pretty spectacular up until Felix Owens, one of the guys in the study group, walked in and we had to stop. So I did what any rational girl questioning her sexuality would do."

"What?" He asked excitedly.

"I waited until Emily walked back into her living room, grabbed Felix and kissed him." Bellamy burst out laughing. "It was awful, so I started thinking I was a lesbian but as it turned out, Felix was a rubbish kisser. It wasn't until Blitz Jordan kissed me a few months later that I realized I swung both ways."

"That is an epic story, Princess. And it is one I expect to be told often." I laughed.

"It's your turn, Blake. First kiss?"

"Jessa Cartwright. Agricultural. I was 12 and the only thing I could think while it was happening was that she smelled like corn." I gasped.

"That poor girl."

"Don't feel too badly for her, she only kissed me on a dare and when our teacher caught us she said I kissed her and she hasn't wanted me to so I got detention for a month."

"That's horrible!" I said, unable to stop the smile from pushing my lips up. "It's a wonder you ever kissed another girl again."

"Yes, well, then there was Roma." Suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore. I knew Roma. Roma Fields. Engineering. Tall. Tan. Hot as all hell. The thought of her kissing Bellamy… it made me… it made me… ugh. It made me irrationally angry.

"Roma Fields." I said simply, he nodded.

"Now that girl could kiss." I had to bite my lip to keep in an angry retort. "Of course I later found out it wasn't just me she was kissing."

"Bitch."

"Woah, Princess. No need to defend my honor. It was a long time ago and I really couldn't care less."

"I'm just saying." I insisted stubbornly.

"Princess, are you jealous of 15 year old Bellamy's girlfriend?" I pulled my feet out of his lap and flipped myself over, crawling hands and knees across the couch until I was face to face with him.

"Jealous? Of course not. But that's my husband she kissed half a decade ago. Plus I kind of hate her."

"Why?" He asked, sounding a lot less smug now that I'd invaded his personal space. I paused before letting the words come out in a flurry of sound.

"She's hot as hell and she's gone further with my husband than I have. Not to mention that she hated me first for no apparent reason so now I kind of have to hate her on principle."

"I can only real fix one of those things." Bellamy responded softly.

"What are you-" but the rest of my question was swallowed by his lips as his hands drew me closer and he kissed me. I was shocked. I hadn't been expecting that. His lips caressed mine gently as his right hand pulled my body closer, into his lap, and his left held the back of my head delicately, almost protectively. His lips were soft and gentle, but firm and confident and I found myself melting into his embrace. After a few moments, we pulled away, looking into each other's eyes. I could see it. I could see that he had enjoyed it as much as I had. I could see that he had felt that spark, that chemistry between us.

"It's your turn." He said softly.

"What?" My head was too dazed to focus.

"It's your turn to ask a question." I blushed, remembering our game. I moved to return to my position at the other end of the couch but his arm snaked around me and held me comfortably in his lap. I settled in before speaking.

"Are you a virgin?" He paused before he answered.

"No. Does that upset you?"

"Only if it upsets you that I'm not either." He shook his head.

"How many people - I don't need to know who, just a ballpark number."

"One boy. Three girls." He nodded slowly. "You?"

"Two." That WAS a surprise. A guy who looked like Bellamy? Who was also a gentleman and pretty damned funny? And gave a girl foot rubs and listened to her when she spoke? Actually, I was shocked. He may only be 25 but I was expecting a list with more than one digit not more than one name. "Clarke I said it didn't matter and it doesn't but... the guy. Was it Wells?" His eyes, stony and serious now looked into mine and I gave him a reassuring smile.

"No. No I've never slept with Wells." He seemed a touch more content with that answer. "Your question." I prompted him.

"Tell me about your first time."

"16. Emily Taylor."

"Damn that girl gets around!"

"I'd been dating this guy, Henry, and we had just broken up before the class field trip, you know when you go to the auditorium and they turn off all the lights and open the ceiling so it's just the fiberglass and they teach you about astronomy?"

"Yeah?"

"Anyway, Henry was being a real jerk about how I wouldn't put out and I got seated next to Emily Taylor and she heard him being an ass and put her hand on my arm to comfort me." I smiled, talking through that memory.

* * *

"Ignore him, Clarke. He's an ass. He didn't deserve to get laid anyway." Her hand slowly caressed mine until all of a sudden, it wasn't just on my hand anymore. Now her fingers were softly stroking their way up my arm. Across my collar bone. Down the side of my chest. The side of my breast. Up a bit. Over. A chill ran through me as her fingers dipped beneath my shirt collar. Beneath my bra. The darkness covered the flush that was surely spreading over my skin as her fingers tweaked my nipple. My own hand began wandering. Out of my lap and onto her leg. Up her leg. Squeezing. Pinching her skin through her pants. Until I got to her crotch. I grabbed tightly and began to move my hand, running hard. She gripped my breast so hard it hurt…but that only made the wetness pool between my legs even more.

"Let's get out of here." She whispered in the dark, her hand letting go of me. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out at the unfairness of her hand leaving my skin. I pulled my own hand back and followed her lead. Sneaking out of our row and to the back. As the ceiling opened and the light of the stars pooled in, no one noticed the light from the open door as we ran through it. She took my hand and pulled me down the hall giggling hysterically until we reached her apartment

"Mom and dad work all day." She said breathlessly as she pressed her thumb into the keypad, opening the door and rushing us through. As soon as we were inside, she had me pressed up against the wall, kissing me frantically, pulling at my shirt. I resisted until, lips still locked, we stumbled into her room and locked the door behind us. My shirt fell to the floor and her lips found their way to the skin on my chest.

"God, Clarke. Your tits are spectacular." She moaned into them. I pushed her back onto her bed and pulled her leggings off, eyeing her grey panties hungrily. She laughed and pulled me down to the bed beside her before rolling herself over and kneeling on the floor by my feet. Her hands made quick work of my own pants and very suddenly she was mouthing me through my panties. "Shit! Emily!" She laughed again before tonguing aside the fabric and licking my slit.

"I wanna cum with you, Clarke." I nodded frantically and was sat up, neither of us really sure how to do this. After some shuffling and a few attempts to get in positions that felt right, we found ourselves straddling each other's thighs. She experimentally rolled her hips forward, rubbing her naked pussy against my leg. She moaned and, taking this as a good sign, I did the same. It was like nothing I'd ever felt. I was truly and completely aroused for the first time in my life and I began thrusting, in time with her. We got ourselves off on each other's skin, rubbing ourselves with, in all honesty, very little care for the other beyond the pleasure of their skin on our own. We kissed, hard, tongues flying and hands exploring. I pinched my own nipples, the way she had earlier and I hear her growl.

"That's so hot." Pushing me down, she readjusted herself so our clits would be touching and began thrusting again. "Touch yourself again, Clarke." She commanded me. I didn't even think about protesting before I rubbed at my nipples, pinching and twisting, anything to feel something like that. She leaned down and pulled my nipple into her mouth with a sharp pop. "Do that to me, Clarke." She commanded after a moment. I reached up and sucked her small breast into my lips and massaged it with my tongue. "Fuck." She swore.

"I want you to fuck me." I said. "Fill me up." She looked surprised that I had spoken, almost as though she had forgotten that I was a person and not some weird sort of sex simulator.

"Yeah. Whatever. I've got some dildos, let's 69." I grabbed at the drawers she was pointing to and pulled out the devices in question. I lay down and she hovered on top of me, her ass on the air not too far and over me. I took the dildo in my hand and cautiously stuck it in. She moaned and pushed herself back all the way on it. "Harder Clarke." She moaned. She slowly stuck the dildo inside me and halfheartedly pulsed it back and forth, far more excited about what I was doing with her nether regions.

After she came, she lay back, exhausted on the bed, swearing lazily and smiling. I hadn't orgasmed. But the dildo was still sticking out of me. I reached down and began to pump it. In and out. In and out. She noticed what I was doing and watched, grinning.

"Fuck that's hot. Keep masturbating, Clarke, I want to watch you." And watch me she did until I came on her dildo and fell back into peaceful afterglow myself.

* * *

"Clarke." His strangled voice broke me out of my pleasant daydream. "You can't just tell stories like that and… fuck Clarke. The thought of you… fuck." I looked up at Bellamy. His face was flushed and he was breathing hard. At some point during my story telling I had settled back, my ass on the couch, legs tented over his thighs, his arms still wrapped around me. Testing a theory playing around in the back of my head, I lowered my legs and felt his arousal. I could feel my own heavy breathing and I wondered what it would be like to have sex with Bellamy. (Why not?) A voice in my head asked. (He's your husband. If you are going to have sex, it may as well be with him.)

"Tell me about your first time." I said breathlessly, VERY aware of his hand creeping lower and lower on my back.

"Jenny Briggs. 17. Broom closet. It was absolute shit. I couldn't make her cum and I couldn't get there either with her aggressively hissing at me to do better."

"That sounds awful." I breathed out, not entirely sure what he'd just said.

"Yeah. Not like yours."

"Eh. It was okay. I think I can do better." I replied with a shrug, my eyes boring into his.

"Yeah?" Our breathing was coming out all too quickly now and his fingers were digging into my upper ass. _Oh God, yes._

"Oh yeah." I dove in, pulling his lips to mine and I could feel his groan of pleasure rumbling through his chest. I moved my legs and straddled him, feeling his rock hard erection against my hot, throbbing center.

"Clarke, are you sure?" He said, between kisses.

"Bellamy Blake." I whispered into his ear as his lips found my neck. "It's my wedding night. My husband had damned well better fuck me into fucking oblivion." With a predatory snarl that rushed straight to my core, turning me on even more, Bellamy lifted me up with one arm, held me firmly in place against his chest, and carried me to the bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Warning - Bellarke Smut:) Please review!**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 7**

Kissing Bellamy was like a drug. I could taste the heartbreak on his lips and yet with each moment my need for him grew exponentially. How he was holding me up with one arm was shocking. I knew how much I weighed. And yet one arm was bearing the entirety of my weight while the other's hand was woven into my hair, tugging gently on the golden strands. I had never had what I would consider 'rough sex' - and I certainly wouldn't call these tender tugs on my locks rough - but the thrill that ran down my backbone when he growled predatorily, the shock that raced across my skin as he tugged just a tad harder or nipped at my lower lip rather than just sucking it, made me think that perhaps it would be something to try in the future.

"God you look like sex personified." His low, gravelly voice murmured in my ear, accentuating his words by taking my earlobe between his teeth and nipping at it.

"Bellamy." I whimpered, my mind unable to find any other words. He all but threw me down on the bed and hovered over me, pulling his shirt off in one fluid motion. Had I not already been laying down I would have swooned. Is THAT what had been hiding behind this guard uniforms? His torso was perfectly sculpted, and after taking a (very long) look at his arms I understood his ability to carry me as though I was light as air a bit better. I reached up and ran my fingernails down his abs, needing to feel them, and reveling in the groan the action elicited from his throat. His hands reached down to rid me of the tee shirt I'd put on since arriving home and as it fell to the floor he sucked in a breath. Self-consciously I tried to cover myself with my hands but Bellamy grabbed my wrists and pinned them to the bed.

"Never," he growled, "try and hide yourself. You are utterly breathtaking." His sincerity took me by surprise and I found my own breath catching in my throat as I saw the honesty in his eyes. We paused for a moment, just breathing, staring into each other's eyes, and letting the moment sink in. Of course he was still Bellamy Blake, sassy little shit and proud of it, so the moment ended as soon as he smirked and winked. "Not to mention sexy as hell." I laughed out loud at the pure joy of this moment before he dived back in and cut me off with a searing kiss.

Soon enough we'd divested one another of our clothing and were kissing furiously, touching as much skin to skin as we possibly could. "Bellamy," I whined. "Bellamy I need you."

"Not yet." He said lightly. I froze.

"Don't be as tease." I growled, trying my best to sound intimidating but I was certain it came off far more spoiled brat than actual threat.

"Believe me, Princess. I fully plan on following through and getting my own pleasure from this. But as you're my wife and this is our wedding night, it makes sense to treat the princess like a Queen. Or maybe even a Goddess." I frowned in confusion as he continued kissing me, until I felt his lips leave my lips and begin traversing my neck. Lower and lower they crawled before stopping for a short detour at my breasts. Bellamy buried his face between them and moaned, grabbing as much flesh between his lips as he could and teasing me tantalizing with his tongue and teeth. My back arched at the stimulation, trying to somehow put more of myself into his mouth. He acquiesced my request and, grinning devilishly, sucked a pert, pink nipple between his lips, biting at it gently before he began to suck. His hand found my other breast and began to massage it deeply. The dual stimulation was incredible and I couldn't help but be a bit vocal about it.

"Fuck, Bell. Fucking shit! Don't stop!" His tongue began tracing patterns across my areola while his mouth continued to suck away and his right hand massaged my tit so hard I was sure I would have bruises tomorrow. "Shit Bell! Oh my god! Don't stop! Don't stop!" I was going to cum. I was going to cum without so much as a pinky up my pussy or a thumb pressed against my clit. Bellamy Blake was about to make me cum with boob play alone. "Shit Bell! I'm gonna-"

"No." He whispered, ceasing his ministrations. "Not yet." I cried out at the loss of him and was about to curse the day he was born until I felt a finger slowly tracing its way down my side. Dipping and arching with the flow of my body until it reached my hip, jutting out around the curve, his finger began sliding across my leg and to the inside of my right thigh. I was shivering in anticipation as it slowly slid up and up and up, before slowing to a stop when it touched my outer labia. I had always been a bit self-conscious about my pussy. My lips were a tad bigger than other girls I'd seen, and while no one had ever mentioned it or suggested they didn't care for it, I knew I looked different. But this thought barely crossed my mind before Bellamy put it completely out of my head by leaning down suddenly and burying his face in my center. His teeth and lips and tongue, gnashed against my lips and slit, causing me to cry out in wonder at the sensation I hadn't even known existed. My hand gripped his hair and held tightly, not pushing or pulling, just trying to find an anchor amidst the flow of sensations cascading across me.

When I came moments later, I screamed his name like a prayer on high, pulling at his hair, surely ripping through his carefully prepped locks and messing them up thoroughly. My back arched and I felt like I was floating. I lay back, panting.

"Holy fucking shit." My voice was high and airy and my breaths were coming out in spurts. "Bellamy. That was-"

"Was? You think I'm done with you yet Princess?" The grin that spread over my face was unreal and I let out a laugh of pure joy as he glided up my body until we were parallel, and kissed my neck happily. I could feel him, hard and pulsing against me and the sensation on my thigh made my own skin quiver in anticipation.

"Bellamy." I heard the word escape my lips in a moan before I knew I moved my lips.

"Clarke your skin tastes like a goddamned dream." His lips were latched onto my neck, sucking up a storm. I tasted a dream? He was…he was…he was perfection. The skin on his hands was rough but when I felt them caress me, the only sensation I was aware of was that of the goosebumps rising in the wake of his touch.

I wanted his cock in my mouth. That realization alone sent a bit of a thrill down my spine. I had given blow jobs before. It was always something to do to excite him, get him ready for me, but now…this desire was about me and what I wanted. And right now, I really, really wanted his cock in my mouth. I wanted him to fill me. With a primal snarl, I flipped him over and grabbed at his belt. It took me almost no time to divest him of his pants and underwear. I stared in awe as I caught a glimpse of him. He was rock hard and standing at attention. He was far thicker than any penis I'd seen…and I had just graduated medical school. He was 6 maybe 7 inches, but with a girth like that I was suddenly worried that he wasn't going to fit. In ANY of my orifices. And yet…my hands wrapped themselves around his base, causing him to grunt and his body to spasm. My lips found his thick head and my tongue darted out, wrapping around the tip. I pulled it into my mouth and moaned at the taste, the sensations it gave me. He tasted like sex. I sucked experimentally and reveled in the noises he was making for me. I moved my head forward and back, fitting four whole inches of his thick, hard cock into my mouth. He didn't thrust and I was thankful, as there was no way I could fit around his entire cock without gagging. A rush of excitement pooled in the pit of my stomach at the thought. Getting choked out by Bellamy's cock. Huh. I was discovering all kinds of new kinks tonight. Forcing myself not to back out, I thrust my mouth as far as I could, gagging as his tip hit the back of my throat.

"Holy shit! Clarke!" His gasped words were forced from his lips like a prayer. I pulled back to breath for a moment, making up for the lack of my lips by running my hands up and down his length with great fervor. "I want you to fuck my mouth." I said, breathlessly. "I want to choke on you." Bellamy looked like he was going to cum right then and there.

"Shit. Baby." He said. "I want to. Maybe next time." He grunted out. "I need to be inside you right fucking now. I need to be buried in that hot, wet cunt of yours." God but his voice did things to me.

"Mmmm. Yes!" I gasped at the thought. He pulled me onto our bed and grabbing one leg and throwing it over his hip, his tip found my entrance, hot, soaked, and quivering in anticipation. "Fuck me, Bell." I begged. He didn't waste time. In an instant I was impaled on him, balls deep. I nearly blacked out from the pure feeling of this moment. Eyes rolled back into my head I let out a scream and squeezed around him. He was so fucking deep, filling me so completely, stretching me like I had never been stretched. I was limp in his arms for a moment as I caught my breath. He waited until I was ready, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, quivering, ready to thrust, but waiting. When at last I had grown comfortable with him inside me and couldn't for another moment wait for him to move, I rocked my hips toward him. He growled slightly, but stayed steady, letting me set the pace. I moaned at the sensations of him inside me and began to rock harder and harder, thrusting up at him, fucking myself on his thick cock. It was as though a dam had broken inside him and he couldn't bear to be still another moment that he moved again. His hand pinned my hips to the bed and began to thrust into me. Our hips met with every movement and my skin shivered with sensation.

"Clarke." He groaned my name like a prayer and it was enough to send me over the edge. I screamed primally and gripped his shoulders so hard I knew I would leave marks. He followed me soon after and we collapsed, exhausted, onto each other, panting. After several moments wherein we caught our breaths, I slipped out to use the bathroom. Suddenly exhausted, I hurried with my business, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into my new, warm bed with my husband.

After doing just that, I settled in, instinctively curling around him. He held me in his arms as our breathing slowed and I found myself inhaling the scent of him, sweaty yet the hint of soap from a shower just before our wedding. Wedding. We were married. I'd just fucked my husband. Bellamy Blake. Well. My life was just full of surprises these days, I thought as I drifted off to sleep, using his chest as a pillow.

* * *

When I woke the next morning, my pillow had disappeared. The large bed built for two bodies rather than the small, single cots I was used to sleeping in, felt enormously empty as I lay in it alone. I grabbed my watch from the bedside shelf. 6:34AM Central American Time. Why in the hell, would Bellamy want to be up so early? (Especially when I knew for a fact it had been nearly 2:30 when we actually began the sleeping part of the evening.) Pulling open a drawer, I went in search of the clothing my mom had moved in the day before the wedding. I swallowed hard when I saw what lay in the drawer. Bellamy had one pair of underwear and two pairs of socks. One pair of casual trousers, and a tee shirt. Beside my mountain of leggings, tees, and multitude of undergarments, (When you had a chest like mine, you invested in bras. Don't judge me.) it looked…pitiful. I flushed with embarrassment. What must he have thought when he'd gotten dressed himself this morning? Assuming he was dressed and not roaming the apartment in the nude, of course. (Not that I'd mind the latter to be perfectly honest.) I hurried to the small closet and pushed aside the folding door. Two guard uniforms hung neat and pressed beside my surgery scrubs, and a few nicer dresses I owned. The heat on my cheeks heightened. Guards owned 3 uniforms. Given that there were two here, he must be wearing one, which meant he was also inhabiting a pair of underwear and socks. Which meant that Bellamy Blake owned three pairs of underwear, (there was a pair on the floor from last night…) the same number of sock pairs, three uniforms, and one casual outfit. And that was it. What on Earth did he think of my overflowing drawers? All of my…stuff? It seemed so inconsequential just then, all the things. I made good money as a doctor, but I knew that I only had the opportunity to study to be a doctor because I was from first or second station. Bellamy's life had been a lot harder than mine; he had worked so much harder than I had to get to where he was. I shivered. I was suddenly overcome with the need to make sure he knew I wasn't some stuck up, rich girl who needed all this stuff to be happy. I wanted him to think better of me. I needed him to know me, to see the real me.

But first, I'd have to find him.

* * *

A wolf whistle called through the air as I stepped into the guards' locker room. Heads spun around and men were craning their necks to get a look.

"You lost, Princess?" A voice I didn't recognize called out. I didn't like the nickname when it came from someone who wasn't Bellamy, I decided.

"Clarke?" I spun around and saw a guard I'd seen frequently in first walking towards me frowning. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, um…have you by chance seen Bellamy?"

"Bellamy Blake?" The guard shook his head "No, he doesn't report in for his shift for an hour or more yet."

"Oh. Right. I just…I mean he just forgot something at home this morning. I probably should have checked at his friends' places first. I'm not quite awake yet." I said with a laugh, trying not to blush and let on that I had no idea what my husband's schedule was or where he was likely to go when he left my rooms.

"Blake doesn't have any friends." A man said, snorting with derision. The silence in the room was growing palpable in its pure awkwardness.

"I'm gonna go." I said simply. "It was great to see you…" I trailed off, realizing I had no idea what the guard's name was. He grinned cheekily.

"Miller."

"Miller!" I bit my lip embarrassed. "See you around Miller."

"Sure thing Clarke!" I raced away from the guards' room, flushed with embarrassment. What must they think of me? That I don't care enough to know where my husband goes when he leaves my chambers? Or that he doesn't care enough to tell me where he goes? I still wasn't sure which was worse when I made it to Mrs. Blake's door. I knocked, my heart pounding in my chest. There was a short scuffle and I heard her call out, her voice a slightly higher pitch than usual. "Who is it?"

"Mrs. Blake? It's me. Clarke." I winced at how awkward I had just sounded. "I don't want to bother you, I only wondered if Bellamy was here. I needed to talk to him and they said at the guards' station that he wouldn't be in for a while yet. I thought maybe he might have visited you." The door suddenly swung open and Bellamy stood before me.

"Bellamy."

"Good morning Clarke." Shit. He sounded just as weird as I did. How did we go from the near magic that happened last night to…this?"

"You weren't there when I woke up."

"Sorry. I woke early and wanted to stretch my legs."

"Of course, I'm sorry. That sounded like I was saying…that is I don't want you to think that…it's not that I need to know where you are all the time or anything. This is ridiculous of me, I'm so sorry, I just wanted to tell you something and you were gone and I thought I'd go find you but now it seems so silly."

"It's fine." He said simply. "What did you need to tell me?" I glanced nervously at my mother in law. Obviously I was expected to do this in front of an audience. Mrs. Blake smiled, seeming to understand.

"I think what Clarke had in mind was a bit more private, Bell. Why don't you two take a nice morning walk?" Bellamy nodded instantly and walked over to hug his mom. He pulled her tight and murmured something quietly in her ear. Mrs. Blake nodded and the two of us stepped out, Bellamy closing the door tightly behind us. He started at a brisk pace. I was tall, but my legs had nothing on the lengthy limbs Bellamy possessed. I jogged every few steps to keep up with him.

"What's up Clarke? Did you need something?" I winced at the question. I had just pulled him away from his mother before he headed to work to… what? Reassure him that I wasn't at spoiled rich girl? Yes. Because wanting him at my beck and call to tell him such things didn't prove something else entirely.

"God, I feel so stupid right now." I muttered. "I woke up this morning and… I'm probably still half asleep, really. That's why-" Bellamy stopped in his tracks and, still trying to keep up with the breakneck speed he'd been booking away at, I hurtled past him. I must have overcorrected because bumbling Clarke, moments later I ended up heading in a distinct trajectory known as "floor bound". As usual, Bellamy proved himself to be… perfect, catching me and pulling me tightly to his chest.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"No, not the falling. The way you're talking, are you okay?" I took a deep breath.

"It woke up and I couldn't find you and I went to put some clothes on as you left me in a distinct state of undress," If I thought him capable of smirking in pride, I'd swear that's what that slight upturn of his lips was. "Anyway, I went to get dressed and I opened up our drawers and there's all my... stuff, overflowing everything and next to it,"

"It's not much, I know." The smile was gone now, as usual, it only made the briefest of appearances on his face.

"Clarke I promise you. I can provide for us."

"Oh my G- Bellamy no! That's not what I- oh God. I swear I never for a second questioned you or anything, I just-"

"My mom doesn't make much. Sewing. Not when the first three stations only buy anything extra they want from that store in Second. So I've been providing for her, that's all. I went by this morning to give her my last paycheck. I've never needed much so it was just simpler to give everything extra to her but we both agreed that now that I'm married things will have to be different. Don't worry about it, okay? I know you've got a bit of a bleeding heart, so let me assure you, mom's actually been getting notes from people who saw your dress at your wedding for custom clothes made out of shit that was heading for garbage launch. She's going to be just fine."

"The hell I'm not going to worry about it! Bellamy Blake! I am your wife! Do not think your mother, my new mother-in-law, is none of my concern! I came down here to reassure you… no. To make sure you understood that money and all of that… stuff, wasn't important to me. My mom and Fox, they give me a ton of clothes, but I don't need any of that to be happy. I just want a husband who gives a shit about me. And as far as providing for me, I hope you don't have some archaic notion that you are supposed to provide while I sit home alone. I have a damn good job and I am very aware that I only have that opportunity because of where I live and who my parents are, but that just means I'm going to work all the harder to be worthy of it. I make more than enough money for the two of us and my parents do plenty well on their own so if there is something that my new mom needs, be it company or rations or ANYthing, I want to be able to help provide it for her!" I took a breath, angrily, watching his eyes bore into mine, his lips laughing at me in the form of a tightly pressed together almost smile.

"What?" I asked irritably.

"I was right."

"No you weren't!" I yelled. "That's literally the point of this entire rant!"

"No. I was. My wife is one of the biggest bleeding heart's I have ever met. You feel so badly that you had an opportunity other people didn't that you would work yourself to death in order for people to think you deserved it. You've met my mother maybe twice ever and yet you want to be as close to her as your real mother, and to top it all off, you ran around this entire Ark with your shirt on backwards just to make sure that I didn't think you were a spoiled little rich kid." I stared at him speechlessly for a moment before glancing down to see that my red tee was indeed on backwards.

"Jokes on you," I mumbled embarrassed at his proclamation. "All your colleagues saw me looking like a crazy person and now they're gonna know that an all knowing test matched you with someone who has lost at least part of their sanity." His grin was there in full bore now as he swept me into a tight embrace and planted a firm, chaste kiss on my lips.

"You're right. They're all going to know that I married the most beautiful, hottest, kindest, and smartest woman on the Ark, and did something to her last night that made her so unhinged that she wandered around the Ark _desperate_ for me at the earliest hours of the morning without the common sense to glance in a mirror before she left the apartment, God knows you've got enough of them. Darling, I'm going to be a legend." A soft laugh echoed down the hallway and I spun around to see Miller and two other guards standing there watching the whole affair.

"You knew they were standing there." I accused him haughtily. He nodded and winked, his thick arms lifting me up into the air, kissing me soundly before setting me down and saluting me, traipsing off to his reporting station. He turned, walking backwards away from me for a moment.

"Can I still meet you for lunch today?" He called out. I nearly nodded but then remembered my day.

"I can't, I'm picking up an extra shift in Factory Station They're short staffed."

"You don't work Factory Station." He commented, his brow furrowed.

"Yeah but my arrogant husband's from there so when they said they needed help I figured it was as good an opportunity as any to dig up some dirt so I could fight as dirty as he does." He winked again, and nodded.

"I'm done with my shift around 4." He told me.

"Well be a good little housewife and have dinner on for me when I get home at 6, honey." I said loudly. He nodded.

"Of course, dear." I did my best to keep myself from checking out the figure he cut in his uniform.

Evidently my best was not good enough because I was still thinking about it when I made my way into work an hour later.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: There's also some smut up in here...**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 8**

"Hey Clarke," My dad's assistant, Raven waved at me from across the hallway. "Your dad didn't say you were coming to visit him."

"I'm not, actually. I'm picking up an extra shift down here. Short staffed and all."

"Aha. Gotcha. Well you should stop in to say hi! He just did something brilliant as usual and found a way to recycle air more efficiently. Less energy used up, you know?" I nodded but didn't promise anything. Other than our brief moment before my wedding yesterday, it hadn't been normal between us since my assignment.

"He misses you." She added softly. "Talks about you a lot. He's really proud, but he misses you."

"Then he should talk to me. It's not like I went anywhere, we're less than a 5 minute walk from his and mom's unit."

"I don't know what happened, Clarke, I just know your dad misses you." I nodded.

"Thanks Raven. I got to get to work. See you around."

"Sure thing Clarke." Raven and I might be the weirdest friends ever. I'd dated her boyfriend. (Not knowing, obviously.) She'd been locked up a week before her 17th birthday and they'd both thought she was going to be floated. I had no idea she existed. I had just broken up with Wells and, in all honesty, was looking for comfort and rebellion all mixed up. Enter Finn. We… well. I'm sure anyone could guess what happened next. Only she didn't get floated because she was a bonefied genius and had tested off the charts as an engineer. That's when we met. That's also when she met my father, having come over to yell also me, only to find me sobbing, having had no idea about her. Long story short, after a good long while, she still dated Finn, she and I were friends (though I avoided Finn Collins like the plague) and, after spending half an hour in her presence, my father hired her on the spot. Weirdest friends ever.

* * *

I didn't go see my dad. It was… too weird. I stopped by mom's triage unit before heading back to my apartment and handed in my reports. We chatted quickly before agreeing to meet for lunch later this week, and, after much cajoling, dinner with dad and Bellamy. After punching in and opening the door I found myself being swept up by a pair of strong arms, pulling me in for a hug and kissing my cheek.

"Honey, I'm home." I said breathlessly, holding onto his arms. One hand crept up and ran through his curls. He'd showered since his shift and his gelled back hair had given way to the messy, soft locks that I loved so much.

"Thank God." He replied with a rare grin. (I'd never seen one directed at anyone else, and I'd never seen one last terribly long.) "You're late and I've been so bored. Dinner's ready." I glanced into the kitchen. Two rations sat out steaming on the counter.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. He pulled his head back from our embrace, his brow furrowed.

"May I ask why two simple leftover rations have made you so excited?"

"I skipped breakfast and work was crazy so I forgot about lunch. I'm starving."

"You- you what? Clarke, what happened to we can afford stuff? We have leftovers from the wedding. You don't have to skip rations."

"Obviously, I just forgot."

"Clarke too many people don't have rations to eat. My wife does. Promise me you'll eat." I flushed at his seriousness.  
"If promise I'll try to remember. I was really excited about something, really. I forgot." I grinned. "Maybe I can tell you about it while your hungry wife eats?" He nodded. "Sooooo..." I drawled out the word excitedly. "I made some people run some new tests today. Being a fancy doctor has some perks and all."

"What kind of tests?" He asked politely, taking a sip of water.

"Air quality tests. After circulation." He froze and looked at me.

"You mean-"

"There are particles in the air that mix with the oxygen in factory station. I've written a request for a Maintenance Operation. My mom and Jackson both signed off on it and my mom's showing it to my dad tonight. If she and the Chief Engineer sign off on it they literally can't say no." A piece of food slipped off the end of his fork and hit our counter with a resounding splat. He stared at me, something unreadable in his eyes. I fidgeted in my seat.

"I thought you'd be pleased." I muttered, suddenly nervous, taking a bite.

"I told you about that yesterday." He muttered quietly.

"Yeah." I confirmed.

"And you've already…"

"People are getting sick Bellamy, I'm not about to wait around for a convenient time to take action. It had to get done today. Hell it should have been done weeks ago." He swallowed thickly and nodded.

"I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Everything I've ever thought about you."

"What do you mean?" I laughed nervously.

"I was aware of you, before I mean. My first few shifts were in First. I'd seen you, years ago really. But somehow, despite my watching over you, I never really saw you. I saw your wealth. I saw your parents. I saw your friends. I never saw you. You are, without a doubt, one of the most caring people I've ever met." I snorted.

"Hardly. People were getting sick, maybe dying because of something I could prevent. That's not a hard decision to make."

"Clarke, it's more than that, it's-"

"I was 15 feet from my dad today. And I went out of my way to avoid seeing him. He's been distant for weeks and instead of going to talk to him and bridge that gap, I went out of my way to hide like the coward I am."

"You are many things, Clarke Griffin. But you are not a coward."

"Blake."

"Yes?"

"My name, is not Clarke Griffin. My name is Clarke Abagail Blake and if my husband can't be bothered to get it right, I'm not sure how well I can expect the rest of the Ark to manage."

"Say it again."

"What?"

"The part where you call yourself Blake or the part where you call me your husband, I don't care which." I stood up and took his hand, leading us to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" He asked, nervously.

"I have a fairly vivid idea of where this is going, and I'm going to brush my teeth first."

"Of course you are." He said. But his voice held as much anticipation as mine did.

Two minutes later, our toothbrushes clattered into the sink, having served their purpose, and I could taste the mint on his breath as our tongues battled it out, his hands digging into my hips. He sat down on a chair, mostly because of my hands pushing him, and I sat astride him, wrapping my legs around him, kissing him frantically. I pulled at his shirt, undoing buttons as fast as I could.

"Tell me something." I begged him, wanting to hear his voice so desperately my ears were practically twitching.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Anything," I breathed. I could feel his grin against my lips and I tugged gently on his hair. "I adore your voice." I admitted after his pause. "It… does things to me."

"You do things to me." He whispered into my ear, his lips moving from my mouth to my neck. "I've always known you were beautiful. Always. Well before I should have looked at a girl out of my league and underage at the time, you caught my eye. How could you not? And when I found out you were meant to be mine I nearly lost my damned mind. You were far too much for me, far more than I could have hoped for, far more than I deserve. You are like a dream to me. Coming home to you is like falling blissfully asleep. Kissing you is like taking a sip of cool refreshing water after a long day of work. Hell, Clarke, I imagined kissing you, but this? It's nothing like-"

"When did you imagine kissing me?" I asked suddenly. I pulled my head back stopping his words from tickling my neck as they exited his lips, my eyes meeting his. He flushed, but held my gaze.

"We were getting to know each other, at those lunches you arranged, and one of your fancy First station friends was looking at me like I was a pet that had jumped up onto the couch. You met their gaze and took my hand, glaring the whole while, never once stopping our conversation. They looked so utterly flustered that for half a second I wondered what they would do if I pulled you into my lap right then and there and kissed you thoroughly." I shivered at the thought. "I pushed the thought away, knew that most arranged couples who didn't date beforehand didn't get romantic for months after they married. But the thoughts… God Clarke. The thoughts of what I wanted to do to you… after that they kept coming, unbidden."

"Tell me." I breathed before attaching my lips to his neck.

"I wanted to kiss every inch of your skin until you begged me to take you. I wanted to run my hands through your silky hair, murmuring your name over and over in your ear, telling you that you were mine and I was yours." He pulled me tightly against him, our hips pressing tightly together. "I wanted to mark your skin with my lips, everywhere, so that even when you were dressed, people could see where my lips had claimed you and know you were mine."

"You're archaic." I murmured against him, my heart racing more and more with every word.

"Is that why you've begun to thrust against me?" He asked his own hips reaching out to meet mine.

"Do it."

"What?" He asked, his mind muddled.

"All those things you wanted to do to me. Do them." His breath hitched and for a moment, nothing between us changed. Then, all of a sudden, those big strong arms lifted me up and carried me to our bed. My clothes were quickly set aside and he kneeled at my side.

"Don't move a muscle." He commanded lowly. His lips met mine and I knew that he truly was about to do every single thing he'd ever dreamed of doing.

* * *

"Five times." I muttered sleepily. (More for me, but after some of the noises and exclamations I'd been making, his ego really didn't need more petting.) "That's not normal, I'm sure of it."

"Is don't know, honey, I'll ask around."

"Your smugness at the thought of spreading that around is plenty of an answer for me. Fox was right to pray for you."

"Pray for me?" He asked.

"Not on your behalf, mind you. I literally mean for you. When you got called up, she was whispering, begging God that the two of you had been matched."

"Oh really now?" He asked, grinning, turning over to face me. His hand traced the bones in my arm as we spoke. "Fox thinks I'm a fox, is that it?"

"She got over it pretty quickly, if you ask me."

"Too bad her almost husband barely pays any attention to her." I frowned.

"What do you mean? She said they were doing great." He snorted in derision.

"She pays him almost as much attention as he does himself." I frowned.

"I'm a bad friend. I haven't been paying much attention."

"That's normal, Clarke. People get distracted when their lives change drastically. I would count marrying, moving, and what sounds like a pretty big fight with your dad all in that category." He pulled me tightly to him, my back pressed against his chest comfortably.

"Do you know why he's upset? I haven't spoken to him much, but when I came to ask his blessing and ask about the dress he seemed to adore everything you've ever done. That was a man utterly besotted by his daughter."

"Ask his blessing?" I asked.

"He didn't tell you? I came by, after we started having lunch. We were sort of dating and I'd asked you to marry me, and I hadn't ever asked for his blessing. I told him that I welcomed any questions he had for me, that I knew I wasn't well known, especially among his peers, but that I would prove myself to him and to you and that I welcomed our becoming family. He grilled me for over an hour."

"He what?"

"Asked me all about my family and what kind of man I was."

"He was mad at me. I had chosen to be a doctor, not an engineer and was following in mom's footsteps instead of his. We weren't really talking then."

"He's not mad at you for becoming a doctor."

"What do you mean?"

"He was proud as punch. Kept bringing it up. He said he always knew you'd be a doctor and he thought you'd be even better than your mom, because she cared about the people but when she got into the medical aspect of it, she disappeared into the medicine. You loved the medicine because it allowed you to help the people. He said he wished you could have grown up on earth because maybe then you could be an artist. He thought you were an amazing artist." I couldn't reply. I didn't have the words.

"Is something wrong?" Bell asked nervously. "Should I not have said-"

"It's not that." I reassured him. "I just… I didn't know he felt that way. And now I have no idea why he's mad at me."

"Only one way to find out."

"And what's that?"

"You have to talk to him Clarke."

* * *

Two weeks of finding our routine and getting instep with one another (and God some AMAZING sex) later, Bellamy put on a new shirt his mother had made him and his only pair of casual pants, (I was working on that) and followed me to my parents unit. I had put off our dinner five times now, using Bellamy's unpredictable hours and huge commitment as an Officer quickly rising through the ranks as an excuse. I would have done that again tonight had Bellamy not overheard my excuse and reminded me loudly so that my mother could clearly hear me over the comms, that he had been able to change his shift and he was available tonight. My mother had all but shrieked in joy. So now I was standing in front of my parents' door, half ready to pass out at a moment's notice in pure fear.

I was fidgeting nervously and it was partly his calming voice, partly the way his fingers played gently with mine that made me breathe again. He knocked on the door when we arrived, lowering his hand to hold mine (where it should be, in my mind,) the other holding onto a small hostess gift for my mother. She answered the door, her eyes doing their best not to look to where our hands were linked. Failing, but hey, she tried. I stepped forward into her hug, greeting her.

"Clarke." She breathed out the words, emotionally. "It's been forever."

"Mom, I saw you this morning at work." I managed to squeeze the words out despite her embrace, tight around my lungs.

"You haven't been home in forever."

"I'm afraid that's partly my fault, Mrs. Griffin." Bellamy spoke smoothly. "Getting our work schedules to line up has been a bit of a trick what with my impending promotion and all."

"Promotion? That sounds exciting. You'll have to tell us all about it over dinner." My mother and husband shared a hug that must have been awkward, but Bellamy was making quite the effort to ingratiate himself with my family. He was doing it for me, I knew that. If there was one thing that I had learned about Bellamy Blake that had surprised me, it was how all important family was to him.

"This is for you." He said, handing her the box he'd been clutching. "It's nothing much, just to say thank, you for having us over."

"Oh how silly! Of course both of you are welcome over any time, no need for gifts!" Her words were meant to reassure him otherwise, but her tone spoke greatly of being pleased by the gesture. "Come in, your father's watching the game with the Jahas." I stiffened. On one hand, it would be nice to have that buffer between my dad and me, on the other… I would still very likely be forced to talk to him. And I was not ready for that. If it wasn't my career choice that bothered him, why on Earth was he suddenly so… distant? Angry?

"The Jahas are here?" Bellamy whispered as we made our way through the entrance.

"Mom said family dinner, I assumed she just meant us but I guess she meant everyone." He snorted a bit and I cringed at not having prepared him for this ahead of time. The Jaha family made Bellamy very uncomfortable for some reason. I suspected his floated father for one thing. That was before Jaha was elected but still, government is government and all that. Also given everyone's expectation for me to marry Wells, that relationship wasn't exactly one Bell was looking forward to pursuing.

"Clarke!" Thelonious Jaha grinned at me as he swept me up in a hug.

"Uncle Jaha!" I returned, "You remember Bellamy."

"Remember him? It seems I can't get away from him these days. No fewer than four head guards have come to me separately this week and suggested this young man to fill the empty spot now that Rodesky is stepping down. I've been hearing the name Bellamy Blake all week!"

"Four?" I could hear the hope in Bellamy's voice. The promotion was a bit of a sore spot for him. On one hand, he wanted it and he most certainly deserved it, but on the other, he had been sure one particular guard had put him up for it, a man whose name escaped me at the moment who was, from what I could gather from his unfocused rants, sort of seeing his mother, but never really treat her well. Bellamy disliked the man immensely and didn't want to be beholden to him in anyway. I squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

"Well if you ask me, he certainly deserves it." I said firmly. "Puts in a lot of hours and somehow even more work and still manages to diffuse tense situations on his off time."

"A recommendation from the Chancellor's God daughter." Wells teased jovial as he stepped into the room. "However did you manage to swing such a thing?" He held out his hand. "Hey! We've never officially met, your wedding day being a bit hectic and all. Wells Jaha."

"Bellamy Blake." Bell shook his hand but the warmth I was so used to seeing in his eyes was missing. Wells took it all in stride and nodded towards the living room.

"They're watching the Barcelona Madrid game, 2101 EuroCup again." He said with an eye roll. You don't get in there and your dad may break something. They're almost through the third quarter."

"When Barce's goalie blocks the shot of a lifetime with his feet and kicks it straight to his center forward who was completely unblocked, allowing him to tie up and change the trajectory of the whole season?" Bellamy asked excitedly. Wells frowned.

"Of course you married a Barcelona fan. The only other one on this whole damn Ark, probably."

"Nah, most of the satellite stations are Barcelona fans." Bell said with a grin. "Babe we can't miss that save, not to mention the amazing shot that follows." He's grabbed my hand and pulled me after him. Normally I'd be the one rushing in to see one of my favorite plays of all time. Except my dad was in there. Which, if you asked me, was half the reason Bellamy was dragging me so quickly.

"You've got to do it eventually, Blake." He said, poking me gently, using the new nickname, he knew I liked. "Come on. Stand tall. Be brave."

"I'm not brave." I insisted stubbornly.

"Don't make me laugh. You're one of the bravest people I know." He said, his voice completely sincere. "Mr. Griffin!" He said heartily as we stepped in, reaching out his hand to my dad. "It's good to see you! It has been far too long."

"Bellamy." My dad smiled, rising to his feet to greet Bell. "How's work?"

"Busy, sir. But that's the way I like it." My dad and Bell laughed, clearly privy to some inside joke I wasn't a part of.

"Thank you very much for having us over sir, I've been looking forward to dinner for some time." Bell added.

"Of course!" He lowered his voice. "I apologize if the additional guests weren't what you were hoping for."

"Nothing I can't handle sir."

"I never doubted you for a second, my man." What in the hell was I watching?

"Could you excuse me for a moment? I'm going to run and use your facilities." Strategic bastard. Dad and I were alone now, staring at each other, both waiting for the other to move first.

"Hey Cece," he said quietly. I couldn't hold myself back. I rushed into his arms and wrapped myself up in his hug.

"Hey daddy."

"I've missed you kiddo."

"I've missed you so much."

"I've sorry. I know I've been... I won't. Not anymore okay? Just… are you okay? With Bellamy, I mean? It wasn't what you wanted, I know, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Okay? Dad I'm great. I didn't want to marry Wells and deep down I've always known that. We love each other, but we're not in love. And Bell…" I trailed off, glancing around to make sure we were alone. "Dad I haven't even known him two months but I think… I think I'm falling in love with him." He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"That's all I've ever wanted for you baby."

"What's going on in here?" Wells asked as he and his dad tromped in.

"Next play I think." My dad said forlornly. "Why did we watch this game again?"

"Because it's Clarke's favorite and you insisted." Jaha laughed at him. "Clarke your mother wanted to see you. She's in the kitchen with Bellamy." I hurried off to join them and found mom, mouth agape, looking at Bellamy's gift.

"Bellamy, this is stunning!"

"My mother makes them." He said proudly. "Upcycling, she calls it. She takes stuff headed for the trash heap and makes them functional again." Bellamy had chosen an ornament that had been made out of twisted bits and bobs of metal, forming a gold and silver colored rose. I had wanted to pay her for the beautiful piece but she had insisted that family didn't pay. She was truly an amazing woman. I had met with her for coffee a few times now, usually Monday mornings, and in all honesty, I was really hoping we could become quite close. She obviously meant a lot to Bell and she was quite the inspiration to me. Aurora Blake was… something else.

"It's just gorgeous." She gushed, examining it. "Thank you, dear!" She hugged Bellamy and opened her lips to speak, cut off by a roar from the living room.

"Clarke!" Wells bellowed. "It's starting!" She shook her head.

"Off you two go, they'll never forgive you if you miss this." Bell grinned and rushed off, I only paused to hug her.

"Bell's nervous." I told her quietly. "Family is really important to him and he really wants to be a part of ours."

"The two of you… you're quite close, Clarke. You've known each other a handful of weeks and yet you look to one another for reactions on everything. You act like a couple who've been together for decades, it's… I didn't expect the two of you to be like this is all." She said, looking at me intently.

"We just… we fit mom. I can't explain it. We just fit."

"Clarke, it's happening!"

"Go," she said with a smile. "We'll talk later." I smiled gratefully, rushing off to watch the game. With so many people, the couch and side chair were full. Bell grinned up at me and tugged my arm, pulling me into his lap. I curled up on top of him, one hand winding itself within his, the other fiddling with his shirt collar. His spare hand found a tendril of my hair and began to play with it.

 _Real Madrid is streaking down the field, they've passed the defenders, the only thing between them and the point they'll need to win this game is the Rafael Hernandez, Barcelona's unpredictable goalie. With less than a minute left in the game, Barcelona won't have time to tie up a two point deficit. The fate of the EuroCup rests with Hernandez._

"I can't watch." My dad said, his eyes still raptly staring at the TV.

"One of the most disappointing moments in all of sports history." Jaha agreed.

"Watch it boys, the wife and I are about to celebrate madly, and she won't take kindly to your ruining our buzz."

"Tell me he's not…" Jaha began accusatorially. Wells took over from there.

"Clarke found herself a genuine Barcelona fan." A series of boos from the boys in the room quietly preceded the screams, both from the crowd and from Bellamy and I as we both leaped up and cheered madly, as Hernandez kicked the ball to Edgerton, who made a mad dash towards the goal, scoring and sending the fate of the game into win by penalty kicks. Our screams sounded again when Renaldo shot a perfect ball into the upper right hand corner of the net, Real Madrid's goalie leaping the other way entirely.

"I take it by those screams that the game is done."

"Yes!" I cheered gleefully. "The underdog for the win! Barcelona ends nearly a 70 year losing streak by barely qualifying for the EuroCup and winning every game of the cup!" Bellamy lifted me into the air and spun me around, the pair of us cheering like hooligans as the rest of my family watched, equal parts disappointed and amused.

"Great because dinner is ready."

* * *

"You and your dad seemed good." Bellamy commented as we made our way home.

"Yeah. He apologized and said it would be better between us."

"But…" he prompted, knowingly.

"I asked him a few times. He wouldn't respond, he just… shut down I guess. He wouldn't tell me why he was upset and I get the feeling he's still mad about something."

"It's a start though, Blake." I nodded.

"Yeah. It's a start. You did good though!" I exclaimed, hugging him tightly to my side. "All those first stationers and you held your own without hitting anyone!"

"I was a bit surprised,"

"By what, how much fun you actually had with Wells?" I asked with a grin.

"Sort of. I guess... I just thought I'd resent him more. But now.. I mean he's still a bit proper and stereo First Station for me, but he's not so bad." He admitted. "Still don't love him." He insisted more gruffly. "But that's not really his fault."

"Why, then?"

"People talk. They think he should have been your husband." I stiffened.

"They're wrong." I insisted.

"Yeah." He pressed a kiss to my temple. "But until they figure that out, I'm going to resent him a little bit." He typed in our code and held the door to let me in. It closed behind him and I pushed him up against it and tilted his chin down so he had to look straight into my eyes.

"They're wrong, Bell. You know that. I know that. And even Wells knows that. Don't for a second, think I would be with anyone else."

"You might have been, if someone else read your tests and decided that the Ark would have been better off with you and Wells instead of you and me."

"I'd have said no." He rolled his eyes at my proclamation.

"You didn't know me, Clarke. You don't have to say that. You didn't owe me anything."

"No, but I owe me something. That morning I woke up and burst into tears. I nearly threw up half a dozen times and I honestly wished someone would just float me. I was sick with worry and anger and nerves and just before they called your name, Wells stands up and takes my hand and I was shaking like a leaf. I wanted to run, Bell. I wanted to run and never stop. And then they didn't say Wells Jaha. They said Bellamy Blake. And it was like I had been drowning and I had been pulled up for air. He sat down and I thanked God for your name having been called and then it was like… I had been walking around drunk and dizzy and all of a sudden the Ark was back on its axis. All of a sudden everything was okay again. If Wells had asked me to marry him, I don't think I could have said yes to him."

"Kids are a powerful motivator Clarke. Any accidental pregnancy would require you to kill your own child or be floated."

"I wouldn't want Wells' child Bellamy." He took my hand and rubbed circles on my thumb.

"Would you want mine?" He asked quietly.

"What?" I asked, not sure if I heard him right.

"I don't mean now, of course, there's so much… I mean the process of getting that approved and monitored, I mean it's a lot to ask. Becca's AI has to monitor the conception of such a child for goodness sake, I just mean… no. If this was Earth, and we were just, normal people, would you want to have a baby with me?"

"It's probably silly of me, but I've never really thought about it." I admitted. He nodded understandingly. "Yes."

"You don't have to- it was silly of me to ask and I-"

"If this was Earth, I would want to have your baby Bell." I flushed. "More than one, actually, if this was Earth. Family, it's such a part of who we are, our families. You especially. I can see you with a handful of kids, running around, playing. I wish I could give you a big family, Bell. You are gonna be such an amazing dad, I wish you could have that."

"Let's pretend." He whispered, his eyes closing. I could have sworn I saw a tear in the corner of one as they shut. "If we went to Earth, tell me about our lives there." We sat down on our couch, his eyes closed, me in his lap, my hands playing gently with his hair.

"We would live in the woods somewhere, you would never gel your hair and it would always be curly and crazy, just how I like it. I'd learn how to be a wildling doctor, taking care of all our neighbors. You would be a great hunter, and we'd live in a house that we built up in a tree somewhere. We'd have our first kid but we wouldn't find out what gender they were because it wouldn't matter." I kissed his eyelid.

"What do you want it to be, knowing that we'll have more?" He inhaled sharply, grinning.

"A girl. Let's start with a girl."

"A girl it is. What shall we name her? Something Old World, I think. Historical." He nodded thoroughly.

"Cleopatra." He suggested.

"Cleo for short." He nodded. "I'd want to wait a bit before the next one, take some time for us to learn about being parents. But by the time she's two I want another one." Bellamy pulled me to his chest and held me tightly.

"Another girl." He said. "Cleo deserves a sister."

"I want a boy next!" I insisted. "She needs a brother reasonably close in age to beat off all her potential suitors. She going to look just like you so she's going to be gorgeous."

"If she looks like me I want one that looks like you." He insisted. "Another daughter."

"Twins then." I said, rolling my eyes at the compromise. "A boy who looks like you and a girl who looks like me this time."

"Marc. Let's name the boy Marc."

"I like it. And the girl?"

"You can chose."

"Alexandra. After you." He held me tightly and I could feel his breaths coming out erratically now. He was crying. He really wanted this. I sighed. God I wish I could give it to him.

"Thank you." He said quietly.

"I want one more." He kissed my brow.

"You do?"

"Four or five. That way if they each make two or three friends we can play an entire soccer game."

"Four or five?" His voice cracks. "You'd be pregnant four or five times then?" He asked happily.

"Of course not!" I admonished him teasingly. If Marc and Alexandra are twins that would only be one pregnancy. So I'd be pregnant three or four times."

"Mmm." He said, his hands rubbing my back.

"I can just picture you pregnant." He said softly. You would be so beautiful Clarke." I was surprised to learn I was crying as a tear dripped onto his shirt.

"Sons." I said. "After Alexandra. All boys."

"Leonardo." He said. "I want one Leo."

"And if we have a fifth?"

"Raphael."

"For the painter or the soccer player?" I asked wryly.

"Does it matter?"

"Cleo, Marc, Alexandra, Leo and Raphael." I listed off. "A big family."

"A big family." He repeated his voice thick with emotion.

"Bell, I wish with all my heart I could give that to you."

"Don't stop yet."

"Stop what."

"Pretending." I smiled sadly.

"We're on Earth Bellamy. We're in our house in the woods. Cleo's asleep." He stood up slowly, still holding me in his arms, my legs wrapping around his hips.

"We're all alone then." He said, his voice growing heavy with lust.

"All alone."

"Cleo's asleep you say?" I grinned.

"At your mom's place, actually. She fell asleep after dinner so Aurora offered to watch her tonight. We're all alone."

"Well it's like we said, she needs a brother."

"And a sister." I agreed.

"To start with yes."

"No pesky contraceptive devices." I shook my head.

"Just you and me."

"Princess," he whispered.

"I want you so badly, baby." I murmured, reaching forward to kiss his neck. He tasted like ginger and I shivered at the familiar flavor. It tasted like him and it turned me on like I couldn't explain.

"Me." He muttered to himself.

"You." I swore against his skin. "You and no one else." I kissed his skin like I owned it and he carried me to our bed where he lay me down and began to divest us both of our clothing. "I'm yours," I promised, having learned he liked to be reminded of that, liked to be reminded that we were together, and that we would be, just us, forever. "You're mine and I'm yours." His tip found my entrance but he wasn't about to enter yet. He never did, not 'til I was drenched and begging. It wasn't out of malice or a power trip, he knew his own size and he knew he could hurt me. But our fantasy was slipping away, it didn't feel real enough and that broke my heart. I needed it to feel real. I needed to feel. I needed him to fuck me now, before my body was ready, the pain that I relished was so close I could almost feel it.  
I bit his earlobe between my teeth, massaging it with my tongue. I used my legs to pull him as close as he'd let me.

"Bellamy," I begged with his name. "Please." He attacked my breasts with his mouth, nipping and sucking and rubbing them, just the way I liked it. I was getting wet fast but I didn't want that. I knew how I could make him need me just as badly: by telling him the truth. It was terrifying, but my need to pretend I could give him the happiness he gave me was overwhelming my fear."Bellamy," I whispered, holding him tightly. "Bell, I'm falling in love with you." He froze, his eyes meeting mine. I could see his response reflected in his eyes. Knowing it was enough, I didn't need to hear it. I pulled him forward and kissed him as passionately as I knew how. He responded with a fervor that both terrified and thrilled me. I thrust my hips into his and he couldn't stop himself. He plunged into me, making me scream out. He stuttered his pace, forcing himself to stop (though I proudly noted that it took a moment and a great deal of effort on his part to do so).

"I'm sorry, princess." He said, panting. "I didn't mean."

"Good God!" I swore at him. "Don't stop."

"Yeah?" He asked excitedly. I rolled my body into him and he cursed lowly.

"Please Bell," I begged. "Hard."

"I'm going to babe." He promised.

"Fill me up," his hips collided with mine, thrusting up into me, his body framing mine. "I'm desperate for you."

"God, I need you Clarke."

"I'm need you too Bell." He grunted in response, holding me tightly. "I'm going to find a way to give you that Bell, I swear. I'm going to find a way to give you a big family. You, me, and nearly half a dozen kids."

"Don't make promises like that, Clarke."

"I don't mean it lightly. I want you and every child you can give me and so help me God I will find a way."

"Oh shit right there," he cursed as I grabbed his muscular ass. "What do I need to do to help you with your crazy plans, Princess? Whatever you want, I'm on your side of the rebellion."

"Just knock me up Bell."

"Fuck." His thrusting increased almost tenfold as he heard me. "Say it again." I closed my eyes and prayed that one day he would have his small horde of children.

"Fuck me, Bell. Knock me up. I want your baby."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Shit's about to go down. Fasten your seat belts.**

* * *

 **CHAPTER 9**

"So you're saying that Earth might already be livable and we're staying up here for no good reason."

"In simple terms I suppose so," my dad's partner Sinclair said, nodding. "Although I'd say that the possibility of me being wrong is a pretty good reason." He chuckled.

"How would we test that theory?"

"We already have, actually, and hypothetically the readings the probe sent back up here to the Ark didn't actually dispute this theory, but there won't be any absolute data or knowledge of the situation until we send down humans."

"And when might that be?"

"Clarke," my dad interrupted. "This is just a fun hypothesis. We aren't actually sending people down to Earth."

"But it could-"

"It's far too dangerous, and there's no real reason to do so." I sighed. My dad seemed more set in stone on the subject then Sinclair, or Raven for that matter, as they both seemed fairly excited by the prospect.  
As was I. It had been two months since Bellamy and I had played pretend and made up our fictitious family. We never spoke about it again, not about how emotionally important a big family clearly was to Bellamy, and not about my solemn promise to give that to him. I had casually mentioned to Jaha that ideally, I would want more than one child, using hypothetical and a teasing tone, just to test out the waters, but he had just laughed and said that after I had one, I might just change my mind. Of course he then mentioned my desire for a child to my mother, who hurriedly told me that there wasn't a rush and that I shouldn't be thinking about that. But Bellamy was significantly older than I was, and he was clearly ready and wanting a child (for starters). I did some seminars on Earth Skills, just for fun, I told people, and signed Bellamy and myself up for one of those "Earth Life Simulation" weekends you could do. (For 50 rations, I admittedly had to borrow a few from my dad, but he was more than willing as his part of Bellamy's early birthday gift. We did it last week. It was… amazing. Bellamy and I were both pretty good at hunting and we managed passing scores in all the Earth Skills applications. They said it was one of the best simulations they'd ever seen, actually. That was bittersweet. Then there was tonight. His birthday. 26. He was 26 and ready to start our family. There was one other gift I was ready to give him too, though mom wasn't too thrilled about it. Aurora seemed happier, but there was an off emotion I couldn't quite explain. Tonight, I would have to see what Bellamy thought about it.

* * *

"You what?" He asked, disbelievingly.

"I want to know if you want to have a baby with me. Now. Well, in like, 9 months, but start now I mean?"

"Clarke that's...that's huge."

"I don't want you to say yes because you think you're supposed to or something, I just thought maybe we could start a conversation about it."

"Clarke, you know I want to have a baby with you. I can't begin to tell you, how much I want to see you pregnant with my baby, holding her in your arms, I just…"

"It's a lot?"

"It's a lot."

"Conception is so complicated and uncomfortable and you have to..."

"Get my device taken out."

"Isn't that-"

"Bellamy, I want our baby. If you're not ready we can wait."

"No. No." He burst into a grin and swept me up into his arms. "Let's have a baby, Clarke."

"Are you serious?"

"Princess, I literally can't wait. What time is it? Do we have time to register our request tonight? We married under testing rules somehow, somehow I matched with you. It won't take long to get approved. We could-"

"It's too late officially." I said with a grin. "But you, my darling, are married to the Chancellor's God daughter, and the Head Doctor's daughter, which means that we can go right now to their personal units and tell them that the very first thing tomorrow morning they are to sign off on our request and get the ball rolling." He kissed me soundly. And spun me around. By the time he sat me down, he'd already managed to slip his shoes on and grab mine.

"Let's go!"

"Do you want to tell Aurora first?" I asked. He paused and I saw a series of emotions flashing across his face. He settled on simply happy and shook his head.

"No. I think it would be fun if I told her over lunch tomorrow that we'd submitted out paperwork." Lunch tomorrow. I was working. He had been planning on seeing her without me. I wouldn't be there. But then again I had already mentioned it to her and my own mom, that I was thinking about it, so it was hardly fair of me to ask him to wait for me. I nodded and off we went.

* * *

"Just and few more minutes." I begged looking for the door.

"Clarke he really doesn't have to be here for this." My mom said irritably. "I'm just taking out your contraception device. The husbands don't usually come in for this."

"His shift was running late today. He wants to be here and I want him here."

"Most women don't want their husbands to see them like this. I'm not going to lie to you, it's quite painful Clarke."

"That's why I want him here!"

"Clarke!" She exclaimed exasperated.

"I'm here!" His rich baritone filled the room and I leaped up reaching for him. He grinned, settling the nerves that had up to this point been running wildly rampant around my chest.

"Oh come on, Princess. You're not nervous, are you? Not my lioness."

"Terrified." He tipped my chin up and grinned at me.

"What is it you told me when I was afraid to get that vaccination last month?"

"Not to be afraid. And that I wouldn't let go of your hand for a minute."

"You most certainly did not promise to hold my hand, young lady."

"No but you promised me you would!" I begged, knowing damn well I sounded whiny and desperate right now.

"I promise, babe. But what else did you tell me."

"It's just one moment. And then it's done and we move on."

"It's just one moment, Princess. Then it's done and we move on. And do you know what happens afterwards."

"Cleo?" I asked. He grinned.

"Cleo."

"Are you two choosing a girl?" My mom asked excitedly.

"No, we're not making a choice. Leaving it up to fate." I said.

"But we're pretty sure it'll be a girl."

"I see…" she said, sounding completely like a person who didn't see at all.

"You didn't chose with me." I reminded her, a bit defensively. She smiled wryly and shook her head.

"It's not that, Clarke. It's you two. You're something else, is all. Come on then. Let's get your moment done with so you can move on to the fun part." I could feel Bellamy tensing up, keeping in the joke that was itching to get out. Mom blushed and her eyes grew wide.

"I didn't mean… I meant having a baby! I mean moving on to the part where you have a baby!" For the first time all afternoon, I laughed.

* * *

Negative. Yet again. We had been trying for weeks and still, nothing. For as fast as we had gotten approval, this surely wasn't happening very quickly. Not that my husband was helping matters. He was tense. All the time. He worked erratic hours, being called in for an emergency with his new position at any hour of the day or night, never really sleeping, and the stress - I had never seen him so stressed out. I knew damn well that his stress was probably frying his sperm up to bits and that I wasn't about to get pregnant with him freaking out.

I wish I could say it was all work that was worrying him, but I knew our trying to have a baby wasn't exactly helping matters much. During a fight last night he had exclaimed loudly that maybe we shouldn't have a baby, asking what was the point of bringing a person into a world like this? I'd stayed at my parents. He'd sent nearly a dozen apology notes in the hands of my friends, each of them with an activity for me to do on day off to enjoy and relax… without him. Because he had pulled an extra all day shift. Which meant I hadn't seen him since he yelled at me that he didn't want to have a baby with me. Great. I had come back to my parents for dinner and found my dad a complete wreck. He hadn't showered, shaved, or gone to work. He was taking this fight of mine with Bell way too personally. After reassuring him that we would be fine and that we were just under a lot of stress, I let him read a few of the love notes Bell had sent along to assuage his made up guilt in my chaotic marriage, and ran into the bathroom to take this test. Which brings us back to that word: negative. I wasn't pregnant. Again.

A pounding on the door startled me, and dad yelled at me to answer it. It slid open to reveal… Bellamy. And I had thought my dad was a mess. He wasn't wearing his uniform. His hair was crazy, the way it only was after he pulled it every which way while making a hard decision. He was sweating and his eyes were darting back and forth, paranoid almost. There was what looked like vomit - oh God, smelled like vomit, too - on his shirt and actual blood on his hands.

"Holy shit, Bell, what happened? Are you okay? What's wrong?" I ran my hands over him, trying find the source of the blood. His hands, larger, stronger, and every moment I could remember save for this one, calmer than mine, quivered as they gripped mine, stopping them in their quest for his malady.

"Clarke do you trust me?" He asked lowly. I nodded frantically.

"Of course, Bell, please tell me you're okay!" He nodded.

"I need you to quietly grab your med bag and follow me."

"It's in our room, are you hurt?!"

"Quietly, Clarke. Lives depend on this okay, don't draw attention to yourself and don't make a fuss. Go get your bag and meet me-"

"The hell with that." I whispered as quietly as my nerves for his well being would allow me. "If you want to not draw attention to yourself you're going to need a different shirt at the very least. Come on." We silently slipped back to our unit and he threw a tee on over the crusty garment he already wore while I pulled together my med supplies.

"Bellamy. What's going on?"

"I can't explain, just, please keep an open mind, okay?" I nodded.

"Bell I trust you. Okay? Just tell me-"

"I'm going to show you. A bit easier." He led the way, my heart sinking the whole time to Aurora Blake's unit. I froze.

"Bellamy Alexander Blake I swear to God if you killed your mother I will-" he slid open the door and pushed me inside. No dead body here. That was a start.

"Bell?" Aurora rushed into the living room, her own appearance in a similar state to Bell's. Her eyes found mine and she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "Thank God." She murmured.

"Not now, mother." Bellamy all but growled at her. He took my hand and led me into Aurora's bedroom. I don't know what I expected. But it certainly wasn't this. A girl, nine or ten if I had to guess, lay on the bed. Her hair was tied carefully in a braid and it was clear she was being cared for… by people who had no idea what to do. She was sick. Vomiting and bleeding from the nostrils, kind of sick. Fever, rash, and crying out for the Holy Ghost kind of sick. And she looked a hell of a lot like Bellamy. I knelt by her side and opened my bag, pulling out what I needed to examine her with.

"Aurora, she'll need water. A lot. Pour out as much as you're rationed, then go fetch what's left of ours. Then go find Jasper Jordyn. Tell him Clarke needs water, no questions asked, discreet as he can be. I've got a feeling he'll know where we can scrounge up some extra. While you're at our unit, pick up another blanket and bring it with you. Bellamy, if you insist on pacing back and forth like a mad man, I insist you do so as quietly as you possibly can and if you say one word I will throw something hard, heavy, and possibly sharp at you." Aurora hurried to comply. Bellamy just stared at the girl, his eyes wide with panic, running his hand through his hair.

I tried not to think about him while I examined her. His emotions would just distract me.

As I rushed through my initial exam, I realized a few things. Firstly, she was older than I had initially assumed her small frame, accentuated by hunger would likely be filled out by now was she not desperately ill. She couldn't be that much younger than me. Her skin was an olive tone, or would be if it wasn't practically green. The other thing... this girl had Diasnape. It was a disease that my mother had noticed in one or two people, and had had the foresight to instantly quarantine and find a cure for. I'd helped her develop the vaccine as my these project, and as a result, almost no one actually got sick. Everyone on the Ark had been vaccinated months ago, including Bellamy. The only people who had been sick, were quarantined, cured, and sent on their way. We'd flushed out everything they'd touched. It should be impossible for anyone on the ark to get sick from it. Unless of course... they hadn't been on the list for vaccinations. I sighed. Dear God Bellamy. What have you done?

Suddenly, her eyes drifted open and upon seeing my face, the girl went off in a panic, struggling to get away from me, reaching for Bellamy. He instantly rushed to her side.

"Octavia, calm down! Everything's okay, alright? You're still at home. Don't worry." Her eyes were tearing into me, panicked and terrified. "Octavia, this is Clarke, she's going to make you better okay? Don't worry."

"Octavia," I began quietly. "You are really sick. There's a vaccine for it, but I get the feeling you never got the vaccine." I glanced at Bellamy to confirm and his eyes returned my gaze, affirming my fear. "I have to go get some medicine for you. In the meantime, I need you to drink a lot of water, okay. Try to rest. Drink as much water as you can. I'm going to get Bellamy some damp, cool clothes to put on your arms and legs and face. We're going to try to bring this nasty fever down." Her eyelids fluttered but she seemed to understand. I cracked open some of my cooling pads and showed Bellamy where to put them and how he'd have to flip them if they got too warm. The cold seemed to calm her a bit, and I was able to stand and walk out of the room, Bellamy on my heels.

"Clarke-"

"Is there a legal way to explain that unvaccinated girl I've never seen before?" The silence was physically painful.

"Clarke," he finally said, his voice cracking.

"Don't. I have to go."

"No! Clarke, you can't. You can't tell anyone!" He said urgently. "They'll float her, they'll float my mom,"

"Don't be absurd!" I hissed. "I'm not going to tell anyone, I'm going to go steal her some medicine. Without it she's going to die. Keep her fever down as best as you can, and change your clothes for Christ's sake, if you wanted to draw attention to your usually impeccable self, this is sure as hell the way to do it." I said gesturing to his unkempt appearance. "She may throw up again. Did all the blood come from that cut on her shoulder?"

"Some of it. I was using my sleeve to stop her bloody nose."

"I suspect her shoulder is the entry point of the bacteria. I'll need more information on that when I get back."

"Clarke-"

"I said don't!" I hadn't meant to yell the words but there it was. I was angry. Furious. "We'll talk when she's better. I have to go commit a Grade A crime now if you'll excuse me." I heard him call out my name again, forlornly as I shut the door behind myself. I ran to the main med bay, knowing exactly what I needed. It was after hours. If anyone was still here, it would be my mom, but dad had mentioned they were going to have dinner together tonight, which meant she probably was gone. I checked the scanner. Sure enough no one was inside. Grabbing a random badge of the wall, I swiped in under one of the nurses key codes. I rushed in and rummaged through the drawers for a syringe. My mom had just reorganized this whole place and I couldn't find a thing I needed.

"Clarke?" Oh shit. I slowly turned around to see… Raven?

"What are you doing here?" She shakily held up a dose of Vitamin D.

"It's Finn, Clarke. I know you hate him and I get it, but he's depressed. It's real bad, Clarke. Your mom gave him Vit. D a few months back, it really seemed to help but he doesn't qualify for more til next month." She bit her lip. "Are you going to turn me in?" She asked nervously. I slowly shook my head. How could I? When I was in here to do something much worse then get a bit of faux sunlight to someone who needed it?

"No. Raven I need your help."

"Anything." She swore, desperate to repay me.

"I need you to convince my dad to launch the Earth Exploration project."

"You need what? Why?"

"I can't explain, but I promised Bellamy I'd... nothing. Just, the only way for that to happen is we get the hell off this Ark. We want to leave, Raven. And I want to go to Earth." Her eyes were whizzing back and forth, looking for things that weren't there.

"I'll see what I can do, Clarke. No promises."

"We need to get off this Ark, Raven. I think it'll kill Bellamy just as fast as it'll kill Finn. You know it as well as I do. We need to get off of here."

"He's good for you," she said simply as she nodded in agreement. "Bellamy, I mean."

"Normally I'd agree but right now I'd like to wring his neck so I'm going to have to decline to comment."

"Men. Can't live without 'em, can't kill 'em or you'll get floated. What do they expect from us women?" I laughed without humor.

"Get out of here before they see you. I'll change the inventory. No one will even notice."

"Thanks Clarke." Her brow furrowed. "Hey, what are you doing in here?"

"Oh! I lost something. Just retracing my steps to find it and all."

"Got it. Good luck Clarke!"

"Yeah, you too." I changed the records to say I'd broken a vial of Vit. D this morning and finally found the meds I was looking for. I hid what I had stolen under my shirt and hoped that I could count on the new nurse's horrible inventory skills to account for the missing items. I wasn't usually clumsy, my breaking two vials in one day wouldn't go unnoticed. Hanging her badge back where I found it, I made my way back to Aurora's unit, sneaking in as quietly and surreptitiously as I could. Aurora and Bellamy were arguing and I did my best not to listen in, really I did.

"She could get floated for this mom! I've just put my wife in extreme danger to save O, so don't say that I'm not doing my part."

"You could have gone sooner. Clarke's a good girl. She does the right thing. She would have wanted to know about Octavia and she would have wanted to help."

"Of course she would have wanted to help! She'd have done any and everything she could to help including get herself killed in the process. I thought I could help O, I thought we could nurse her back to health like we did when she got the flu two years ago. I wasn't about to put Clarke in danger needlessly! The less she knows, the safer she is."

"The less I know the less I can do to save your sorry ass, Bellamy Blake. Now move." I brushed past him and knelt back and Octavia's side.

"Octavia," I murmured, nudging her awake. "It's Clarke again. I have to give you your medicine now. I'm so sorry Octavia but it's going to hurt. A lot. But then you'll get better, okay?" I pulled out the nasty looking syringe and needle and watched as her eyes got big. "I know. I had to stab Bellamy with this thing a while back and he wasn't so happy about it either, but think about this, okay? It's one moment. Just a moment and then it will be over and you'll start to get better." She glanced at Bell, and at his reassuring nod, she held out her arm and nodded. I worked quickly and I tried not to notice Bell wincing at her cry of pain.

"It's okay, Octavia. Bellamy's here, and we're going to make you all better." I said as soothingly as I could.

"Everything's going to be okay." She nodded and closed her eyes tightly. I was as gentle as I could be, shoving the needle of the antidote into her upper arm, and I pushed slowly, trying to give her body time to adjust to the added fluid. Still, she squirmed. I had expected no less. The vaccine had hurt badly enough, but I'd watched a full grown man scream and nearly vomit at receiving the antidote. It was a lot of pressure to put on a body. It was fast acting, in an attempt to keep spreading down, but that only made the concentration higher, and the initial pain worse. By the time I'd pulled the needle out I was thoroughly astounded at how well Octavia was taking this all. She had a high tolerance for pain, and whether that was genetic or learned I couldn't tell, but I was impressed. Very, very impressed. I cleaned up the entry site and put a small bandage on it before turning to the cut on her shoulder.

Before I could begin on it, however, there was a knocking on the door and Aurora jumped to her feet, her eyes wide. A voice called out and I pushed Bellamy out of the bedroom and kicked the bedroom door shut behind me. "You have to be really quiet, Octavia." She nodded and shrunk back into the bed. I pulled the covers over her and climbed up next to her, arranging myself so that if someone did burst in, I could easily block her body from view.

But what would stop them from walking all the way in and seeing? I didn't know who was out there.

I did know, however, that here on the Ark, I was given a certain level of… respect, that some of the outer station ladies were not by the guards, the tribune, even by their own men, just cause people were scared of Jaha, and 1st station. In a moment of panic, I quickly stripped down to only my panties, and lay myself out like I was mid-changing clothes. The putrid, vomit covered clothing that was on the floor only cemented that cover story. I'd been vomited on at work, I came here to see my mother in law, because it was on the way to Bellamy's unit, and she offered me some clothes to change into. I heard a thin giggle from Octavia behind me and I shushed her halfheartedly.

"I don't care _who_ bursts in here." I muttered. "I know what my boobs look like. They aren't looking anywhere else in the room." She moved her hand quickly and I realized she was biting her fist to keep herself from laughing. "Sorry." I muttered. I shouldn't make it harder for her. I tucked the quilt around her better, and blocked her off. I wasn't about to let anyone get to her right now.

There was some conversation happening in the other room and after a while, it died down and we could hear the door open and close again. After a moment, Bellamy came to the door.

"It's was Jasper Jordyn with more water. And something else for you Clarke, he wouldn't let me open it." I managed to slip my bra back on before he opened the door and stepped in. He was about to continue speaking but upon catching a glimpse of me he paused, his mouth hanging open like a fish. "Um…"

"I was worried someone might bust in here. Thought it was the least I could do to distract them." Still, he just stood there.

"I mean Bellamy looks pretty distracted so it probably would have worked." Octavia piped in, her words ending in a cough. "Thanks, Clarke." She managed.

"Can we get the water in here?" I asked. "It's already starting to work, but she needs to stay extra hydrated. She can have our rations for a while. I can get some at work, and Bellamy, if you go watch a sports game with my dad, you can get something to drink there." Aurora brought in several large canteens of water, looking a bit awestruck at the amount and I slipped back into doctor mode, and also a bit of dear _God_ I was pissed off at Bellamy Blake right now.

"How did-"

"He owed me a favor."

"A law breaking favor?" Bellamy asked skeptically.

"Yes, actually. He broke both of his arms a while back, high as a kite on medicinal marijuana, and I'd charted that it was accidentally inhaled so he wouldn't get floated. Him and his friend. They aren't the deep black market type, but enough in that they won't talk." I turned back to Octavia and held a glass of the water out for her.

"You seem to be feeling a bit better."

"Like you said. It hurt for a bit, but as soon as that pain went away, it was already easier to breath." I smiled.

"Good. And the nausea?"

"Still a bit nauseous, but I'm not actively vomiting on people."

"Good. You're talking and you clearly look better which means it's working. We'll have to burn your sheets when this passes, but I can get you some of my old ones at my parent's pod. Now as for that cut, Bellamy there is some antiseptic and bandages in my bag. Actually, could you please just go get my entire bag? It's under the kitchen table." I spoke stiffly before turning back to the girl.

"By the way, it's nice to meet you Octavia." I smiled at her softly.

"It's nice to finally meet you, too Clarke. Bell's told me all about you." I stiffened again at that. I didn't want to talk about Bellamy just now.

"How did you get this cut?" I asked, concerned. She flushed.

"When they do inspections out here, I hide under the floorboards. Usually I'm good at staying still and not touching any of the stuff down there, but I had to sneeze and holding it in was getting really hard. I rolled over, trying to pinch my nose so I wouldn't, and I rolled right on a sanitation vent. It cut me. I just tied some of mom's extra cloth around it. Thought it would be fine."

"Like a week ago? Maybe more?" I asked. She nodded. "We were sending out the bio-waste from factory about then. A few people had been lax about getting the vaccine, in all stations, but we had the biggest outbreak in factory, just like this. It's mostly airborne, but it's partly blood borne as well so you must have cut yourself on something that was contaminated. It's kind of lucky there an outbreak earlier, actually. Because we'd already come up with the antidote for those who hadn't taken the vaccine." I was rambling now. I did that when I got nervous.

"Bell's right. You're really smart." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know about that. I'm just good at my job, is all."

"No. You're definitely really smart. How the test matched you with my idiot brother is beyond me." I smiled at her softly.

"He has been pretty idiotic of late." I admitted. "Mind if I dress your shoulder wound? It'll sting a bit, but nothing like the antidote."

"Sure." Octavia shrugged.

"It helps to talk through it, distract yourself." I told her.

"What should I talk about?" I paused, knowing what I really wanted to hear. Maybe it was crossing a line. Asking for this could very well be crossing a line. But looking into those dark brown eyes that I knew so well sitting in an unfamiliar face... I had to know for sure. I needed someone to say the words.

"Why don't you tell me about you, Octavia?"


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Ya'll had a LOT of opinions on how Octavia was introduced and I LOVED IT! I LOVe getting feedback from you all so please, keep it coming and review/PM me with your thoughts! You all also had some ideas about where you thought the story was going from here... you are all wrong, by the way:) Guess you'll just have to keep reading to find out! Watch where you're going though: consider this your road sign for 'plot twists ahead'!**

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

"-and then when the guards come I hide under some floorboards out in the kitchen. That's where I got hurt."

"Right. You said."

"Bell feels really bad about dragging you into this, you know." Octavia said, looking up at me sadly. "I mean obviously I feel badly too, but Bell really didn't want to ask you for help. He loves you, more than anything, and he didn't want to put you in danger, you know? But..." She trailed off guiltily.

"You're life was on the line. He did the right thing." I assured her. He should have come to me sooner. I could have stopped this a long time ago."

"Nah, he was right to try to wait it out. I'm not an easy secret to keep. It's really hard on mom and Bell. They pretend that everything's fine a lot, but it isn't. I know they suffer a lot for it. Bell never really had a lot of friends or girlfriends or anything, before you. It wouldn't be fair to make me hide under the floor if they wanted to come over all the time. That's what he said anyway. And Shumway, the guard who my mom is... seeing, to help keep me a secret and make sure we know about all the checks and searches before they happen, he helped with sorting the year Bell turned 18, made sure that Bell's name got rejected from any matches he might have had." She kept rambling but I couldn't listen anymore. My blood was running cold. Bellamy had been withheld from matches his year. Probably the year after too, when reruns were most common. He may have had a match in any of those years. There may have been someone... better for him than me. Maybe we weren't meant to be together at all. Trust the test. It was a joke when people were manipulating it like this. I understood the importance but knowing that I hadn't been meant for Bell in the beginning... that there was probably some other girl he would have loved better, trusted more... oh God Clarke please, please don't cry right now. You can't cry right now.

"Octavia I have to go. My parents are expecting me and they'll come looking here if they don't find me at my place. Um... keep drinking water. I'll bring you some vitamins and boosters soon, yeah? And Bell and I will figure out how to get you both more food, because this malnourished look is not doing you justice." I teased her, pushing her hair behind her ear. Here I was biting back tears about a boy when Octavia was being raised under the floorboards without complaint, more worried about the effect it was having on her mother and brother than on herself.

"You'll come back and see me?" She asked, perking up.

"Of course! I have the first sister-in-law in about a century. I'm not just gonna ignore her! Besides I like you. I think we're gonna be best friends." She smiled shyly.

"I'm glad you're my new sister, Clarke." She said kindly. Only it broke my heart. Because I probably wasn't supposed to be.

"Yeah. See you, Octavia." I stumbled out, and walked straight passed Bellamy's outstretched arms.

"Keep hydrating. I'll bring some stuff around tomorrow to help her gain some strength and get a bit healthier. I have to go, my parents will be expecting me soon and I should clean up before then." I spoke to Aurora, looking her in the eye, refusing to so much as glance at Bell. I couldn't. I knew that if I did I would burst into tears and I couldn't do that just now. "Are we still on for coffee tomorrow?" I asked her. "We could do it here, with Octavia if you wanted."

"I think she would love that." She pulled me into a hug. "I can't thank you enough, Clarke. You've done more than we had any right to expect." Bellamy made a noise behind us but I was doing my damndest not to listen to him.

"It's nothing. Really. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"Clarke-" Bell called out as I made my way out.

"I'm obviously not going to say anything. I'm not stupid." I spoke gruffly, trying to mask the emotions that were welling up inside me.

"When will you be home tonight?" He finally asked as I reached for the door.

"I don't know."

"Clarke-"

"I said I don't know!" I yelled before escaping and practically running down the hallway. I didn't stop until I made it to my own pod. I locked the door behind me with a deadbolt seal, keeping Bell out if he happened to chase me down which I was praying he wouldn't. Within moments of the door closing behind me, I sank to the floor, and sobbed.

* * *

I watched a movie with my parents, quietly picking at the snack my mom had put out. I curled up in my dad's arms and watching the images on the screen shifting in front of me, without actually seeing what was going on at all. My mom had asked me several times if I was all right, and knowing she'd go prying into business that wasn't hers if she thought I wasn't telling her the whole story, I admitted that Bell and I were having trouble conceiving and I was getting really defeated about it. Ah the problems of yesterday.

When I mentioned it, however, my dad instantly became uncomfortable and he rose to leave the conversation. It wasn't unlike how he had been acting before the wedding, when he was upset about God only knows what, only this time, I couldn't blame him. It actually did make sense that he wouldn't want to talk about my sex life.

"The test matches couples for compatibility in this too, Clarke." My mom pointed out. "So you know it's going to happen. You'd have been told if either of you were infertile after the tests, so you know it's not that."

"He's been really stressed about work, and this not happening has been stressing me out. I know that makes it harder to conceive but how do you just stop being stressed?" Mom pulled me into a hug and just held me.

"You're really young, Clarke. You don't need to have a baby yet. You can wait! And as long as it's not happening, you don't even have to put the device back in! You can stop trying, without stopping the possibility, and then it's not stressful... it's just... doing your thing."

"Bell's older than me mom. He _wants_ to have a baby, soon. He's ready to start." I think. He had yelled at me that maybe we shouldn't have a baby, and let's be honest, if he was matched with the _right_ person this would probably all be happening for him and everything would be fine. Ugh.

"But he isn't the only one in the relationship. Are _you_ ready to be a mom?" I looked up into her chocolate brown eyes.

"I want this, mom. I really, really want this."

"Okay. Then you and I are about to have a very uncomfortable conversation about positions, and temperatures, and all that fun doctor stuff because I _am_ your doctor which means that for a minute I have to put aside that you are my daughter and that I don't even want to think about it."

"Oh my gosh, mom, no. I've read the textbooks, yeah? I get it."

"It's different when you're talking about yourself."

"I know. I promise I'll reread all the material. No need to have this talk."

"Okay..." She said. "But if this persists and you're still stressed out about it-"

"I'll come talk to you."

* * *

I didn't want to go back to my pod tonight. It was 50/50 that Bellamy would be there. He'd either be desperate to talk to me, or want to give me my space and I honestly didn't know which was worse, having to have a conversation that I knew would break my heart, or not being able to be in his arms as I cried myself to sleep? I _could_ stay here, in my old room, but then my parents would know something was up. I could probably stay with Fox under the guise of - she's getting married next week, bachelorette sleepover? kind of thing... but I hadn't been around her as much as usual, and I didn't know if I could face her right now either. I was a bad friend. And a bad daughter. And a bad wife. When had my life turned into such a shit show? After an hour of pacing nervously across a 4 foot span of floor, I finally, in a huff of annoyance at my own ridiculous behavior, stalked back towards my own pod. I didn't want to have to make this choice. So Bell could make it. Whether or not he was home would be the decision. I was going to sleep in my own damn bed. The bed that we shared. The bed that, even when he wasn't in it, smelled like him. The bed that we-

What the hell was I doing?! I couldn't go back there! Even if he wasn't there I'd be sleeping in his bed, sobbing myself to sleep over his scent and the knowledge that I wasn't the one for him, even if he was the one for me. I spun around on my heel and nearly ran into a tall man in a guard's uniform.

"Clarke?" I looked up at his dark eyes.

"Miller! Hi!"

"You okay?" He asked with a chuckle. "I don't think I've ever seen someone so suddenly about face, there. That was... okay seriously, are you okay?" His face was now serious, likely seeing the tears in my eyes.

"Oh! Yes! I was at my parents and I just realized I'd forgotten something and I had better head back because they'll be going to sleep soon and I really don't want to wake them you see, and-"

"Clarke. Breathe. What's wrong?" I took a shuddering breath and without preamble, burst into sobs.

"It's stupid. Really. I'm find. I'm just being really stupid and I-"

"Well you're not the only one. That husband of yours was in our physical training room like half an hour ago and was going at it like a maniac to the point of knocking one of our punching bags to the floor. You know. The ones on thick metal chains?" I buried my face in my hands and I felt Miller wrap his arms around me comfortingly. "Hey, Clarke, whatever it is, this is going to be okay, I promise."

"We're fighting." I said, likely stating the obvious at this point. "And I'm too chicken shit to so much as walk into our pod in case he's there because I can't figure out if I want to avoid him, or just..."

"Be with him as much as you can cause you're miserable and just want your best friend?" He smiled softly. "Yeah. I get that. We aren't like, married or anything, but I usually stay over at Bryan's, so I guess we're sort of living together, and a few months back we got into this massive fight." He smirked. "I know the Ark is huge, but it seems tiny when you're trying to avoid someone." Huh. Wasn't that the truth? "I spent so much time pacing around in my parents' pod one night, fighting between the urge to never speak with him again, and just want to curl up in his arms and sleep." I stared at him in shock. Even normal people had this problem, it seemed. "I don't want to give unsolicited advice or anything, but that night I stayed away, and the next I gave in and we just held each other. Let me give you one guess as to which one was better?"

"So you're saying I should go back to my pod and wait for him there?"

"I'm saying I've known Blake for a long time. Kind of a loner. Never really talked to us much. Showed up, did his job, went back to his mom's. That was it. And then you came along, and now he's... well not bubbly, but he talks to all of us. He tells us about some amazing way you combined rations to make this new dish and the way he talks about it, it's like you hung the moon in the sky or built the Ark with your bare hands all while holding your breath. He's a different person altogether. He's completely devoted to you. The day before your wedding he couldn't stop grinning like an idiot, and I had never seen that boy smile before. He adores you. And just the fact that you're fighting turned him into this mess of a person. He's a good guy, Clarke. If you go back, and he's there, and you don't want to talk about it, or you just want to pause the fight for another time, or you don't want to talk at all, that boy will do whatever you ask. You don't have to be scared of this." I looked up at Miller.

"Bryan's pretty lucky you know. You're pretty incredible."

"Always happy for some heart to heart chatting." He winked. "Go on girl. Get your man."

* * *

Bellamy was pacing the floor, his hands pulling at his hair when I slid our door open. It clicked against the latch when it closed behind me. That sound alone was enough to make him spin around, staring at me. His eyes were bloodshot and it was clear he'd been crying. That was new, actually. I didn't like the look of him this sad. I mostly didn't like that I was the one who had caused it.

"Bell-" I muttered, unable to look him in the eye. Of course this also meant that I didn't see right away as he began stalking towards me and that I had no forewarning that I was about to be swept up into two, warm arms and held against his chest like I was a child.

"I'm so sorry." He cried against me, refusing to let me go. "I should have just told you. No. I shouldn't have involved you in this at all. Oh God I'm still so conflicted. You're in so much danger now, because of me. I shouldn't have-"

"Not now. We don't need to talk about this now."

"Princess-"

"Please. I just want to sleep." He set me down gently, his lips pressing against my head as he did so.

"Alright." I made my way in, stripping off my pants and top as I did so before curling up under our sheets in just my tank and underwear. He sat down slowly at our kitchen table his head falling into his hands.

"Bell?" He looked up, his eyes filled with pain.

"Yes, Princess?"

"Can you hold me?" He gave me a sad smile.

"Always."

* * *

 **A/N: Reviews? Pretty please?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Minor smut here, lots of major plot! Yay! The story progresses!**

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

The clock on the wall said that it was sometime after 3 AM but I was too bleary eyed to look _too_ closely. I was toasty warm, wrapped up in Bellamy's arms, his breath hot on my neck. I felt like the entire foundation of our relationship had been shattered, and yet somehow, even if I wasn't the one for him, I _knew_ he was the one for me. I loved him, completely and entirely, hang the damn test.

He shifted in his sleep and his hand moved to rest on my chest. I couldn't get it out of my head. Who was supposed to be lying here next to him? Who had been his perfect match? Who... I sighed. This faceless girl was haunting me. She had a better claim to my husband than I did. I almost wish I knew who she was, but I knew that wouldn't make her go away. My ghost would just have a face, is all. Bellamy's lips pressed against my neck, and he pulled me close to him, murmuring in his sleep. I shifted in his arms, and looked at his sleeping figure. He looked truly peaceful now, in a way he never did when he was awake.

Well not never.

There was one situation when he looked this calm and happy. I leaned forward and kissed his jaw, peppering my lips lightly across his skin, reveling in his warmth, that _scent_. I shivered and it had nothing to do with an evening chill.

"Bell." I whispered, moving my body more purposefully now. I slipped off my sleep shirt and was left in an old sports bra and a pair of Bell's old boxers. (I'd bought him a whole new set for his birthday as well, and then reclaimed his older pairs to sleep in.) I threw one leg over him and sat on his hips. He mumbled in his sleep, clearly starting to wake up. _He_ might not be awake, but his nether regions certainly were. I rested my heat on his long, hardening member, and rolled my hips forward, moaning at the contact. His eyes flew open.

"Clarke?" He asked, his hands instantly finding my hips, holding me close to him. "What are you-"

"Shhhh." I hushed him. "We don't want to wake up the neighbors again."

"I thought you were mad at me." He muttered, his eyes flitting back and forth, landing more than once on my exposed chest.

"I'm not mad at you."

"Then why have you been-" I cut him off by thrusting my hips forward, rubbing my heat against his fully erect cock.

"Shut up, Bell." I urged him, moaning out the words. "Just... just fuck me." He didn't take long to wake up after that, and instead of thinking to hard about the other faceless woman, I just lost myself in him. I let him hold me, and kiss me, and take me slow and soft. His hands left marks against my hips, holding me tightly in place, his lips murmuring words of love into my skin over and over. I loved him. And right now, in this moment that was all that mattered. He slid his own clothing off, pulling the boxers off my hips, indelicately pulling my legs through then until they lay matted on the floor. My sports bra was soon to follow, and we were naked, holding on for dear life. He moved to switch our positions, but I pushed him back gently, and moved my hips so he was pointed at my entrance. He reached towards my clit, like he always did, ensuring I was more than wet, but completely ready for him. He was a gentleman like that. I wasn't really in the mood for a gentleman right now. Before his fingers reached me, I plunged my hips down and impaled myself on him, letting out a gasp, which was quickly followed by a moan as his hips stuttered into me at the sudden sensation.

"Jesus, Clarke. He sighed out, moving to sit up against me. Again, I pushed him back onto our bed, my hands resting on his chest, propping up my weight. As he settled back in, his hands seeking out my hips once more, I began to rock against him. You couldn't exactly call what I was doing gentle, but for right now, it was perfect. I fucked him. Hard.

So much for not waking the neighbors. Our moans and cries of pleasure mounted to a peak as we both quickly reached our pleasure. I collapsed on top of him, his member still inside me. After a few minutes of deep breathing, our hearts pounding against one another, he turned his head towards me and narrowed his eyes.

"So are we fighting? Cause I thought we were fighting but this doesn't feel like fighting." I kissed his lips softly and moved my lips to his ear.

"I love you, Bell." We didn't need anymore words, and within minutes, we'd both fallen asleep. When I woke up the next morning, his cock was still inside me, hardened and ready for another round. I'd already woken him up for sex once in the past 24 hours... what was once more?

* * *

It was still morning, and Bell had fallen back asleep when I snuck out of our pod and quietly made my way to my parents. It was his day off, and as such, he was going to try to get as much sleep as he possibly could. I had other plans for the day: Convince my dad to do something certifiably insane.

* * *

"Dad, I need you to take me seriously for a moment."

"That's a little hard as I don't understand a word of this."

"You have a proposal all done up for the Earth Exploration project. To see if Earth is livable."

"It's a last resort. We're fine up here. Why wouldn't we-"

"Because 'we're fine' only really applies to the first few stations and you know that. People deserve the chance to spread out, to build their own lives, to live, really live, and not just in some metal cage floating through the sky."

"Clarke-"

"Dad. I'm actually begging you. Send a dropship down."

"I can't in good conscience ask people to do that. Jaha wanted to send the _prisoners_ down, Clarke. _Children._ I can't just let him-"

"Send me."

"What?"

"Send me and Bell. And I'm sure there are others who are just as desperate, who would do this willingly."

"Clarke, what are you-"

"He's dying up here, dad. This isn't... this isn't the life I want for him."

"But it's life, Clarke, you don't know... it's only a little theory I had."

"A theory you tested. And if I recall correctly, the last little theory you had ended up saving the entire Ark from suffocating."

"Clarke, be serious-"

"I am. Send us to Earth. You'd have to send a doctor down anyway, and I doubt Jackson, or Rita, or Mo, or Cygnes are about to volunteer, and the Ark actually needs mom, so I'm the logical choice."

"You are most certainly _not_ the-"

"And Bell and I, we want more than one kid anyway." My dad smirked at that a little.

"Say that again after you have the first one."

"Daddy. We need this. This isn't some fanciful thought here. This is everything."

"What aren't you telling me, Cece?" I paused, knowing if I lied, my dad would see right through me.

"It's not my secret to tell." I murmured towards him. His eyes widened.

"How big of a secret, Clarke?"

"No one can know, dad. No one can know."

"Clarke, you can always come to us for help. You wont get in trouble for doing the right thing and I know you. I know you want to do the right thing. So-"

"This is the right thing, dad. But it also means that if people find out, certain other people will get floated. Maybe me. I haven't really thought that part through."

"Clarke!" He asked in a hushed whisper, sounding incredibly alarmed. "Whatever this is-"

"I'm doing the right thing, dad. But it... please. Just send us to Earth. It wouldn't be illegal there. No one would hurt anyone else."

"What if I'm wrong?" I paused, looking him in the eye, trying to assure him that I knew the risks and that I had thought this through from every possible angle.

"Then we die. But dad, the alternative is worse. This is a chance. Please, just... give us this chance." He shook his head and was silent for a long, long time.

"Clarke, three people... that's not enough. You'd need enough to start a colony and I can't condemn people to an uncertain death like that."

"Raven, Raven and her boyfriend, they'd want to go, for sure. He has a severe Vit D deficiency and he's depressed, all the time. She wants to get him to Earth, where he can stand in the sun. He's... the test put him at risk for suicide, dad, and Raven is terrified. They'll want to go."

"Five people, still isn't enough."

"6. I know another girl who will want to go. A family friend of Aurora's."

"You'd need...40 at the least, but Clarke, there's a deficiency of dropships, you know that. If we were being economical here... the smallest dropship houses 125. I don't think Jaha will approve any of this without at least 100 of those seats being filled."

"And if I discretely find 100 people?"

"No. You can't start spreading this around, Clarke."

"I wont. I wont tell anyone anything. I'll just... discretely find out who would be interested, or who would be desperate enough not to care about impending death."

"Who on Earth-"

"Prisoners about to be floated anyway. Not all of them, and certainly not involuntarily, but Jaha had an okay idea. Pretty much everyone in solitary is for sure going to be floated, so there's no way they wouldn't hop at the chance of living. There's what, 6 more people right there! And I'm sure we can scrounge up some more kids whose chances of being floated are high, give them a better shot at Earth."

"Kids, Clarke. You're talking about kids. Criminal kids at that."

"There will be others. People in factory or agriculture whose children are getting sick because of air quality, who are desperate for a better life. They'd sign up in an instant and they'd be a hell of a lot more useful down on Earth than a bunch of politicians from first."

"Clarke, what you're talking about-"

"Just... can you write the request? You don't have to submit it until I give you the names of enough people...dad... We need to go. I'm begging you. Please."

"I'll do the rest of the research, okay? I'll get everything prepped but I do _not_ promise to get any balls rolling for you. I will not go through with this unless I have a damned good reason why you want to run away and probably die. Okay?"

"Thanks dad!" I kissed his cheek and nearly ran for the door. I had to talk to Aurora and Octavia. I had to see what they thought about all of this, if they wanted to walk out those spaceship doors, and never look back, if they wanted to be free.

* * *

"We're going to Earth." I said, the moment the door slid shut behind me.

"Sure sweetheart. I'll just run and pack up the car. Oh! Do remember to grab our gas masks! Radiation would be horrible for the kids!" Bellamy returned sarcastically.

"I'm serious."

"Surprisingly, so am I. What are you talking about, Princess?"

"My dad - he had this theory that plants and other animals adapted to life on a radiation filled planet and there are probably plants and fungus and stuff that totally life off that now, and soak all of it up. Like how that mushroom started growing everywhere after Chernobyl? Anyway, he thought it was probably to livable levels at this point so for kicks and giggles they sent a probe down and the readings were concurrent with his theory but the only way to test it for sure would be to send down humans and Jaha was all like - I know! let's send the juvenile delinquents! - and my dad was all - oh hell no - so now they decided it was too much of a risk, and that they'd just wait it out like we'd always planned, despite the fact that some people live miserable lives up here that could really flourish on Earth."

"O." He breathed out anxiously. I nodded.

"Anyway I've convinced my dad to get everything prepped so that if we can find 100 people who would be willing to get on the dropship - without promising them anything or alerting anyone to whats really going on, so it would have to be super surreptitious and kind of sneaky - then he can put the proposal through to Jaha and you, me, Aurora, and Octavia are going to go live on Earth so we can get ready for Cleo, Alexandra, Marc, Leo, and Raphael. Got it?" He stared at me in shock. To be fair, I had just said something rather shocking.

"How did I ever get so lucky as to end up with you?" I froze. He wasn't. He wasn't supposed to have ended up with me. He was supposed to end up with some other girl. Some other girl who would never put him at risk by taking him to Earth. Some other girl who he would have loved more than anything. Some other girl who would have loved him. His soul mate probably. He should have ended up with his soulmate and instead he got me. Yeah. Sure. Lucky guy.

"Can you grab me some paper?" I asked, avoiding the question in an incredibly not subtle way. He tossed it to me with my favorite not-drawing pencil and I numbered it 1-100.

So there's 6 people in solitary who are for sure gonna be floated, right? No way they don't take the potential out. I wrote them down. I'd say 60 of the other kids in jail are high probability floaters. Shall we say... 40 of them will chose to go down?

"30. Stay on the safe side." I ticked off those numbers with a 'p' for prisoners.

"Okay, then there's Raven and Finn. They'll definitely want to go. Raven already pretty much said it. She'll be useful. Engineer and everything."

"Us, obviously."

"Yup!" I wrote 'Blake' on four of the slots. He kissed my cheek.

"I bet you 500 bucks that Wells wants to go the minute he finds out what you're doing." He said. I rolled my eyes, but wrote his name at the bottom of the list, below the number 100.

"Last resort. His dad might tank the project if it means loosing Wells." He nodded as I jotted down Jasper Jordan and Monty Green's names. "I don't know what their parents will do, but the two of them want off the Ark, like yesterday."

"I bet Mrs. Kane wants to go down." He said quickly. "Tree keeper lady?"

"Marcus's mom. Yeah." I wrote her down. We spent the next hour and a half coming up with a list of people, both useful in starting a colony, and also who may not be particularly happy on the Ark. We had 150. Now we just had to go around and see if they were interested. Most of them were more likely to talk about this sort of thing with Bellamy, who despite his guard status, was still 'one of them' and they knew he wasn't about to start narcing on anyone. Their were maybe a dozen of them who would be fine talking to me. He looked at me and sighed.

"What if this doesn't work?"

"Then we find another way to get Octavia and your mom to Earth, Bell."

"You're a stubborn person, you know that?"

"Yeah but I'm _your_ stubborn person." I teased before I could stop myself. Only I wasn't. He belonged to someone else, and I didn't get to be his either. He reached for me with a grin, but I didn't think I could bear that just now. "I'm gonna go get started on my list." I said turning away and stepping out of his arms. "I'll see you later, okay?" I didn't wait for a response before I led our door slide shut behind me.

* * *

 **Poll: This smut was pretty mild... I wanted to grasp how people were feeling about how smutty this story should be before I wrote something really hot or lemony... should there be more Bellarke Porn?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Please keep the feedback coming! I love hearing from you guys and I love getting critiques so I can improve my writing! xoxo - E**

 **P.S. Warning: You all said you were fine with smut so... here's some smut.**

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

The door slammed behind me with a louder thunk than I thought was possible. It was oddly soothing but only for a moment.

"Clarke," Bellamy's voice, also disheartened, trying to assuage my anger was not what I wanted to hear right now.

"What?!"

"I'm sorry you got your hopes up on this. But it isn't the end of the world, you know? No one knows about O, and we can just..."

"Go back? Go back to where we're living within the strictest confines possible and O is miserable and just wants to, oh I don't know, walk down a hallway without fearing for her life? We can just pretend that there isn't this other place where she could run around to her heart's content, and we could..."

"We could what?"

"Live our lives, Bell. We could live our lives without the Ark's interference."

"The Ark's interference is what brought us together in the first place, Clarke, I don't think we can _completely_ begrudge that." No it wasn't. Shumway forgetting to take you out of possible matches is what brought us together. And Shumway has nothing to do with the actual governing systems on the Ark. But of course I didn't say that. Because I was a damned coward.

"Jaha said no. But that doesn't mean we still can't do it."

"Ummm yeah. I think that's exactly what it means babe. We can't steal a dropship. You'd need the launch codes from the council, and you know as well as I that your parent's aren't going to give us those for Christmas even if we put it on our lists."

"I didn't say I was going to steal a dropship. I said I was going to go to Earth."

"Clarke. This plan... what you are trying to do here is incredible and I love you for it, but this isn't a possibility. This isn't something you can do, and it's okay for you to-"

"I'm, not, giving, up." I hissed each word at him before rushing for the door and storming out.

"Clarke! Where are you going?!"

"To find a way!"

* * *

Weeks passed, and then a month. Before I knew it, my 19th birthday had arrived, and still, I was no closer to finding a way to Earth than I had been before. I pressed Jaha regularly for the dropship, and just as regularly, I received a disheartened sigh and an exasperated 'no' in reply. My mom and Bell threw me a party, but it was... flat and empty. Octavia and Aurora worked together to restructure some old leather boots into a pair that were rather magnificent not to mention kept my feet warm at all times. I loved them. But I couldn't help but think about how they'd be put to much better use traversing a forest floor on Earth.

"Clarke, you need to stop." Bell told me as we put our toothbrushes away. "This idea... it's consuming you. I understand why you want it but maybe it's time to accept that it just isn't going to happen and that we-"

"No."

"It's eating you up. You barely look at me anymore." That had nothing to do with my passion project, and everything to do with the damn test. The guilt was eating me more than anything else. _The right girl could get Bell to Earth. The right girl would be able to save Octavia._ The words pulsed inside my head so often I found myself repeating them over and over and over again to the point of giving myself a headache.

"I'm just tired, Bell."

"I know. And if you used your nights to sleep instead of attempting to change the course of our future, perhaps you might not be so tired."

"I sleep."

"You toss and turn, and stare at the clock. That's not the same thing as sleeping."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was waking you up." I apologized, biting my lip. "I'll try to be more still."

"What? No. That's not... I don't care about that Clarke, I care about you. You need to stop. This isn't healthy."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Clarke!" He raised his voice, grabbing my arm and forcing me to look him in the eye. "Babe, I... I just want you to be happy. That's so much more important than-"

"Than letting your sister out from under the floorboards? From saving your mother from floating when someone inevitably finds out? It's gonna happen sooner or later, and I need to get her out of here before it does." His eyes filled with a pain of the acutest kind and I softened a bit. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't snap at you. I know you're doing everything to protect them, and me, and... I'm sorry." He pulled me tightly against his chest and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Let's just... let's talk about something else, yeah?" He suggested. "You know our anniversary is coming up. A month and change. It's almost been a year."

"Our wedding anniversary." I nodded. "But Bell, today is the anniversary of when we officially met."

"And when you told Jaha off when he suggested we say no." He added with a smirk.

"And when you got down on your knee and proposed to me." I shook my head. "I always dreamed about Old Earth traditions, and then you stop into my life and ply me with a half dozen traditional moments within the first month." Aaaaaand my mind went back to thinking about Earth.

"Looks like the Test knew what it was doing, then." He said, leaning in for a kiss. And _there_ it was. The dagger. I let him kiss me and I prayed he couldn't feel the few tears which had escaped my eyes. A small ding distracted him from my obvious upset, coming from Bell's pocket. Dad had gotten him a cell so they could call each other and talk even when they couldn't actually hang out, but Bell had downloaded so many games and apps on that thing... it was kind of ridiculous. Yeah some were for Octavia to play with but still. He pulled back, flushing a bit.

"What?" I asked. I knew that look. "What did you do?"

"Okay, so don't think this is weird or anything..."

"Cause that's what you want to hear."

"No! No, I just..."

"Bell," I began warningly.

"You're ovulating right now."

"I'm sorry, _what?!"_

"Yeah, your mom showed me this app, and I can just log in your cycles and it tells me when your ovulating."

"Your cell dings when I'm ovulating." It wasn't a question, not really, that was one of the most Bellamy things I had ever heard.

"Yeah. So..."

"So I'm supposed to ignore how absurd that is, and we should go to bed, is that what you're saying?"

"If you don't agree, I would love the opportunity to persuade you to join me in bed regardless." He muttered, his lips making contact with my neck, his mop of hair tickling my skin as he traced patterns into me. His hands gripped my ribs, sliding up and down, making my skin tingle with excitement.

"I think..." I sighed out as one of his legs slipped between mine, entwining us fully. "I think I might need to be persuaded a bit." I lied, my hands gripping his shirt tightly so I didn't fall completely off kilter. God what this boy did to me.

"Yeah?" He asked with a smirk. "You mean I have to _convince_ you, that you want me to bury my head between your thighs and lick you until you beg me to fill you with something, _anything?_ You're saying I have to persuade you, to let me make you cum so hard and so many times you forget your own damn name? Is that what you're saying?"

"Oh God, I love it when you talk dirty." He grinned at my breathy admission.

"Babe, I'm not talking dirty yet." I purred. I actually freaking purred at that.

"Bell..." I squeaked out as his hand wound itself in my hair and pulled ever so slightly.

"I'm going to claim you in every way." He growled in my ear, sending a shock down my body in the best way. "I am going to mark your skin with my lips, hundreds of times over until it's impossible for you to cover them all up. Until no matter what you do, or where you go, someone will see my marks on you, so that everyone who sees you will know that you're spoken for."

"Barbarian." I teased, happily.

"I'm going to make you fall apart on my tongue, over and over again, until you can't move your legs, until you forget your own name, and you can do nothing but lie there, while I bring you to the edge yet again." My hips were rocking back and forth, and I was rubbing myself against his leg, desperate for the friction to match his words.

"Clarke I'm going to make you cum like you've never cum before."

"What are you waiting for then?" I breathed out. He smirked at me.

"I'm going to do all of that." He promised.

"Yes, Bell."

"But first..." He took a long, deep breath, "first, I'm going to make you beg." I groaned in frustration and my asshole husband laughed. "Come on Princess, say please." Out of pure spite I refused at first. He would win eventually. I wanted him too much to just go to sleep now, but I still had my pride, and my pride said I had to hold out for at least a couple minutes.

"Not gonna happen, Blake." I said, both of us knowing it was a lie. His lips kissed the inside of my thighs, softly, his fingers stroking my hip bones. It would have been romantic if I wasn't so hot right now.

"Come on baby, I know you want me."

"I don't." I insisted, smirking as he narrowed his eyes. "I'm not lying to you, Bell. I don't want you." I paused, about to give the best apology I could manage in this situation. "I need you. All the time. It isn't desire, between us, it's necessity. I can't live without you, and the word 'want', well Bell... that's just not gonna cut it." I was still reclining back on our bed, but I could see his eyes, darkening and... glowing? Was that the word? They gleamed in the dim light of our pod and I realized a moment later that it was because they had grown moist.

"Clarke," He murmured softly. "You are, without a doubt, my soulmate in every way. I know we fight, and bicker too much, and I know I just cause you problems, but I know that we can face all of this together, you and me, because we're meant to be together. I can't live without you either, Clarke." As he spoke, he moved up over me and nestled into me, holding me tightly against him and I held him tightly too. Unwilling to let him go just yet.

"Bell." My own eyes were threatening tears, half over the beauty of the sentiment, and half over the constant reminder that it was a pure accident that we were together, that it shouldn't have happened, wouldn't have happened if Shumway hadn't pulled his name... or if he hadn't forgotten to pull it this year. Dear God. I had to stop. I had to stop torturing myself like this and just be grateful that all those mistakes happened and I got him.

"Mmmm." His head was resting against my chest, and he was softly nuzzling against my skin.

"Bell, please." I said. In an instant, the sentiment and love took a sharper edge and Bell's eyebrow rose suggestively as he pushed himself up and traveled down my body.

"Since you asked so nicely," He began. He didn't finish his sentence. Instead, he plunged two fingers inside me and tongued my clit, sucking it between his lips the moment I cried out for him. He certainly wasn't taking his time tonight. His actions were hurried, deep and passionate, and one right after another, making my head spin trying to keep up with the sensations waving through me. His fingers moved around inside me, searching out that place that made my back arch and my toes clench happily. When he found it, much to my delight, his fingers began to massage it. My hands gripped the sheets tightly as his fingers worked their magic and I could feel myself getting close. When I was nearly there, he backed off, denying me that climactic finish. I didn't even complain. I knew by now, that the Bellamy specialty included a few 'almosts', and that the end result would be greater for it. He was careful to wind me up a few times before my first orgasm, literally soaking me, him, the sheets, or whatever surface we were up against. (That stain in the living room was hard to explain, we hadn't been focused on clean up and it has soaked in pretty deeply.) He wanted me to be ready for him, he never wanted to hurt me with his own pleasure. He was a gentleman that way. I smirked at the cheesy thought but the look was wiped away as his fingers fondled that spot inside me again. His lips descended once more and this time, the motion was paired with his tongue, moving the tip of my clit, and his lips pressing into the rest of it, beneath the surface. The sensations were too much.

"Babe." He muttered, not bothering to remove his lips, the vibrations sending chills up my spine. "I told you I was gonna make you fall apart." I groaned in response, trying to verbalize that he was damn close, but the words wouldn't come. "Princess, play with your nipples." He urged me. One hand inside me, his mouth ripping away my sanity between my legs, his other hand was wrapped around my propped up leg, pressing my hips into the mattress. "Please babe. I wanna try something." I couldn't say no to him, even if I had wanted to, and of course, I didn't want to. My own fingers were, with great difficulty, removed from where they hung onto our sheets in an attempt to feel less like I was flying through space, (which of course, we were, but that's... never mind. Now is not the time for thought tangents Clarke.) and I sought out my breasts. I began to knead them, my nipples already hard and sensitive.

"Bell." I cried out, hearing a sob in my voice as I did.

"Harder Clarke." He demanded against my clit. I narrowed my massage in on my nipples and pinched one tentatively. My whole body shook. It wasn't an orgasm, not yet, but it was... almost too much and impossible to describe. There was so much sensation. I could feel the tension building in more than one spot inside me and I started to think that we were about to test out that multiple orgasm thing. The thought only spurred me on more. I did as he asked and I allowed my own hands to be governed by the absolute need I was feeling. My back was arching and I was close. His fingers were rubbing on my g-spot harder and harder and his face was pressing in and massaging my entire clitoris so intensely, I was already certain this was going to be earth shattering. My own hands had no more patience in them. I needed to cum. Now. I rubbed against my nipples furiously, the friction and pressure combining with the visual of what Bell was doing between my legs. I felt it coming but in the midst of all of this, I was unable to warn him.

My orgasm shook my entire body. I heard something that sounded like a crash nearby, but I wasn't sure if it was real, or there was just something in my head, a sound effect to these fireworks. The orgasm pulsed through me, my toes curled up so tightly my skin hurt from the stretching. I was screaming, that much I knew, but what noises... words? were coming out were beyond my own comprehension. Wave after wave of pleasure rushed over me and... oh god. Had I just peed? Bellamy groaned, his tongue lapping at me now, like a cat laps at milk. I stopped trying to think and I just gave into the release.

Minutes later, my heart had calmed down enough to process words.

"Bell." I breathed out, pulling him up towards me. He was eyeing me like a tiger eyes its prey, his face _dripping_ with my cum.

"Holy shit, Clarke."

"Baby that was-"

"You just..." He trailed off and grinned, far too widely. "Babe you..." He bit his lip, and if I wasn't mistaken, he was trying not to look proud? Amused? Something in between?

"Oh my god. Did I just pee on you? Oh my God oh my God oh my God I sort of felt... Oh my God Bell." I was mortified. Had I... I hadn't...

"No! Babe, no!"

"Oh thank God. Then what-"

"You... came." I snorted, my breath still coming out in pants.

"Yeah, obviously."

"Babe." He said again, looking at me like the he had just won the lottery or something. "Babe, you _came."_ His tongue swiped at the opaque fluid on his face. "You... ejaculated." He let out a laugh. "I made my wife ejaculate!" He crowed, pumping a fist in the air. I leaned back on my pillows, a smile coming over my face too. If that's what that was, I'd be happy for him to do it again some time.

"Huh. Always thought that was a rumor." I almost leaned over to kiss him, but stoped short, when I saw how _much_ of my cum was all over his face. "Did you try to catch it when it came out?"

"I wanted to swallow! Like you do! But how you get all of it in your mouth in the first place," He looked at me, not quite jealous, in awe? Of the fact that I could catch his cum?

"Bell, I think your aim might be better than mine." I teased him. "It's a touch easier for me to get you all down."

"We're gonna have to practice your aim then. Because one of these days, I'm going to swallow you down. All of you." I grinned.

"I suppose I wouldn't be opposed to practicing that particular skill."

"Tomorrow." He insisted.

"Tomorrow! Bell, I don't think I'm gonna be able to walk tomorrow, give a girl a break!"

"Yes tomorrow! I'd say tonight, right now, but there's something else I need to do first."

"What, wash your face?" I smirked.

"No you idiot. Did you already forget my stupid cell app? You're ovulating, babe, I'm about to knock up my wife."

* * *

 **A/N: So? Review/PM! Let me know what you thought! I know I'm cruel for leaving it there but we needed a nice, fun, lighthearted ending, and I didn't want to drag it into the next set of drama:) PLEASE PM me and let me know what you think! I feel like my smut is getting a bit repetitive, (Bell gets her uber wet so he doesn't hurt her, blah, blah, blah, we've been over this. Bell likes to eat out, mhmm. Lots of orgasms, yay.) Could anyone suggest other scenarios or... whatever to spice it up a bit? They aren't a boring couple so I don't want to repeat ideas and scenes too much. Help! xoxo - E**


	13. Chapter 13

**Keep all your suggestions/ideas coming!**

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

"Clarke." Raven murmured my name as her hand snaked around my arm, pulling me out of the crowd heading towards the cafeteria. "I need to show you something." We hadn't spoken since I'd told her our 'get to Earth' plan had gone bust. She'd gotten this stormy look on her face and had walked away without a word. But now she was pulling me into the cafe- wait. Nope. Into a closet. She was pulling me into a closet.

"You need to show me a closet?"

"Of course not you idiot." She groused in my general direction. "I just need to preempt this. I think I might've found a way down. A not necessarily legal way, down. I think... I just... how serious are you about this, Clarke?"

"How many people?"

"What?"

"How many people could go down?"

"Me and Finn, You, Bell, and his mom, and one other with provisions."

"I've got another." I said quickly. Maybe too quickly, but Raven was as deeply embroiled in these illegal activities as I was, and she wasn't about to turn me in even if she suspected something. "I need 4 spots."

"I only need two. There are 6 seats, so, with a few provisions smuggled away, hopefully some med packs, even if it's only first aid..."

"I'm in. Show me, show me now." We snuck out of the closet and she led me through hallways and back doors into the depths of 12th station. In a run down old storage room, filled with backup generators, and ancient tech that the ark would only every use in an absolute emergency... and... a pod? Was that a pod?

"I found a pod." Raven confirmed.

"Does it work?"

"It will." She said, sounding more self assured than I'd ever heard her. "You and your three peeps had better start stockpiling. I can get her ready to go in a couple of weeks if I can beg a few parts from your dad which I'm sure I can."

"He can't know."

"I'm not an idiot, Clarke."

* * *

We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going to Earth. We were going- I punched in the code to our pod and storm in, making my way to our couch, my fingers tapping against my thighs anxiously. Happy anxious. _I think that's called 'excited', Clarke._ I sighed, and glanced at the clock. Bellamy would be done with his shift in 20 minutes. And then I could tell him. We were going to Earth.

Soon... once Raven had a timeline for how long it would take to get this thing working and get us out of here, we could even tell Octavia and Aurora. Octavia would step foot on green grass and eat fresh fruits and hot meat until her stomach ached it was so full. She would be able to run, and laugh, and be as loud as she liked because it wouldn't matter if someone had heard her. Aurora could lose that perpetual crease between her brows, and be a mother who wasn't worried that her daughter would be taken from her in an instant. She could watch her daughter thrive, and her son find joy in life, and hopefully, she could watch us bring her first granddaughter into the world. And Bellamy, Bellamy could have what he finally deserved. I could give that to all of them.

So the damn test could suck it. I might not be Bell's true match but I was getting him and his family down to Earth so maybe, just maybe, we were meant to be anyway.

The ding of our door sounded a few minutes early and I leaped to my feet rushing towards him.

"We're going to Earth!" I called out happily.

"We're what?" The tall body I slammed into smelled distinctly _not_ like Bellamy. The Engineering suit he wore in place of the guard's uniform I had been expecting was also a fair sign that this wasn't my husband.

"Dad?" I asked, looking up with a furrowed brow. "What are you doing here?"

"Came over to chat with Bell." He shrugged with a smile. "What are you doing going to Earth?" I flushed.

"It's... I thought you were Bell, it's a thing, a, a joke between us." He looked at me curiously before his face dropped and he flushed bright red, his mouth dropping in abject horror.

"Oh my God Cece I do _not_ want to hear about your weird sex things with your husband."

"OH MY GOD DAD, NO!" I screamed. "It's not..." I buried my face in my hands. "Bell will be home soon. I'm going to try to erase this memory from my mind."

"From _your_ mind?! I'm the one who just visualized my daughter's weird innuendos!" He called after me, half in horror, and half thrilled he could make me this uncomfortable. I of course was mortified for more reason than one. First of all, my father seemed to think I had weird sexual innuendos with my husband aka his new best friend and had decided it would be okay to TEASE ME ABOUT SUCH THINGS and second of all... _I had just almost ruined the whole thing and told my dad about the super big crime we were about to commit!_ Jesus, Clarke. You're really good at this whole vigilante thing.

"Babe?" Bell's voice peirced the air along with another 'ding' of our pod door.

"Hi honey, welcome home." My dad replied before I got the chance to say a thing.

"Sorry, I'm late darling," Bell replied to my dad with a grin as I stepped out into the front room. "Traffic was hell." The pair of them proceeded to burst into laughter as if this exchange had been the funniest thing to happen in the last hundred years and hug each other tightly.

"Hey Jake!"

"How was your day?"

"Up in first? With all you pansies? Piece of cake. You?"

"Haha. My day was wonderful... that is until your wife assaulted my ears with your filth."

"Oh my God, dad, stop." I groaned, covering my face with my hands as Bell walked over and kissed my temple, squeezing my shoulders in a 'hello' greeting that was parent-appropriate.

"Did she?"

"Seriously, no." I cut in.

"You two need better innuendos, that's all I'm saying." Dad shrugged, clearly enjoying my panic.

"You think you and Abigail have better innuendos than Clarke and I?"

"WHY ARE WE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION?!" I screamed. They ignored me.

"Oh I know we do." My dad replied, the pair of them completely ignoring my pleas to steer the discussion elsewhere. "But to avoid mortifying my daughter any more than is strictly necessary as her parental unit I won't attempt to prove it. I'll just say this, 'we're going to Earth?' That's weird. I know you're both into Earth Studies and stuff but, _man!"_

"Wait, what?" Bell asked, his face suddenly growing serious as his eyes darted towards me for a moment.

"I walk in the door, and my daughter comes barreling towards me yelling 'we're going to Earth' and then I had to try to figure out what exactly that meant." My dad laughed and shook his head before realizing that he was the only one laughing. "Okay, what's going on with you two? You look like someone just hit you with a bus." I sighed.

"It's a position, dad." I finally shot out, covering the awkwardness. "And we look like that because we're _having this discussion with my dad."_ I hissed.

"Okay. Well on that note, I'm gonna go! And bleach my brain or something."

"Mhmm. You do that pops." The door slid shut behind him and still the two of us just stood still, motionless.

"So..." I started. "I have some news."

"Clarke," He broke out awkwardly. "Did Jaha-"

"Nope. Found another way."

"How illegal?"

"We're all gonna die if they find out."

"Okay."

"But I don't think they will. Which means, Bell?"

"Yeah?"

"We're going to Earth." His eyes snapped to mine and in an instant he had marched across the short distance between us and pulled me into his arms, kissing me senseless. We were a flurry of action. His hands were in my hair, tugging in that way he knew drove me crazy. One hand pulled me closer while the other tugged my head back to expose my neck, his teeth making their way across my skin, biting, sucking, kissing, and otherwise lavishing his attention across my jugular. He stepped forward, backing me up into the wall and he pressed his full body length against mine, his arousal prominent and pressing against my stomach. I had his shirt fisted between my fingers but I let it go to wrap one arm around his shoulders holding him, while the other made it's way between our legs, fumbling for the waistline of his pants. I slipped my hand in and circled him tightly. Bell groaned into me and thrust upwards, into my grip. He put his hands on either side of my head on the wall behind me, and leaned into me as I shoved his clothes out of the way and pulled his heaving cock out. I was growing heady and dizzy and my mind could only comprehend two things right now: the fact that we were going to Earth, and this overwhelming, all encompassing need I had to be filled by him right this very minute. As soon as he was exposed, I rushed to shove my own pants down onto my thighs and guided him to my entrance.

With a single thrust he shoved into me, letting out a guttural moan. I reached down and gripped his ass, still partially covered in his guard's uniform, and pulled him into me, whimpering, gratefully. He shifted his weight on the second thrust so that his forearms rested against the wall, our faces close but never touching. We didn't speak. I pulled him into me as his hips thrust forward. My gaze was glued to his brown eyes, misting over with lust, and a softer emotion. With a stutter, his hips moved quickly, and with great force and my eyes watered at the deep sensations. Stroke after stroke, he filled me deeper and deeper, and we fucked each other until all at once and out of nowhere, I came, hard, fast, and without a single thought. I cried out as he pulled out of me and spun me around, pressing me into the wall, he entered me again, swiftly, long before I could recover from the throbbing in my cunt. I screamed then, into the wall of our pod as he continued his deep, aching strokes inside of me. This new angle was deep and his balls swung forward with each thrust, stimulating my clit. A noise I couldn't name bubbled out of me as his hands found where mine were pressed into the wall and covered them, entwining our fingers as we fucked mercilessly.

And then he was cumming, just as hard, just as fast, and with a growl that sent chills down my spine. I was so close to my second orgasm, I didn't waste time cooling off. His hand still wrapped in mine, I reached down to touch myself, and used his fingers to frantically rub at my clit until I came.

Minutes later as we came back to our senses, it was all too easy to put ourselves to writes. A quick wipe with the kitchen towel (which was instantly placed in the laundry) and I could pull my pants back up over my hips, as he tucked himself away, still panting.

"Clarke." He said with a groan, his hand reaching out to cup my cheek. "I love you." And for once, I didn't feel guilty about that.

"I love you too, babe." I grinned, kissing him, deeply, and slowly. "So freaking much."

* * *

Within a week, Raven had given us a list of things she needed to get the old pod back and running again, and even had a timeline worked out. If all went well, we'd be standing on Planet Earth in less than a month. After all the time spent trying to find a way, the knowledge that it would only take 3 weeks for those plans to come to fruition... it was overwhelming.

"So... we can tell them now?" Bell asked with a grin. "Do you want to do it?" I offered, my heart hoping he'd let me be there.

"This was all you, Clarke. You should be the one to tell them. I'll ask if we can bring over dinner tonight and you can do it then." I beamed at him, and he kissed the tip of my nose before leaving for his morning shift. I grabbed my bag and made it down the hallway towards First Station Med Bay.

"Hey! Clarke!" A loud voice echoed a bit around the empty hallways.

"Wells." I said turning around.

"Hey! I feel like it's been forever since we've seen each other!"

"I know - my fault. Walk with me to work?" He fell into step with me and we picked up the conversation.

"Not _entirely_ your fault!"

"Mostly!" I countered with a smile. "Work's been crazy, and Bell and I are... well we've been busy."

"You look really happy Clarke."

"I am." I grinned at him. "I'm really, _really,_ happy."

"I'm glad."

"Thanks. What about you? What's been going on with you?"

"I've... I've been seeing Fox. A _lot_ actually."

"You... what?"

"Yeah, with her husband cheating and everything, she came to me to ask who she should go to to talk about an annulment, and maybe being rematched. She still want's a child someday, obviously, and she shouldn't be penalized because the Test matched her with a right ass, you know?" I slowed down and stared at Wells. How had I missed all of this? One of my best friends had... started a life with someone, someone whose name was currently escaping me, and then he had cheated on her and she hadn't even told me! And on top of all of that, she had decided to apply for an annulment, and, what? Date my other best friend?

"Wells,"

"I don't know, Clarke. I guess... it was just fun at first. We've always liked hanging out when we've been with you, and then I was helping her navigate the legal system up here, and pick the right legal aid, and then she was so upset by everything, and people were talking, and all that shit about guys who've cheated in the past came up and she needed a friend and I guess, I got to be that for her." He was beaming now. It was clear he wasn't even aware of what he was accusing me of right now. She'd needed a friend. And that friend was so far away from what I had been for her in the past year that she didn't even try to come to me. "Anyway, I realized how much I liked her and when it came time to ask for her rematch, she asked for them to hold off and I thought maybe she felt the same and it was just casual at first, you know? I didn't think it was going to go anywhere, but it's been so good between us and we both really just want to see where it goes." He stopped walking and it took me a few minutes to realize that it was because we had reached the Med Bay.

"Wow. Wells... I'm so happy for you guys!" I managed, pulling him into a hug. He grinned indulgently, like h always did.

"We gotta catch up soon. Maybe you and Bell can join us for dinner some night?"

"Absolutely!" I returned as cheerfully as I could manage, full of panic and horror at the sort of friend I had become. "Soon."

"Yeah. It's been almost a month and I don't think I can go that long without you again!" More guilt. More and more and more guilt. It eases up with Bellamy, and it increased tenfold for Fox, and Wells, and everyone else I'd be leaving behind. Today was supposed to be filled with hope and happiness, and joy for the future, not doubt and self-loathing and yet... yup. There was the self-loathing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Sparks flew around her head and in that moment, with her leather head to toe gear, orange and white hit pinpricks of light illuminating the air around her, Raven looked like some sort of angel from hell. It was oddly terrifying and comforting at the same side. She may be batshit crazy, and she may be dangerous, but she was on our side. The pod was coming along nicely. It was located in the middle of nowhere on the Ark and this room, as it at some point had been built to launch and land space pods in was vacuum sealed and had a separate source for oxygen, not to mention the individual control panel. No one could hear us working away in here. And on top of all of that, if we could sneak Octavia in here when the time was right, we could lock ourselves in here and they wouldn't be able to stop us from launching. Not that I was preparing for a firefight when shit hit the fan and they all found out what we were doing, but I was preparing for a firefight because knowing my luck shit would absolutely hit the fan and we would all be chasing the clock and fighting to get off this damn space craft.

It was giving me anxiety.

It was also giving me some of the best sex of my life. Hope and happiness were powerful things in a relationship and they were things that Bell and I had learned to get by without. Now that we had those things... well... there had been several, uh, _incidents,_ wherein someone had, let's say, witnessed, our hope and happiness. There was no way in hell that Raven was gonna let us live that down. Even if the position hadn't been one of our more innovative attempts, the fact that it was in my parent's pod (THEY WEREN'T GOING TO BE HOME FOR HOURS) was enough to mock us for. Why she felt comfortable barging into my parent's living room whenever she felt like it was beyond me. The alarm on my cell com went off and I winced. I had to go.

To a thing I did _not_ want to go to.

* * *

My foot tapped anxiously against the chair next to me in the cafeteria. It felt weird eating in first again. I'd taken to grabbing a snack for lunch in the cafe near MedBay or, if I had time, running to eat with Octavia and Aurora, or meeting Bell for lunch in one of the outer stations, where people were, in general, a lot less uptight and obnoxious. But I was meeting Fox today. First time in a long ass time. We had hardly spoken and when I messaged her asking to meet up and catch up, her response had been to the point. No exclamation points. No all caps to express her excitement. We weren't best friends anymore. The sudden realization had hit me hard, and I felt an odd sort of melancholy. I shouldn't lament this. I'd be leaving the Ark behind in a few weeks time, but... I felt a need to apologize for being such a bad friend. To find a way to help her in some way before I left, to thank her for all the friendship she'd given me for so long.

"Clarke." My head shot up.

"Fox!" I leapt to my feet. She smiled warmly at me as we stepped forward to embrace. Warmly. Not hatefully or angrily, but not ecstatic or over-enthused either.

"It's been an age!" She said, quickly. My face fell.

"I know. I know I've been..."

"Hey." She cut in, sadly. "I get it, okay? He's... a really special guy. I just hope we can find a way to be friends again. I've missed you." I sighed.

"I've missed you too!" I insisted, pulling her into the seat beside me and practically beaming when her smile grew at my words. "Life has just been so... With the new job, and new marriage, and... well there's a lot. I'll tell you about it later. But you talk! Tell me about what's going on with you all of a sudden I ran into Wells and he was saying things that made no sense, I mean I hadn't even... I'm a horrible friend. I've been so self-involved. I won't let my life take over anymore, I promise." I winced. It wasn't not true... but not being self-involved wouldn't exactly help foster friendship between outer space and the Earth. And that was if we made it down alive.

"Umm... well, things have been... really good?" She said, as if it were a question. "I had planned on asking for a rematch, cause I do want a baby, you know, but... I'm not sure if I can give Wells up. He's a really special guy, and it just, I, I can't imagine having a baby with someone who isn't him. But on the other hand, he's gonna be such a good dad and I don't want to deprive him of a baby by not letting him match, and I guess I'm just not sure what to do."

"Marry Wells and adopt." I said instantly. "Or go to Jaha and demand that he check to see if you guys are compatible enough with the test to be manually matched."

"That's not a thing, Clarke." She said, her brow furrowed.

"Neither was the new air test system in the outer stations until I demanded Jaha to go along with it. You two could be the couple who changes how we get married on this stupid hunk of metal! People could still get matched if they wanted, but they could also take their significant others to be tested to see if it's a good enough match! The reason we have people overseeing the tests is because on average there are half a dozen great matches, and even more moderately good matches. They get to see the pros and cons of each relationship, the stats on potential offspring, all of that and decide from there. So even if he wouldn't be your first match, your comparison could be like... difficulty conceiving, which is not insurmountable, just really freaking annoying, believe me, or it could be, I don't know, they don't think you pair well as roommates or whatever but you guys have already figured all of that out and it wouldn't be an issue! You should go for it!" Fox was frowning at me, a question in her eyes.

"Clarke, I..."

"I mean obviously if you don't want to do that, there is adoption, you know, or... you guys could wait awhile to ask to be rematched. Keep trying the relationship to make sure it's absolutely what you need."

"In case we were to break up, you mean. Keep dating for now, and then make sure this relationship is gonna last." I laughed.

"God no. I've never seen Wells like this. That boy is going to love you until he's long gone."

"Clarke... I... I'm confused."

"By which part? Sorry. Bell is always telling me I talk to fast." I grinned at the thought of him and had to bite my lip to keep it from being to obvious.

"I... you know what? Just let me think on all of this for a while. I'll come back with any questions I have after I digest this. But... tell me about you! The knew job! A husband! Come on! Spill!" She leaned in conspiratorially and lowered his voice. "Is his _you know what_ as big as one might assume." I snorted and grinned.

"Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised on my wedding night, yeah?" Her eyes grew.

" _You guys had sex on your wedding night?!"_

"Fox. Have you seen my husband?" I returned teasingly. "I was locking that shit down fast." She laughed and motioned for me to continue as she took a bite of her food.

"So... you know we had been getting to know each other?" She nodded. "Well, we got home after the reception, and it was really, awkward. Suddenly living with another person. He had offered to keep staying with his mom when we first got married so I could adjust to being his wife before I had to adjust to another human in my space, but I kind of thought that it would be easier to just get it all over with, you know? So we were figuring out the living situation, and we decided to watch some TV before bed, which got us talking more about our tastes in shows, and sports, and everything, and... I guess one thing led to another and things got hot and heavy and we hooked up." I could feel the blush spreading across my cheeks. "Three... times."

"Oh. My. God." Her smile finally reached her eyes. "And his..." She gestured with her eyes to indicate which body part she was referencing. I held my fingers up and gave her a rough estimation. She gasped in delight and I couldn't help but feel the same sense of wonder and happiness thinking about my husband's cock. God I was sappy sometimes.

"And since? Has everything been... I mean Wells told me you and Bell were fighting and that your dad was pretty cut up about it. I know they all wanted you to marry Wells, so I thought that maybe," She stopped suddenly and didn't finish her statement. After an awkward pause, I answered what I thought was her question.

"Um... yeah. We're trying to have a baby and it's been," I sighed, looking down. "A struggle. We were so excited when I got my device out, and believe you me, we have been adamantly attempting to conceive," I said with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. "But so far... well anyway. It was stressful for a while, and we got into a few fights about it, and yeah, my dad was being weird when we were fighting. I think it's cause he and Bell were so close and he couldn't pick a side, to be honest." I took a deep breath. "But Bell and I have worked through it. We decided to take the stress off. I'm leaving my device out, and we're not going to stop having insane amounts of sex but we aren't actively trying. Just... takes all the pressure off. If it happens now it happens now, and if it doesn't happen for a year, great! Although he has downloaded this ovulation app, and he now knows more about my cycle than I do so when I say that I guess I mean that I've stopped trying, and I've taken the pressure off. I think he's still very active in attempting to impregnate me." I grinned. Fox's frown and furrowed brow was back and I faltered for a moment.

"Oh."

"Fox. What's going on? I know we haven't been close lately, but I want to fix that! And I know you're not telling me something!"

"It's not... that... I'm just really confused."

"About my getting knocked up?" I asked, perplexed.

"About you being... so freaking in love with your husband." Oh. The test. Her disaster of a marriage.

"I've been really lucky, Fox, there's no doubt about that, but things could be worse for you! You left the bastard and you're really happy now! And besides, maybe if you hadn't been married and needed legal advice, you never would have started to see Wells that way and you guys might not be together!"

"Why are you so happy that we're together?" She asked suddenly. "I thought you were just putting on a smile to be happy for us, because what else could you do, but you are so, so clearly in love with your husband. Your face lights up every time you think about him and you get this smile on your face that's... well it would be really annoying if I was single, let me tell you that."

"Why wouldn't I be happy that you're together?" I pressed her. "Fox, you are both obviously happy, I love you guys, that's what I want for you."

"But... you're in love with him."

"How does Bell feature in this story?"

"No... Wells?" Her voice was small now, questioning. I spat out my drink.

"I'm sorry, _what?!_ "

"Isn't... I thought that the reason we haven't been close was because I was seeing Wells. I knew you'd thought you two would get paired. Hell, Jaha basically said you two were ready to defy the test if he'd approve a baby for you but he had said there were to be no exceptions, so-"

"He said _what?"_ My voice was no longer questioning. It was hard and angry. My gut had suddenly tightened and I was ready to hit someone.

"That there were no exceptions and that if you two wanted a baby you would have to marry whomever the test-"

"No. The other part. About us wanting to 'defy the test'? About-"

"There was practically a press release about it. Only not so official. Just... well gossip I guess, but Jaha himself kept confirming it. It's all we heard in first for about a month." My fist tightened.

"That bastard is using us for political gain and slandering my relationship with Bell in one fell swoop." I said, still slightly in shock. "How in the hell... _are you freaking kidding me?!"_

"Is that not... what happened?"

"Hell no!"

"Then what-"

"We all thought Wells and I would be paired and when we weren't I felt more relief than I have ever felt in my entire life! We were best friends but I was never in love with him and the thought of being with him and only him forever... or even the thought of being with him romantically at all... Yup. Still sends chills of horror down my spine. He's family but I almost had a panic attack over the idea of us having to marry. Then they called Bell and I found my sou- the love of my life and I have never been happier. Jaha tried to get me to say no, to sign out of the deal and just never have a kid, but I refused." Fox was staring at me blankly.

"Are you telling me that you haven't been avoiding me this whole time because you're upset I'm with Wells because you still love him?"

"NO!" I yelled, at least a dozen people looked at us curiously at that. Her eyes widened.

"Oh my God, Clarke! I thought I was breaking up our friendship over a stupid boy! I stayed up nights and nights over this! What the actual hell, Jaha?!" I pulled her into a hug.

"I've been so busy. With the new job, and figuring out how to be a wife, and this baby stress... I haven't made my friends a priority. I only found out about you and Wells a few days ago when I ran into Wells for the first time in like a month. And then I felt like a horrible friend because I hadn't even known you were having issues in your relationship!"

"I didn't want to bring it to you because I thought that it would just remind you that the stupid test paired me with a dud, and didn't pair you with Wells!"

"Wow."

"New idea. Let's just tell each other everything from now on." I grinned at her.

"Deal."

* * *

"O?" I called out as I stepped into the pod. "Its just me." I dead bolted the door behind me and turned back to face the kitchen. The olive skinned minx was already standing in front of me arms held out, ready to attack me with one of her hugs.

"Hey Clarke!" She said through her grin. "Tell me everything."

"About what?"

"How's this Raven girl doing on building our escape pod? Have we stockpiled enough rations yet? Oh! You've got to see this! Mom used most of our savings to buy a TON of fabric and she's re-outfitting us for Earth! Have I told you how much I love leather? Because I've decided I do. I look badass in leather."

"Language O! What if you mom or Bell walked in? They'd know I was teaching you to swear and they'd be pissed!"

"Bell is working a double, and mom is fitting two brides in first today and you know damn well you first bitches take absolutely forever with your damn clothes, so I can say whatever the fucking hell I please!" I grinned.

"Oh. Well in that case..." I held up my tablet. "You wanna watch a movie? My mom gave us a bunch of theater points to use so we can rent almost anything from the archive." I had also brought a projection unit that Raven had jury rigged. It would take the image on the tablet and projected it much larger on the plain wall opposite their couch. Of course it actually mirrored the image, so whenever we watched films that I knew well, it took me aback to see the characters looking just slightly wrong and coming in from the wrong side of the screen. It wasn't a negative experience, just... different.

We settled in on a classic - Star Wars. I convinced her not to start on Episode I and we hoped in on IV like normal people. Octavia liked action movies, fighting, rebelling against the powers that be, generally with an underlying current of romance. I knew she's love Han and Leia as much as I did. I brought out some snacks I'd stolen from my parents - they didn't mind, and all of our spare ration points were going to stockpiling food, supplies, and the like.

I was right.

She freaking loved it. We had moved on to The Empire Strikes back by the time Aurora joined us, settling in on the couch, happy to rewatch a movie she had seen as a child. We sat in companionable silence and I reflected on how different all of our lives were about to be. We wouldn't be living on a Spaceship, we wouldn't be watching movies or reading books, or... there were a lot of comforts up here. Octavia curled up into my side and I glanced down at the girl with a smile. Not one of those comforts was worth half of what we were all giving up by staying. Octavia could be as loud as she wanted. She could run and dance and scream and it wouldn't matter who heard or saw her. She wouldn't have to hide. She wouldn't have to be so lonely all the time. Raven and Octavia would get along well. It really was too bad that the only men we'd be on the planet with were her brother and _Finn_. Someone who wasn't good enough for her even if Raven hadn't claimed him. I scoffed. He was kind of an idiot. Raven had forgiven him. I hadn't, but I'd moved on. I didn't judge her decision and she didn't judge mine, but I didn't think either of us really understood where the other was coming from.

Finn hadn't just been Raven's boyfriend, he had been her whole world, her entire family. Even if they weren't together romantically, Finn would always be a part of Raven's life. For me it was different. Finn was a rebel. Okay not really, but being with him had felt... rebellious. He had just broken up with his long time girlfriend (or so he led me to believe) and he was a kid from the wrong side of the Ark. He was kind, funny, and he looked at me like no one else had. I had been heartbroken when I found out that he had lied to me, that he and Raven weren't just 'still together' but were planning on getting married one day, no matter what the Test said. Wells had been strongly of the opinion that Finn had only dated me because he had, in his misguided thought process, assumed that dating up and getting my connection to him would have improved his social standing for the Test. Of course the Test didn't actually mark social standing in its final findings, but having a recorded friendship with my parents or Godparents, the current chancellors, probably wouldn't have hurt him in his career. Besides. He and Raven had both declined testing. Rare, not unheard of, but rare as it meant giving up the option to procreate. But hey, Raven never wanted kids in the first place.

The door slid open and I all but leaped on top of Octavia - not that that would have done us any good if it had been the guards, but the instinct prevailed over common sense.

"Sorry. Miller came in early so they let me come home." Bell said, running his hand through his slicked back hair. "The lights were off. I assumed someone was sleeping. Didn't think to knock or message." Aurora and Octavia smiled, uncaring, but the heart attack I had just experienced was slow to wear off.

"Shit Bell." I breathed, clutching my heart. Aurora tsked nurturingly and stood to great her son. When they both sat back down, I noticed that my husband had managed to take her seat on my right, his left arm instantly curling around me. As we settled back into the movie, his right arm reached across his body to caress my side and I shivered.

"Sorry Clarke." Octavia said, leaping to her feet. "It's gotten really cold in hear since they turned the power down." It had been an Ark wide cool down, but I had noticed with a great amount of anger that it was _far_ cooler in _certain_ areas of the Ark. She threw a blanket at me and traipsed back over.

"Oh! No, I'm find, O. I don't-"

"Nonsense." Bell answered for me, smoothly lifting the dark green fabric and pulling it over our laps. "You're always cold. Let us warm you up a little." His voice sounded far too innocent. But surely he wasn't about to _do_ anything in the same room as his mother, on the same _couch_ as his _baby sister_. Right? _R_ _ight?!_

 _Wrong._

His fingers slipped beneath the hem of my shirt and his calloused hands padded at my side. It wasn't terribly scandalous, he never dipped below the waist of my pants, or ventured up further than my lowest rib, but still.

Slowly.

Torturously slowly, his fingers worked past every barrier I had up until I was practically melting into him, desperate for more. The movie wasn't helping. As Han and Leia's relationship heated up on screen, he pulled me closer and closer to him. I had to admit it, I was always a _little bit_ turned on by Han and Leia fighting, and falling in love. Bell's hand, his breathing heavily in my ear, and his body pressed against mine increased the feeling by tenfold. When they kissed, Han's lips cutting of Leia's poorly crafted comeback, Bell suddenly reached down and grasped my crotch over my pants. I gasped, quietly I hoped, and squirmed.

"Bell." I muttered, intending the word to sound threatening. It hadn't. It had sounded like I was begging. He continued to press into my sex and just when I started to throw all caution to the wind and press back, desperate for more of him he suddenly pulled away, making to stand up.

"Clarke, it's nearly 10."

"Um, yeah?" I replied weakly wondering where the Hell he was going with this. He looked at me, exasperated.

"Babe, we promised Wells and Fox we'd come over for game night after my shift. It ended half an hour ago. We're gonna be late and Fox is already freaking about the whole thing."

"Oh! Yeah!" I said, wondering when my husband had become such an incredible actor. "Why don't we leave the tablet? You guys can keep watching - there's plenty of film points on there. Password's rosethorn1 if it locks you out." Bell took my hand after I gave Aurora and O a quick hug and we bounded out of the room, hearing Aurora deadbolt the door behind us.

"You absolute ass, your sister was sitting right next to me!" I hissed at him as we tore down the hallway towards our pod. He laughed happily and pulled me back, pressing me up into the wall and kissing me thoroughly. His hands canvased my sides and I moaned into his lips, locking my arms around his neck. "Bell." I murmured into our kiss.

"I've been thinking about you all day." He growled as his lips took a break for us to breath before he attacked my mouth once more. "I want you."

"Mmm, yes Bell." I breathed out. Suddenly he stepped back, grabbing my hand once more and pulling me along, desperate to get to our rooms. We should have picked a pod in Factory dammit! We made two more, desperate make-out stops before we finally reached our rooms and Bell jammed in our pass code, shoving me inside as soon as the door slid shut behind us, his eyes almost predatory as he eyed me up. My clothes were off before the door locked behind us.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: I know you all said smut but then this chapter was about 8000 words long because I really, really, really, want to get into the next part and I didn't want to cut it off anywhere so... I skipped the smut scene in favor of plot. Sorry. The chapter is over 4000 words as it is though so I'm not _that_ sorry. Anyway... think of this as like a week or more later. **

* * *

**Chapter 15**

"Clarke." I could feel Bell's lips press against my head as he whispered my name and I moaned, leaning into him.

"Mmmm, babe."

"Ew. Clarke." Raven Rayes voice was loud and far too close by for me to continue on in the direction my mind had been going. I opened one eye and found her, standing next to Bellamy over my bed.

"Are you guys here to kill me?" I asked rolling over with a sigh. "Cause it kinda feels like you're here to kill me."

"Yeah. Bellamy and I fell in love and now we have to murder you so we can be together." Raven deadpanned. "Get up. It's time." I shot up, nearly hitting my head on Bellamy's.

"What?"

"Things went by faster than I thought. It's ready for launch sequence in an hour. I know we planned for next week but if you're in... I mean..." Raven shrugged. "Now would be kind of ideal. Guard presence is at its all time low right now so sneaking Octavia away would be easier than taking rations from a Ag stationer. It's possible no one would even know what happened for days, which would give us time to settle in on Earth before we had to transmit a message back. You said you were all done with our health trackers?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "They aren't synced to the Ark, but we wouldn't do that til we landed anyway. I was hoping for a test run but Monty did the coding. I'm sure they're fine."

"We have enough rations and clothing stockpiled for a month on Earth." Bellamy added. "So... we're sort of ready to go."

"Early? We accidentally got done early?"

"Clarke, I know you were hoping for some more time to say goodbye but..."

"No. This is better. Mom would have started suspecting something if I'd drawn this out, I'm not very subtle. We should just go."

"Sick." Raven nodded, her eyes alight.

"So Finn's finishing packing a rucksack, and you guys should get Aurora and your dad, Clarke."

"My dad?!" I asked, nervously. "Why the hell would I-"

"Didn't you say you had a fourth?" She shrugged. "I kind of assumed it was your dad." I shook my head slowly.

"It's not my dad."

"Okay, well get them Ms. Cryptic. And anything else you need, let's go." And with that, Raven left. Bellamy handed me the hangers we had prepped weeks ago and I pulled on my Earth arrival outfit, my heart pounding in my chest. This was happening. Right now. We might die. Or we might be on Earth in a matter of hours. God this was exhilarating. I wore a long sleeve cotton shirt with a thinly knit sweater over the top. Aurora had promised to knit us all some heavier sweaters for the winter, but dad's drone had placed our drop point on Earth's atmospheric temperature averaging in the low 60s. Highs in the upper 70s, but night time, another layer would be helpful. I had reinforced grey leggings, good for agility but also for protection, a pair of long thinish wool socks, and tall leather boots that laced up to my knees. Quintessential Earth outfits. Bellamy was similarly dressed. Long pants with a short sleeve tee, a sweater thrown over for his extra layer. We both had faux leather jackets that I had splurged some major rations on. One for all the Blakes, actually. All four of us. His boots were wider, a darker color, and only went up just past his ankles. He looked... kinda sexy. Shit. We didn't have time to hook up just now. I slipped our toothbrushes and a few more tubes of paste into my heafty first aid kit. I had been teaching the other Blakes the basics of first aid and medical on Earth. I had this weird premonition of my getting eaten by a bear or something and then all of them dying because they didn't know to put antiseptic on these tiny cuts they had gotten and then they all would get an infection and... well anyway... I wanted them to know how to take care of themselves.

"Are you ready?" He asked me after a few moments in the silence.

"Our first home." I said gesturing around. "We had sex for the first time on that couch."

"We fought about TV on that couch." He added.

"We decided we were going to Earth in that bedroom."

"And now we're going to Earth. This place will always mean a lot to me, Clarke. It's where we started our lives together. But I can't seem to feel too nostalgic about the past when we are so close to stepping into our future together." I smiled serenely.

"And 5 kids?"

"Maybe. Maybe more."

"I swear, you're trying to kill me Blake!" He laughed and pulled me in for our last kiss in our pod.

We woke up Octavia and Aurora and within 15 minutes, they were ready to go. Bellamy went out into the hall to check our path and signaled me when the coast was clear. Within a few minutes, Octavia took her first steps out of their pod. Ever. I shook my head. It was astounding to think that this girl, who had only ever known the few dozen square feet of her mom's pod, was about to have all of planet Earth to explore. Good astounding, obviously. As we crept down the hallway, I realized that Sound of Music was running through my head. Maybe it was this whole sneaking around in dark halls, but I was starting to feel like we were running away from the Nazis or something. Maybe we would land near Austria! I knew we were aimed no where close but still. That would be interesting. We got to the room and Finn and I avoided eye contact, as per usual, and we all went about packing our remaining satchels in the escape pod. Octavia's eyes had been huge the entire walk. It was a new world for her, all this space, all this tech, and it was one she would only experience for a matter of hours, before being plopped on another new world, one no one on this Ark could claim to see. I squeezed her hand and she grinned at me widely.

"This is so freaking cool." She whispered, bouncing on her feet. Raven frowned at her.

"I don't know you." She said. Aurora, Bell, and I froze, not sure how to say anything... or if we should say anything. It felt wrong, revealing such a secret, but then again, it wasn't like they were going to call the guard, we were all in the midst of breaking the law, and it wasn't as if they weren't going to figure out who she was during the rest of our lives on Earth. Before we could say anything, however, O held out her hand and grinned at the older girl.

"Octavia Blake. Bellamy's cooler, prettier, smarter, baby sister." Raven looked at me for confirmation.

"It's true. She is way cooler, definitely prettier, and it would be reasonable to say smarter." I teased. "Come on. We'll have plenty of time to swap stories on Earth." I grinned at her. "Right Spacewalker?" Raven smiled sheepishly. She had accidentally revealed that she'd gone on an illegal spacewalk to me and my dad years ago. We didn't bring it up, in case we got in the habit of calling her Spacewalker only to say it in front of someone we really shouldn't say it in front of. But that didn't matter anymore. Those rules didn't apply.

"Okay. Let's get down to business." Raven said. "I've been running the pre-flight checks and we're all set. Normally, to open the hatch that we're going to launch out of, you need someone to do it manually from the other side of the airtight doors. It was intended to make sure no one else could dock without permission but it's kind of inconvenient when you want to leave without permission. That being said... _someone_ rather brilliant wrote some code which should break through the firewall and open the door from inside our pod."

"How about you save the gloating for when it works, Raven?" Bell asked gruffly. I knew he was both impatient to go, but also anxious that we were all about to plunge to our fiery deaths.

"How about you put a little faith in my girlfriend, Blake?" Finn replied stiffly.

"Chill, Finn. We're all anxious to get out of here, let's just... take it down a level." He rolled his eyes.

"You always did know how to ruin a good time, Clarke." He snorted. I could tell Bellamy was about to defend me but we did not need an alpha fight right now. Regardless of the fact that Bell would win hands down and then we'd have to deal with Finn pouting all the time, we had our own jobs to focus on. Raven climbed into the spacecraft, and Bell handed Aurora in after her. Finn was next and then O. Bellamy offered his hand to help me in and I saw the stiffness in his eyes.

"Actually, sir, I'd like the window seat if you please." The corners of his lips turned up a bit and he rolled his eyes.

"They're all window seats, Clarke." I raised my eyebrows at him and pursed my lips, crossing my arms and doing my best to look like a snob. He smiled. "Fine. Far be it from me to grant you anything your heart desires, my darling." He climbed in and reached out to help me up, unable to not be the perfect gentleman even in weird situations like this. We all fastened our belts and Raven shut the pod door, fastening everything in place. Here we go. This was it. We were leaving the Ark.

Engines rumbled to life near our ears and it was almost impossible to hear one another. Being the bowls of the Ark had some perks, however. There were no sleeping pods anywhere near us, and any additional noise would be blamed on some older machinery in maintenance mode at this hour of the night. There were few on the Ark who could tell the difference between an oxygenator self cleaning and the rumble of an engine. Raven was one of them and she was on our side, so...

Bell took my hand and smiled at me as O practically bounced in her seat. Aurora was silently praying, her lips moving and her eyes looking up. Raven pulled levers and pushed buttons and programmed... stuff. It all looked seemingly random but it obviously wasn't.

"Okay, ship is ready to launch." She yelled out. "Opening hatch doors now." She typed in something on the screen in her lap and we heard a grinding noise, like gears that hadn't worked in a while attempting to open an insanely heavy door. I smiled. This was it. O looked practically giddy and even Finn was sporting the odd smile. But not Raven. She was frowning, the crease in her forehead deepening. Oh God. Something was wrong.

"Raven!" I called out over the cacophony of noise. "What is it?"

"The hatch isn't opening! I don't know why! I..." Her fingers were moving rapidly now and she shook her head. "Dammit!" She screamed. She returned to the dashboard of the pod and the engine noise settled. "No point wasting fuel while I figure this out. Hang on, there's something blocking my code. I can get past it so stop looking so worried, it'll just take me a minute." Bell's fingers were now a vice on my hand.

"Bell. It's a short delay. We have hours until anyone even notices any of us aren't where we're supposed to be, and _here_ isn't exactly the first place they'll come looking. We can spare a minute. Let Raven do her thing."

"I'd say thanks for the confidence, Clarke, but I'm pretty sure that was all for Blake's benefit, and not because you actually believe in me."

"Shut up and work, Reyes." I snapped back.

"Knew it." She said with a smirk. I smiled. She always did work best when someone didn't believe in her. "Twenty minutes." She muttered to herself. "Probably less, but... unless I..." She then went off to sprout off what sounded an awful lot like random words and sounds that probably only made sense to her. Brilliant but crazy. God love that girl. Suddenly, a movement in front of the pod caught my attention. The door to the rest of the Ark was sliding open.

"Wrong door, Reyes." I teased. Her eyes shot up.

"Shit." She swore. "I... I don't..." Two figures appeared in the doorway and suddenly everything was happening in slow motion. Raven was typing furiously and Aurora was attempting to block Octavia from view. Finn was screaming something, I didn't know what, and Bell was swearing a storm. None of this seemed to register as more than a back thought in my mind, because I was staring into a pair of blue eyes I had known forever. My dad stared back at me, shock, horror, and terror all prevalent in his gaze. Another engineer was with him and the boy backed away, screaming for a guard.

"No." I heard the word escape my lips. We had been so close. We were about to leave. Everything was in place, everything was fine, we were going to Earth. Just a quarter hour more and everything would have gone off without a hitch. But now I was staring into my dad's eyes as one of his idiots called for the guard. We were all going to get floated. Octavia would never experience freedom. Bellamy would get sucked into the night, his eyes bulging as he took his dying breath. Raven's brilliance would be wasted. _Earth_ would be wasted. Octavia... Bell... Aurora... they were all going to die. We were all going to be arrested and floated and... I turned to look at Bell and saw only anguish in his eyes. He felt a failure.

"Raven." I cut in, the sounds around me still foggy and thick. "Start the engines."

"Clarke, we can't cut and run! We're trapped!"

"Start the damn engines."

"Clarke, it's over." Finn yelled at me.

"Don't let anyone follow me." I told Raven. "Lock the damn doors behind me and go."

"Clarke?" Bell asked, his brow scrunched up, and his eyes questioning my words.

"I can't watch you all die." I told him. "Bell, I love you. Even if we weren't meant to be together, I always have and I will until my dying breath."

"Clarke," he began warningly. "What are you-" I kissed him. Lightly, but enough to remember what he tasted like, a memory I would take with me into the black.

"Take care of them, Bell. And whatever you do, you have to live. I need you to live for me."

"Clarke! What are you-"

"May we meet again." Suddenly things weren't in slow motion anymore. It was all happening fast. So fast. Too fast. I unbuckled my belt and reached over to open the pod door. As I closed it behind me I heard Bellamy calling out my name one last time before Raven's engines cut him off. He was scrambling for his own belt, but I could see Finn getting in his way, pushing his hands away and doing his best to keep Bell in. A loud latch and a nod from Raven and I knew the doors were locked and sealed, and that Bell couldn't follow me. I didn't dare to take another glance back as I sprinted towards the Ark door. My father was no longer in view and I could only assume he had either gone to hurry the guard or run off so he wouldn't be implicated when the guard arrived. I slid the door open and all but fell through it, reaching for where I knew the release lever was. Raven had set it for release before we got on the Pod, so that all she'd have to do remotely was the final pull. The door slid shut behind me, just as another hand pulled the lever down. The sound of metal against metal was deafening and the rumbling of the pod engines grew immensely for just a moment, and then slowly disappeared into the distance. Blue eyes met blue eyes.

"Dad?" I asked.

"What are you doing, Cece?" He said, panting. "You were on the pod! You were..."

"Raven couldn't get past the second firewall. Someone had to pull the lever."

"I know."

"Dad you pulled the lever."

"I had to give you your best chance." He said. "They would float you for... oh my God. Cece."

"I know, dad. Its a sacrifice that had to be made." He sank to the floor, his face in his hands, and he cried. I slowly sunk down beside him. I was going to be floated. But Bell, and O, and Aurora, and Raven, and yeah, even Finn, they weren't. And maybe if they got transmissions back, a whole new generation of Arkadians could go to Earth. I was going to be floated. But Bell, and O... I didn't regret it. Not for a minute.

"Dad." I told him intently. "I pulled the lever, okay? You found us here, your friend called for the guard, and you tried to stop me, but I pulled the lever. I'm gonna get floated but there's no reason for both of us-"

"I'm not going to let my daughter take the fall for me!"

"It's not... I was going to do it anyway! Your apprentice, he saw me in the ship. My sentence is clear, there's no way out. But you... you didn't do anything. Please dad. Don't..."

"Clarke, don't ask me to watch them float you. Don't ask me to watch them float you for something I did. Say... say you were being held against your will. That Bellamy went crazy and kidnapped you or, or..."

"I am _not_ telling the Council that my _husband,_ tried to-"

"Then you understand. Why I won't let you take the fall for me."

"It's different." I hissed. He shook his head and pulled me into his arms.

"It's not, Clarke. I'm not going to lie."

"Daddy," I whispered, tears filling my eyes. And now I had condemned my father to death. All of this, and my father would die. He laughed a little and sighed.

"That damned Test did say you and Bellamy would be a rebellious couple. I think it might have outdone itself with that judgement."

"Wait, what? Dad you saw my test results?" He froze and looked at me in horror.

"I didn't mean to say... I was reviewing the reruns." He began quietly. "And I saw that there was a mistake in the code for the list. Bellamy Blake's name was marked as already sorted but he had never been paired. I fixed it an ran it. There were no suitable matches that came up but... I was curious. And kind of bored, and I thought, hey! Maybe I can get this factory kid something in a lawsuit, if a mistake in the test prevented him from being matched in his own grouping, then maybe he'd earn some damages and..." He fell silent. It was only for a moment but he had peaked my curiosity at a time when I was feeling hopeless and horribly anxious so I had little patience.

"Dad." I prompted, poking him hard.

"I ran him manually, to see all the results in all the testings since he was 18. There were a few. Not good ones, not any that overrode the matches that had been made without him, but..." He took a deep breath. "But then I saw the name Clarke Abigail Griffin. And I read the report. And you two weren't... perfect. Not by a long shot. It marked you medium to high on several warning categories, mid-difficulty having children, not impossible, mind you, or even that high just... but that wasn't the only thing. It said you two were both far too revolutionary of thinkers, and that together you would be a rebellious couple that wouldn't bode well for peace on the Ark. That automatically disqualifies the pairing, you know, if their relationship might be _inconvenient_ for the damned Ark? I pulled up your matching. Wells. It was a mediocre match at best. There was a subnote on the pairing that basically said that you would be an exemplary couple for the Ark but that there was a chance that one of your career and goals would suffer based on the other's plans. I know you two, Clarke, I knew you would give it all up to see the person you loved happy. I didn't want that for you, I... I saw that pairing and I knew you'd be miserable. That you'd end up half the woman you had the potential to be. And then I saw Bellamy's report. He was- _is_ the exact sort of person who would push you, who would make you better and, there's this marking, Becca programmed it in, no one knows exactly what it means, but every so often it appears on couple's pairings. It doesn't have any explanation, just... this mark. It's appeared a dozen or so times since we started running the Test. One of the older Testers calls it the soul mate mark. Said that every couple who had one, well, he thought they all ended up being soul mates. I didn't know if I believed it, but I knew that if he was right, and I kept you away from that..." My dad shook his head and all the puzzle pieces started falling in place.

"You switched my pairing." I said simply, in awe. He nodded.

"I shouldn't have. If I hadn't you never would have... Oh God Clarke, this is all my fault."

"I wouldn't trade a single day of being married to Bell for a lifetime married to someone else." I curled up in my dad's arms, on the floor, waiting for the guard to show up to arrest us. "Thank you, dad. I... thank you." We sat in silence, holding each other, for a few moments more until the sound of running boots echoed down the hallway. But they were too late. 4 whole minutes, too late. The others were long gone by now, and there was nothing they could do to stop them. Dad and I didn't resist arrest, but they still put a shock stick against his leg when he didn't walk fast enough for them. Within 10 minutes we had been processed and locked away in Skybox, waiting certain death. I glanced out of the tiny window at the edge of my prison cell and watched as Earth rotated below. Had they made it yet? I wondered, hundreds of thousands of times over the hours to come. Were they safe? Were they alive? Or had they died, with me about to join them? The part that hurt worst, actually, was knowing that I wouldn't know what happened to them before I got floated tomorrow. I had dragged my father into this somehow, and then... maybe we would all be dead. I wondered if I would see them when I died. I looked down at the ring Bell had given me. That was it. That was what I wanted to be my last sight when the floated me. My final thoughts would be of Bell.

It was kind of ironic, I realized, as I thought back on my dad's confession. This whole time I had pushed Bell away, angry, and upset, that we hadn't been meant to be, that he was supposed to have been sorted with someone else, when in reality... even if his name hadn't been withheld, he wouldn't have been paired, that our pairing was the strongest based on match, and that some old man thought we were soul mates. I closed my eyes, willing my brain to let me dream of Bellamy.

Not just the old man, I decided as I drifted off, clinging to the idea of his warm arms and his brown eyes staring intently into mine. I thought we were soul mates too.


	16. Chapter 16

**It's short. And if you hated the last chapter you're going to hate this one too. Sorry bout it. But it's gotta be done, folks. Thanks for all the reviews and be sure to keep letting me know your opinions! (Especially if those opinions include cursing me out for this fic because someone cursing me out over fanfiction is basically guaranteed to become my new best friend:)**

 **Enjoy! Or more likely... sorry.**

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

The next 24 hours went by exceedingly slowly. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. The only departure from my new norm of staring at Earth and wondering desperately about the family I had sent down without me, was when Nurse Keets walked in to draw my blood for the workup. It wouldn't stop shit, but if I was ill or something, they could spin the story that way to my friends and family when I was floated... She wasn't a bad person normally, but XYZ had taken over her system, and was clouding her judgement. It was supposed to make people feel better about their friend's executions. It didn't. It just made people pissed off that our healthcare system rationed meds and when someone ran out of the amount they were allowed, they went crazy and did stupid stuff. It made people blame the Ark. I blamed the Ark, so I wasn't about to stand up and tell them that. Keets had avoided eye contact the entire time. Of course she did. I had helped train her, and now she was helping me get ready to die. How fun.

I knew my dad wasn't coping well, I had heard him singing sometime last night. Or this morning, I guess, we'd gotten locked up sometime after 3 am soo... Dad only sang songs like that when he was dealing with shit.

I didn't know what my mom was doing. Was she sitting in the council seat, listening to all the whispers about her traitor husband and daughter, or was she trying to place the blame somewhere other than on us? She wouldn't be trying to save us, mind you, she knew the system, knew it would be a worthless attempt, but if she could paint us as martyrs, or people who were hoodwinked, her reputation might continue, and she could help more people as a respected doctor than a disgraced one. I looked back to the blue planet below.

Was he there yet? Were they alive? Did he hate me?

"I love you, Bellamy." I whispered towards the glass. I curled up on the floor near the window, and reached my hand out, touching it. Somehow, touching the glass... it made me feel like I was reaching out for him, touching him. Maybe he was looking up into the sky, right now, reaching out for me. That thought was foremost in my mind as I closed my eyes, and finally succumbed to sleep.

* * *

"Get up." My mother's voice was in my ear and she was pulling me towards the door. "Come on, we don't have much time."

"Mom?" I asked, rubbing the sleep from my eyes and glancing back at that blue sphere that meant Bellamy. "What are you- you aren't trying to break us out of here are you? There's no where to hide, they'll just float you too!" She shook her head sadly. "No. I'm not. But there's a chance... a chance which will give you more time. I ordered the move today, instantly, and I'm going to see it through before the bastards can change their mind."

"Mom?" I asked. "Dad and I broke the law, pretty blatantly. We aren't about to be just... set free, or whatever. And-"

"You're pregnant, Clarke." She said, with a sad smile. "Your blood test showed no illnesses, but... you're pregnant. There's protocol for that. You can't be floated until the baby is born and properly weaned. I... It's not forever, but it's more than nothing, Clarke." Was she telling the truth? Or was she lying as a last ditch effort to save me? I couldn't be... I wasn't...

"Baby we have to go."

"I'm..."

"You'll be confined with the delinquents, unless that proves hazardous for your health and then you'll be put in Skybox again, but I found some obscure article that says being isolated is bad for pregnant people, or something ridiculous, and so they agreed to try this. You wont have to be alone, and you'll be alive, and I'm going to work on Jaha every minute of every day to pardon you, I swear. But right now we have to go. They're..." She closed her eyes and bit her lip, taking a deep, shuddering breath before continuing. "They're about to float your dad, and I need you to be far away when that happens."

"What?! No! Mom!"

"Clarke there's nothing we can do. I've tried everything."

"But Uncle Jaha-"

"Had no choice. It was a blatant act of illegality and everyone knows. The other stations would be furious if he pardoned Jake when others were condemned for far less."

"Mom," I sobbed, shaking my head. "It's my fault. Dad was there on accident. He didn't know. He had no idea-"

"He made a choice, Clarke. And now we all have to live with the consequences." Tears were flowing freely now, and it was as if all the emotions I had been shoving down for the past day were coming up at once. Bellamy was gone. Octavia was gone. Aurora was gone. My dad was about to die, because of me. I was going to die... but not right now. Because I was pregnant. Bellamy was going to be a dad. Only not really because this child would never get to go to Earth. My mom would raise my baby and Bellamy would never get the children I had promised him.

"I have to go to dad, mom."

"No. I won't risk them seeing you there and demanding your floating too."

"I have to see dad, mom. I have to say I'm sorry." She gripped my hand tightly and nodded slowly.

"Guards." She called out. "Please escort us to the floating chambers. My daughter wishes to exercise her right to say goodbye before being placed with the other delinquents." They stomped in, and I noticed Miller, looking pointedly away from meas he placed handcuffs on my wrists. That was right. These were Bellamy's friends. He led me away, my mom trailing mere feet behind us.

"Did you hear?" I asked him, unable to feel the anger I wanted to at him for his part in all of this. He swallowed hard but didn't reply.

"I'm pregnant. I'm finally pregnant." I laughed. "Now." I turned to him. "Miller, promise me you'll watch out for her?" I begged. "Bellamy would've wanted-"

"Don't." He replied quietly, glancing around worriedly, to see who might be listening. "And don't bother. You never need to ask. Of course I will." He murmured.

"And if there's a chance, people going to Earth... Miller she has to go. Bellamy deserves-"

"That will never happen, Clarke. Not now. Jaha has to prove a point. He's not about to send us all down because a bunch of people broke the law. It would be rewarding vigilantism. He won't. It won't happen in my lifetime." I fell silent then. Maybe Miller was right. Maybe we had just condemned the rest of the Ark, with what we did. I thought back to Octavia's face when she saw the windows and long hallways for the first time, and imagined her stepping out into green grass, with fresh air blowing in her hair. I didn't regret it. She deserved freedom more than the rest of the Ark combined, there was no question to it.

"I'm sorry, Miller." I said. "I really am."

"No you're not. You'd do it again." He commented. It wasn't an accusation, just a benign comment.

"Yeah. I would. But I'm still sorry so many people are getting hurt because of it." I broke down again, thoughts of my dad filling my mind, and Miller led me silently, as I sobbed, to my father's execution, surreptitiously rubbing my wrist comfortingly with his fingers.

Things were happening too quickly again. My father had shucked his watch, the one that had been passed down through the Griffins since they'd boarded the US spacecraft and left planet Earth, and had placed it on my wrist. He had denied my begging for forgiveness and instead, told me all was well, that he was at peace with his choice. Someone had told him I was pregnant and he had placed his hands on my stomach and smiled almost maniacally, and I was sure he was thinking about the Test's report that said it would be harder for me to get pregnant.

"I love you Cece." He said with a smile. "It's okay, kiddo. Everything's going to be okay."

"Daddy!" I cried out, as two guards pulled him back towards the floating hatch. "Jaha, please!" I screamed at him as he stared at the hatch, not meeting any of our eyes. Miller grabbed me and held me, both holding me back from rushing forward and getting into even more trouble, and hugging me close, providing what little comfort he could. And then in an instant, my father's eyes bulged, his face going gaunt and pale, and he was sucked out into the black. I closed my eyes, and collapsed. I could feel Miller hoisting me up and I could hear my mom's sobs growing fainter and fainter as he carried me away.

"I'm sorry, Clarke." He murmured. "I'm so, so sorry."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"It's gonna be a boy." Monty repeated for the dozenth time. I shook my head, but didn't get into too much of a fight with him. Partly, because for all I knew, it _was_ a boy and this was not the hill I was going to go down fighting on, and partly, because it was sort of my fault he and Jasper were here in the first place.

My dad's idiot intern had sworn up and down there had been two girls on the escape pod besides me, and eventually the idiots on the Council had found out that there had been an illegal there. She had _obviously_ been linked to either the Blake, Reyes, or Collins family, and eventually everyone just kind of assumed she was a Blake. I mean they weren't wrong, but whatever. An investigation had gone on and they found out about Monty and Jasper providing illegal water that one time when she got sick and now they were locked up until their 18th. They were surprisingly okay with that though. They had been in lockup before, somehow had been allowed out to make pot - for one of the councilwomen's extreme anxiety and paranoia, they later found out, and one of the easiest ways for Jaha to keep her in line and keep her from trying to overthrow the government was to keep her high off her ass... interesting technique, I supposed - then they had, admittedly, done a LOT of other illegal stuff and really, it was surprising that they weren't already back in. They credited me for some of that extra time on the outside, after all I had covered for them, and as such, they were happy as clams to be back in with all their friends. I still felt badly. They were definitely going to get floated when they turned 18, dates which were now less than a year away. My fault. Again. Hey, at least I wouldn't have to be around to watch it.

"If Clarke thinks its a girl, then I say it's a girl." Jasper cut into my reverie loftily. "And Clarke is pretty damn sure it's a girl. Jackson comes in and does those checkups all the time." He said with a shrug. "He's probably told her, which means that she probably knows, which makes _this,"_ he gestured around himself vaguely, "a pretty damn safe bet."

"It's a boy. I bet 5 rations."

"You don't have 5 rations."

"Fine. I bet... I bet that you have to do whatever I say for a whole day when I win."

"Deal." They shook on it and Jasper looked at me proudly. "It's a girl, right?"

"I think so, but to be honest, Jasper, I asked Jackson not to tell me, so for all I know I'm wrong."

"WHAT THE HELL, CLARKE?!" He yelled, without any real threat in his voice. I laughed and my hand instantly went to the spot where Cleo was kicking along.

"See? She thinks it's funny too." I said, reaching for his hand and putting it on my stomach. He got that goofy grin on his face and his eyes widened.

"That's so cool! She's gonna be so strong!" I winced.

"She already is." I muttered, rubbing my ribs.

"Would you give the princess some room?" John Murphy snarked, walking by. "We don't want you to amuse her and have her pee herself again, would we?" We had started out our journey in prison together absolutely hating one another. Murphy resented me and all that I was. And he was kind of a douche. But then some guys tried to make their moves on me after my shower one day and he had walked right into the frey and kicked all four of their asses, before loudly threatening anyone who attempted to take advantage of my more delicate situation ever again. Turns out, his mom had gotten raped in front of him when he was a kid, and he was really protective of anyone in that situation. I had shared my rations with him every time the baby decided that all food made her want me to vomit, which happened at least once every three or four days, and we had formed an odd sort of friendship. There were nearly 100 of us, locked up in this prison, and a lot of us had become friends. Friends that were all sentenced to die, of course, some of us sooner than others. Every time Cleo did something amazing I was both thrilled at her progress, terrified, as it meant time was progressing and I was going to have to say goodbye to her and leave her without parents, and also miserable that Bell was missing all of this. Mix that with the crazy amount of hormones I was going through, and I was a mess. It was actually kind of a wonder that anyone in this mixed up group liked me at all.

But they did. I was sort of the _de facto_ group mom. And not just for the obvious reasons. Guards flooded the room and I stood up begrudgingly. Time for exercise. Woohoo. I didn't want to exercise right now! I wanted to lay down and rest my swollen ankles. This morning I had wanted to walk around and they made me lay back down because 'you're going to wake everyone up' and 'two AM isn't a good time for group exercise'. Ridiculous.

"Listen up delinquents!" A voice called out loudly. "You've got a special field trip today." The guard called out loudly. Emerson, I think his name was. Bellamy thought he was annoying and right now I was prone to agree with that statement. "You kids are going back to school." The reactions to this statement were mixed, a few seemed excited at the escape from the boring doldrums of life in lockup - not that it was all that different from life locked on a spaceship, but still. Others, however, had thought that missing school was the only good thing about being in prison, and now even that was being taken from them. I distinctly heard Murphy say something about 'extreme torture' and I smirked, taking his hand in mine.

"Come on, John. It'll be fun. I'll let you copy all my answers." He smirked and raised his eyebrows sarcastically.

"When did Little Miss Goody Two Shoes become such a... a..." He paused dramatically and looked off into the distance,"d _elinquent?"_ I laughed and shoved him playfully.

"Probably sometime _before_ the Ark tried to float me, but I could be wrong." I conceded. "Come on. If we don't hurry we'll never get seats in the front."

"Oh, my actual God." He deadpanned at my excitement and he shook his head. "What a freak." But I could hear his smile.

"Not you, Griffin." Emerson cut in, grabbing my arm. I could feel Murphy tense up, the way he always did when someone touched me without my express permission. What a freaking teddy bear. "It's Earth studdies with a focal point in medicine. I think you're fine." I frowned.

"But I'm bored. I _want_ to go."

"Medical Officer Jackson moved your appointment up. You'll have that while everyone's gone."

"But we want to hear about Baby Bellarke!" Jasper suddenly whined having heard what the guard was saying. "Guys! They're gonna make us miss the check up!"

"Baby... _Bellarke?_ " Emerson asked with a raised brow and a disdainful tone.

"Bellamy and Clarke! She hasn't named her-"

" _HIM."_ Monty interrupted.

"-yet and we want to know everything as it happens!"

"I'll tell you guys as soon as you're back if you tell me what bullshit they teach you. I can probably correct a few of their errors in understanding." I told him honestly. And sarcastically. I mean I hated the system now so I could be sarcastic. And they did teach a lot of distorted information. I should know. After all, I had been researching Earth Medicine and Earth Skills for months now, and found a large number of sources which directly contradicted what we'd been taught in school.

"Deal." Monty said, dragging a pouting Jasper along behind him. "Good luck, Clarke. See you later." Within a few minutes, lockup was empty, and weirdly echo-y. I strolled around, waiting for Jackson to show up, and when he did, he continued the trend of not looking me in the eye, and giving me the most vague directions, knowing I'd know what he needed and that he wouldn't have to say that much. Prognosis was good. I was 30 weeks along which meant that Bell and O had either been dead, or been on Earth for over half a year now. Jackson commented that my baby was growing on schedule, though admittedly, on the fast side. He seemed happy about that, as he took out some instruments for some completely excessive tests. I sighed. _Bell should be here for this._ I thought for the millionth time at least. Emerson strolled around the room and more than once I had to remind him to _please freaking stay on my North side for the purposes of this exam, I don't exactly want him seeing my down under._ He would blush and scurry back towards my head. And then he'd forget again and end up circling the room with a good view of my lady bits. Not. Okay.

"All done?" He asked Jackson as the doctor began packing up his equipment. Jackson nodded and handed him a few things to help him carry. Emerson looked perturbed at that, but didn't refuse. Suddenly, Jackson turned towards me and held out his hand to shake, staring directly into my eyes.

"Everything is looking good, Dr. Blake." He told me, shaking my hand. I blinked as I felt a piece of paper folded up between our palms.

"Thank you Dr. Jackson." I said. "I appreciate the quality care."

"Nothing less for Dr. Griffin's grandbaby." I nodded and watched as he and Emerson left the room before quickly unfolding the sheet of paper in my hand. A familiar handwriting caught my eye right away.

.

 _Clarke,_

 _I just found out - Raven Reyes got a message back to the Ark a month ago. Their transponder took some heat in the fall so she had to repair before they could contact the Ark, but they're okay. All of them are okay. Mount Weather isn't an option... because there are freaking people in it. Hostile, apparently, but there are also some not-hostile people on the Ground. She described them as tribal, but some of her other comments seem to indicate that they are also quite advanced. They have some of Becca's tech, I guess. They've made a treaty with them, and the Grounders are open to more of us coming down. Your mom and I are pressuring dad really hard. I don't know if it'll be in time to save you - I'd offer more comfort if I could, but you can always see through my lies. I promise you Clarke, I'm going to get your baby to Bellamy if I have to blackmail my dad to do it. Now to find something he's **that** ashamed of... hmm... _

_Glad to hear you and the baby are doing well... and even making friends in lockup. Of course you are. That's the most Clarke thing I've ever heard._

 _Miss you._

 _WJ_

 _._

Oh Wells. He always knew how to make me laugh. I reread the note a dozen times, always getting stuck on that third sentence. _All of them are okay._ Bell. O. Aurora. Raven. Hell, even Finn. They were all okay. I folded the note back up and shoved it in my boot before anyone could see me with it and returned to my bunk, where I curled up in a ball, and sobbed.

"Oh my gosh what's wrong?" I opened my eyes and Jasper was at my side, half the others crowded around and looking at me anxiously. "Did something happen? Is something wrong with the baby?" They all looked so... _worried_ for me I couldn't help but smile.

"No. No the baby is great. She's doing really well."

"So you confirmed it's a girl?" Jasper asked excitedly.

"No. I asked Jackson not to tell me anything."

"So why are you crying then?" Monty asked gruffly.

"Oh. Um... it's just hormones, you know."

"Don't be dumb." Murphy cut in. "It's because she doesn't think she's gonna get to raise the baby because she thinks they're gonna float her." He pushed through the others and sat by my side, taking my hand in his. "But that's only because she's dumb. Because we all know there's about a million people from all sides of the Ark campaigning for your pardon when you get out of here. You'll see, Princess. You, and Baby John are gonna be just fine."

"Baby John." I commented, grinning a little. "I didn't realize I'd decided on a name."

"Yup. Because you love me more than the rest of these idiots, you're going to name it John if it's a boy, Johanna if it's a girl. But I'm putting my faith in sparky over there, I think it'll be a boy. So John."

"I see," I said with a grin. "I'll keep that in mind." They all still looked a little nervous, despite John's veiled attempt to cheer everyone up.

"So. Tell me everything. How was class? What did you learn? Did anyone tell you why you were doing this exercise? Don't leave a thing out." The others found seats around my cot and they all started talking at once, telling me about the class, the shit they'd learned - admittedly, I interrupted to correct a few of the things they'd been taught - and then how Pike had tried to pit a few of them against each other to no avail, had even attacked Murphy before a dozen of the others had pulled him off. I looked to John worriedly before the kid shook his head, not even phased.

"It was to prove a point." He said calmly. "He wanted to tell us about how we were gonna need to stick together if we were ever going to Earth, because everything would be trying to kill us, and we had to know teamwork." I frowned. That was weird. Really weird. Thinking about it too hard, however, made me daydream about walking hand in hand with Bellamy, a tiny, brunette baby with olive skin and brown eyes looking up at us as we strolled through the forests and fields on Earth, so I put it all out of my mind. No need to torture myself with the impossible.

* * *

I didn't revisit the connections my mind had been drawing between Wells' letter and the sudden re-visitation to Earth Skills for the delinquents until two weeks later, when I was woken up before the clock struck 3, my mom shaking my shoulder, her eyes blazing with something akin to determination.

"Mom? What's going on? What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't wait for them to float you. I couldn't watch that again?"

"So... you what? Overthrew the government?"

"Don't be dramatic, Clarke." She admonished quickly. "We don't have much time. The others, they're all being tranquilized to avoid a scene, or waking up the rest of the Ark, but in your condition we didn't think it best. I glanced around, and sure enough, guards were going bed to bed, lifting my unconscious counterparts up and carrying them out.

"What happened? What did you do to them?"

"They're just sedated, Clarke, they'll wake up in a manner of minutes, strapped in and already on their way."

"On their way where? Mom!"

"To Earth, Clarke. You're all going to Earth."

* * *

 **A/N: Reviews make me write faster:)**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Excuse me? We're... what?"

"Wells and Bellamy did most of it, but I argued with Jaha every day until he agreed."

"Bell," I whispered. "He... Mom I don't understand."

"He's been in contact. It was just Raven at first, but I asked to speak to Bellamy. He didn't want to talk, not for a while, and I didn't want to tell him your news... I knew you'd want to. Eventually, Raven got him to come in and listen, and I told him that you were in lockup while the Ark decided what to do with you. He was... they saw Jake's floating from Earth." She swallowed, hard. "Octavia pointed out a shooting star, and Raven and Bellamy knew it was a floating, and with the timeline... they assumed it was you. As soon as he found out you were still alive, he's been radioing Jaha every day demanding he send you to Earth, telling him about their treaty, and about how they want to start a colony, so that eventually, we can bring the entire population of the Ark down to Earth. Jaha didn't want to but between Bellamy's messages, and Wells pressuring him _constantly_ about this, he eventually caved. He isn't ready to send down a full coalition of our best, but... I convinced him that this would be saving all of your lives, here in lockup and he agreed. That's why they took the Earth Skills lab, and why Jackson did a few extra tests your last checkup. He decided that it was safer for your baby to travel _en utero_ now, than as an infant. So we hurried along Jaha's decision and you guys are going to Earth."

"Clarke, we have to go now." I looked up at the guard with his outstretched hand and grinned.

"Miller? What do you mean, we?"

"They aren't just gonna send a bunch of children down on their own to build a colony without anyone to guide them but you and Bellamy, more delinquents, I might add? As an upstanding member of the Arkadian Guard, I have been selected to accompany you." He puffed his chest up proudly and then smirked. "That and I begged. A lot. Your mom gave me a bunch of baby stuff to pack which will help when you're like, giving birth and raising a baby and everything." He gestured with his head towards the large pack strapped to his back. "We're all set. But Clarke, we've got to go now. People are antsy about this. We can't give the council a reason to go back on it." I turned back to my mom and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you." I told her. "I'm sorry I got our family into this mess."

"Oh, Clark, you didn't do anything wrong." She said earnestly. "Give Bellamy a hug from me when you see him, okay?" She asked smiling, despite the tears rolling down her face.

"May we meet again." I told her, before taking Miller's hand and hurrying out of the open door. My heart was pounding as he helped me strap into a seat on the second level of the dropship. He was blathering on about one thing or another as we sat in silence, surrounded by unconscious teenagers. I wasn't paying much attention. I was going to Earth. I was... I was going to see Bellamy again. I reached down and held onto my stomach, rubbing it in a way I hoped was soothing to the baby who was currently spinning cartwheels in there.

"It's okay." I told her soothingly. "We're going to go see daddy, now. He's going to love you so much. Just you wait Cleo. Just you wait."

Murphy was one of the first to awaken and he instantly started thrashing around.

"John. It's Clarke." I called out from two rows behind him. "It's okay. Everything's okay."

"I was in bed!" He screamed out, rousing a few others on the edge of consciousness to wake up. "I went to bed and now... where are we? What's going on?"

"John!" I cried out. "It's fine. We're all going to be fine. We're going to Earth."

"What the hell drugs are you on, Clarke? They're never going to let-"

"Earth is livable. Bellamy, the others, they're all fine and they... we're going down to start a colony but we _all_ need to stay calm." I said, raising my voice so the others could hear. I heard the countdown begin and I smiled softly, rubbing my stomach absentmindedly.

"Clarke?" A young girl named Charlotte cried out. My eyes found hers, across the ship and down a bit from me. She was clearly upset, her eyes darting around, and her fingers gripping at her seatbelt so tightly they were quivering.

"Hey sweetie!" I said, waving. I was glad she was within eyesight of me, so she could see my face, and know that I was calm, and being honest. She was good at that, knowing when people were lying to her. "I'm right here, Charlotte. Everything is going to be fine."

"How do you know, Clarke?" Monty called out horsely. "How do you know what's going on?"

"They sedated everyone for transport but they thought that might hurt the baby so I didn't get the shot."

"Everyone, please remain calm." Miller called out as the dropship began to rumble and shake. A few people screamed but I also heard a few whoops of joy or excitement. We ejected off the Ark and the screens came to life, showing Jaha's face, telling us all something about going to Earth, and the colony we'd be joining. That we weren't alone on Earth and that it was time for Arkadia to take it's place blah, blah, blah. I stopped paying attention. This was getting highly uncomfortable. These straps were not designed with pregnant ladies in mind.

"Clarke." Monty yelled out. I finally found him, a few seats to my left, eyes wide and looking down at how my hands were now clutching my stomach. "Are you okay?"

"Just cramping." I managed to eek out, before gasping in pain. "Shit!" Miller tried to reach for my hand but they both flew to my stomach. "Oh my God!" I cried out in pain. My abdomen was stiff and I knew that meant something but right now, I couldn't quite place- I screamed then, clutching at my stomach. The pain was immense, and I was beginning to feel faint from the strain on my muscles. I grabbed Miller's shirt.

"Clarke!" Someone called out. "Monty, what's going on over there?" They sounded panicked. Hell I felt panicked. This wasn't seriously happening _now,_ was it?

"Clarke, are you..." Miller began, swallowing hard. "Are you in labor?"

"I don't know." I gasped out. "Maybe?"

"SHIT!" Monty screamed. "OKAY EVERYONE CODE BLUE. EVERYONE NEEDS TO STAY CALM!"

"Who had a heart attack?" Miller asked, looking around.

"NO YOU IDIOT CODE BLUE BECAUSE A BABY IS COMING!" Monty screeched.

"Code blue means heart failure, Monty." I hissed, as someone to my right told me to breath.

"CODE PINK!" Jasper yelled. "CODE PINK MEANS BABY MORON!"

"THAT IMPLIES THAT IT'S A GIRL, SO CODE BLUE FOR BOY!" Monty yelled back.

"Is Clarke in labor, or not?" Murphy asked, throwing his hands up. I could read his annoyance, even though my only view of him was the back of his head. He wasn't the sort to hide his feelings. If Murphy felt something, we all knew it.

"YES!" Monty and Jasper both called out, preceeding my wail of pain.

"OKAY, PEOPLE, HERE' THE PLAN." Miller's voice boomed out confidently, his tone of control creating some semblance of order in the group. Jaha was still speaking on the monitor, but all attention was on Miller. "WE ARE ABOUT 5 MINUTES OUT FROM THE PLANET'S SURFACE. THE MINUTE THESE STRAPS RELEASE US, EVERYONE ON THE BOTTOM LEVEL IS TO RUN, NOT WALK, NOT JOG, _SPRINT_ OUT THOSE DROPSHIP DOORS AND LOOK FOR RAVEN REYES, BELLAMY BLAKE, OR FINN COLLINS, OKAY? WHEN YOU FIND THEM, GET BELLAMY, AND GET HIM HERE IMMEDIATELY. SECOND LEVEL. YOU TOO, WILL SPRINT OUT THOSE DOORS. FIND SOME SOFT GREENS IF YOU CAN, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE CLARKE A BED TO DO THIS ON. LEVEL THREE, YOU WILL GO TO THE STORAGE SIDE OF THE DROPSHIP, AND YOU WILL FIND OUR RATIONS, AND YOU WILL BRING ME WATER. LEVEL FOUR..." He turned to me. "I'm out of jobs for people to do."

"Just, find Bell." I cried out.

"EVERYONE WHO I HAVE NOT MENTIONED, FIND BELLAMY BLAKE. IMMEDIATELY."

"Murphy and Monty." I hissed out. "And Jasper."

"What about them?" He asked.

"I need them." Miller added those orders and the three of them were happy to accept. His hand intertwined with mine and he squeezed it gently. I repaid him by putting his fingers in a death grip, causing the small grunt of pain out of his lips.

"Fucking hell!" I grunted out. I could talk through then too. That also meant... Jesus I didn't know! This pain was too intense to diagnose myself through. I tried to breath through the pain and I felt several hands rubbing my back.

"Here we go, Clarke. We'll be landing now. Almost there. Almost to Bellamy, okay?"

"Yeah I-shit!" The dropship stopped suddenly, the impact sending a jolt through my body. Miller reached away to type a code into the pad near his seat and the belts released, people flying towards the exit. The door opened sending a flash of light through the ship and the air was suddenly filled with people screaming my husband's name. Jasper and Miller both positioned themselves beneath my arms and half lead, half carried me towards the dropship exit points.

"I don't know if I can do the ladder."

"You want to have a baby up here?" Monty asked sardonically.

"Shut up, no, I just... what if I fall and hurt her?"

"He will be fine!"

"Shut up Monty! This is serious." Miller demanded.

"You two are up, brainiacs. How do we safely get Clarke down a rung ladder?" Murphy said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it gently.

"A pully system." They both said instantly.

"But we don't have anything to make that right now." Monty amended.

"Maybe if we-"

"Nah, that might rip and then Clarke still falls so we're back where we started." They continued on in this trend, answering barely spoken ideas and questions until another bout of pain ran through me.

"Okay." I interrupted tersely. "Here's what we're going to do. Miller and Murphy are going to go down below me, and I am going to carefully descend. If I start to fall, they will catch me. That's what we're going to do."

"I don't-"

"I'M HAVING A BABY. SHUT UP AND DO WHAT I SAY!" Miller hurried down to the next level, Murphy directly on his heels. I carefully made my way down, gripping on each rung so tightly my knuckles were white. 20 painstaking minutes later we were on first level. And it was then that I noticed that the cramping and waves of pain had stopped. I examined my abdomen and noticed a few things. The stiffness in my stomach had subsided, and I could feel the baby kicking gently. I sat down and grabbed Miller's arm.

"Braxton Hicks."

"What?"

"They were Braxton Hicks contractions. Not real. It's like... my bodies way of preparing for real labor, but... not yet. This baby is staying safe inside of me for now."

"Are you serious?" He asked, sounding more relieved than even I did. "Oh thank God."

"Yeah. Okay. Let's go. Help me up, I wanna see Earth." He grabbed my hand and I stood shakily, still holding onto his arm for better balance and-

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Jasper cried out. "No baby?"

"There's still a baby, Jasper it's just gonna wait a few more weeks to come out." I teased him.

"But..."

"This is good news, Jas." Monty cut in. The baby isn't ready yet. Chances of survival and of doing really well once it's born increase with every day it stays in Clarke. So we want him in there."

"Her." Jasper interjected immediately before shrugging and apparently accepting the idea.

"Come on, weirdos. Let's go see what all the fuss is about." I gestured to the door with a smile, and taking Murphy's offered arm, I walked out into the sunlight.


	19. Chapter 19

The air tasted different. I had never thought of air as having a taste or a smell before, probably because it had always been something that was just... there, before. The same air, filled with oxygen and recycled over and over again, hundreds of thousands of times had been in my surroundings since I was born. I just didn't notice. Well now I noticed. It was fresh, crisp, and tasted both rich and light all at once.

"Oh my God." I murmured, taking in all the _color_ surrounding us. Lush greens, accented by reds, oranges, pinks, blues, and a half dozen more shades of green, plants of every color I could name were growing everywhere. Except grey. There wasn't a whole lot of grey, silver, or black, the primary colors found on the Ark. I smiled. It was like in the Wizard of Oz, when Dorothy steps out into Oz and the movie isn't in black and white anymore, it's in color. Only better. So, so much better. We were Dorothy, really seeing color for the first time. I let out a laugh and looked at my friends in wonder.

"We did it." I breathed. "We're... we're on Earth."

"It smells weird." Murphy grunted, but I could see a smile in his eyes, even if he refused to show one on his face.

"It smells awesome, dude." Jasper corrected him. Murphy shrugged and I pinched his arm.

"Wasn't your 18th coming up?"

"A couple of weeks, why? You wanna throw me a party, oh mummy dearest?"

"I'm just saying, I think the cold, vacuum of space might smell even weirder than a bunch of plants on Earth." After the brief expression of surprise at my comment passed, Murphy smirked.

"Savage Clarke. I like it."

"Come on, you sent a bunch of children to run wild on a new planet. We should really go round them up." I had no sooner spoken when a staccato pounding started to echo in my ears.

"What is that?" Monty asked. Miller and Murphy both moved to step in front of me as the sound came closer and closer. Within a few moments, a large creature was leaping through some foliage into the clearing the Dropship had landed in. A horse. It was a freaking horse. I looked up to the person riding it. Her hair, braided in an intricate pattern, only briefly distracted from the black makeup which streamed across her eyes like a mask. But I knew those eyes. I blinked, not believing it. Months of living on Earth had done her well. She had filled out a _lot_ since I had seen her last, and the predominantly leather outfit she was bedecked in only served to further her from the little girl I had once known.

"Octavia?" I asked breathlessly, a smile tearing across my lips.

"I knew it! I knew you'd be here!" She swung off her horse with the grace of an experienced rider and ran forward, pushing past Miller and Murphy to wrap me in a hug. "I watched your freaking trajectory and Indra and I guessed over here. So Raven and all her math can suck it!" She giggled and gripped me even harder. "Damn I missed you!" She frowned for a minute and gave me a one over.

"You've been on the Ark. How in the hell did you get fat?" I opened my mouth, unsure of what to say... I mean it was kind of obvious, but this was a girl raised under the floorboards, I wasn't sure how much of the reproductive system Bell or Aurora had covered with her.

"O, I don't think you know, Murphy, Monty, or Jasper." I nodded at each in turn. "And this is Miller, you'd have heard Bell talking about him, guard duty and such." Octavia nodded, and I noticed her eyes lingered on Miller for a moment. "Gay." I whispered, nodding to him, making Miller flush at the implication of O's gaze.

"Dating someone." She replied, pointing at herself proudly.

"What?!" I gasped. "How in the hell-"

"His name's Lincoln. He's a mammoth of a person and Bell absolutely _hates_ him. I'm hoping your presence will chill him out. Come on. I'm sure he's driving as fast as he can this way."

"Driving?"

"There are cars."

"What?"

"Yeah. All that shit ya'll learned about Earth being dead and abandoned... not quite."

"Where are you guys finding gas for cars?"

"Solar and radiation powered. Raven hooked us up." I smiled at this girl, no longer the giggling meek thing I had met nearly a year ago. I had been right. Earth suited her. She was growing and flourishing in a way that I could never have imagined. I pulled her in for another hug. "God I missed you, O."

"Who exactly..." Miller began.

"Bell's little sister." I told him.

"His... what?!"

"Did they not tell everyone on the Ark?" I asked, genuinely confused.

"The reason we all tried to run was half because of Octavia."

"I... yeah but we all... it was sort of assumed she was like... a child." O snorted.

"Hardly. Aaallll woman." She drawled, twirling suggestively.

"Okay." I cut her off, grabbing her arm. "Still technically a child."

"Oh whatever."

"Not 'oh whatever.' Oh your brother's gonna kill me if he thinks I just let you get away with that blatant flirting also hang on, where did you learn to flirt? You grew up under the floorboards."

"Blakes are naturally charming." She told me with a smile. "Speaking of, I hear the Rover. Come on, pinch your cheeks or whatever. Bellamy will be here in a second." I could feel my heart skipping a beat. I had been praying, dreaming, imagining this moment for months and now that it was here, it didn't feel real. I didn't feel ready to see him... but then again, at the same time, I couldn't just stand here and wait."

Miller squeezed my arm happily and Jasper and Monty started bickering about something.

"Don't shrink back now, Princess." Murphy muttered to me. "You've been annoying all of us with Bellamy talk for months now, you're not actually nervous to see who you describe as basically the most amazing human to ever exist, now are you?" I rolled my eyes at him.

"I have not been that bad."

"Yes you have." Monty and Jasper chorused.

"Oh shut up." A black vehicle came into sight down a wider path that led away from the clearing. Octavia grabbed my hand excitedly.

"He's gonna piss himself." She said with a grin. "God I wish I had a camera." Jasper was eyeing up Octavia with fascination.

"I like you." He declared suddenly to her. "I think we should be friends." Octavia took in the scrawny boy with googles on his head with a moment of doubt but then shrugged.

"Okay." And then I couldn't breath. Because then that car was parking in the clearing. And my beautiful, wonderful Bellamy was swinging out of the driver's side and jumping to the ground, his eyes boring into mine with that intensity I'd almost forgotten he possessed. Nothing in the world could hold me back. I was running, towards him.

"Bell!" I cried out, feeling the warm tears dripping down my cheeks. He was running to and in an instant I was in his arms. His warm, soft embrace, wrapping around me and it was with sudden clarity that I understood how desperately I'd truly been missing him. I had been drowning and he was my air. I had been floating around space and he was my anchor.

"Clarke." I nearly swooned at the sound of him saying my name, his voice pressed up to my ear. He pulled back just enough for us to look at each other, to be able to take in every plane and part of one another's faces. He took my face in his hands and grinned, shaking his head. "I'm dreaming."

"Then we had better not wake up." I swore. I grabbed the fabric of his tee shirt and pulled him in to me, capturing his lips with mine. I knew there were people watching. I was even aware that more and more of my darling delinquents were streaming back into the clearing, and that we were in full view of all, but I didn't care. My husband. Bell. Back in my arms.

His hands shifted down my back and grabbed at my hips. My much more rounded hips. He pulled back slightly, his eyes searching.

"They said... taking a deep breath as if steeling himself for a reality he wasn't prepared for, he looked down and I watched as his eyes grew and his face released all tension, softening. One of his hands moved to touch my balloon of a stomach as if he didn't believe it.

"Surprise." I said weekly.

"Clarke." He breathed out. "Baby you're..."

"We're having a baby, Bell." The hand that wasn't on my stomach covered his mouth and he looked like he was going to cry.

"Like I said, we'd better not wake up from this dream, huh?" Bellamy sank to his knees and pressed his face into my abdomen.

"Hi." He said gently. "I know you don't know me yet. But I am going to be the best damn dad anyone has ever had."

"Opp." I said suddenly, grabbing his hand. "Over here." I pressed his hand against the side of my belly and watched the joy and wonder flashing across his face as our baby kicked his hand.

"She knows you. I've been talking about you so damned much there's no way she wouldn't recognize you."

"She?" He breathed out, his eyes wide.

"HE!" Monty yelled out behind us. I rolled my eyes.

"I asked not to know. I didn't want to find out without you. Felt weird. But I just kinda assumed."

"Cleo." He breathed.

"That's what I've been calling her in my head."

"Don't be dumb, Clarke. His name is John." Murphy bumped my shoulder before holding a hand out to Bellamy.

"Hi. John Murphy. We've met, but I thought I should reintroduce myself as your baby's godfather."

"Umm..."

"Hold UP!" Monty and Jasper started bickering in the background but I ignored them.

"You gonna take me home, Blake?" I asked him. He grinned and nodded but then his face dropped a bit and he looked around at everyone.

"We're prepped for the entourage, I mean we've got housing for everyone and everything but... do we have to take them with us now... or..."

"Unfortunately yes. I know you weren't even expecting _this_ one," I said with a laugh, gesturing down to my stomach, "but you've actually adopted about 98 other kids too. Don't worry. Miller can co-parent with us." Miller stepped around me then and with a grin, wrapped Bellamy up in a hug.

"Hey man. Congrats. You're gonna be a great dad."

"Miller! What are you doing here?"

"What, like I was just supposed to send Clarke down with Emerson or someone dumb? Hell no. I bribed Jaha."

"You bribed the chancellor?" Miller smirked.

"No man, Jaha the younger. There was a seat left and we were gonna flip for it, but then his girlfriend was hella pissed about leaving anyway so I sweetened the deal a little and got the seat."

"What about-"

"He got it. Besides, he'll be on the next dropship down. It's only about 6 months, so... I mean that's not _that_ long, right?"

"It's longer." Bell and I both replied.

"Seriously, dude." I continued looking at him like he was crazy. "Why would you volunteer for that? That's horrible!" He glanced at Bell for a moment before continuing.

"I heard about the _situation_ , earlier this year. And on Earth, with no guards..." He shrugged. The situation?

"Are you talking about Wyatt and Jeffries?" I asked. "Jeffries got floated, and Wyatt isn't gonna do shit after what Murphy did to him."

"And what about their little friends, who followed them around and emulated them, and look at you like you're meat?"

"Are you saying I can't take care of myself?" I asked indignantly.

"What are you saying exactly, Miller? What happened?" Bell cut in, his voice gruff.

"Literally nothing. Murphy made sure of it." I told him. "Everything's fine."

"Yeah, but it sounds a lot like everything almost wasn't fine."

"But it is."

"Clarke," He began warningly. I sighed, and rolled my eyes at his intensity.

"It isn't a big deal, Bell. It's been dealt with. And you needn't over react."

"I can assure you I will react the exact appropriate amount."

"We'll see about that." Miller commented quietly, almost to himself.

"I was in lock up, despite being over 18, and people thought I was getting special treatment because I was my parent's daughter. Then when they all found out I was pregnant and that I was going to be floated the moment this baby was out of me... people were..." I looked to Miller and Murphy and shook my head. "This is dumb! I don't even know how to tell it because it isn't even a story! You both just got super protective of me and my unborn daughter-"

"SON!"

"-and that's literally it!"

"Not a story?" Murphy nodded as if he were considering my words. "Maybe you're just telling it wrong. Because I'm gonna go with... a bunch of freaks realized no one was really protecting you, and that you were an easy target and thought they were gonna have some fun with you and your..." He glanced at Bellamy awkwardly. "Lady bits."

" _What_?"

"And then Murphy beat the shit out of them with some help from some of his other friends and I was fine. They barely touched me." Bellamy had pulled me into his arms and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at his _over_ protectiveness.

"Bell. I'm fine. You're fine. Our baby... _fine_. So instead of getting really, really upset, do you think that maybe, _maybe,_ you could go ahead, and _take me home,_ Bell?" He acquiesced, but I knew by his glances of significance at Miller and Murphy, that we'd be revisiting this conversation another time, but for now, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and walked me to the passenger side of the car, opened the door for me, and handed me up into the seat. He started the car and reached over to take my hand in his, and with a smile, we set off into the forest. Home.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in posting this but... it doesn't feel right. This chapter feels, both anticlimactic and like I shoved a whole bunch of stuff into one section just because and I hate that. I am completely up for re-writing and posting this chapter if you all give me some feedback and better ideas for how this should go down. PLEASE. Thanks all - xoxo - E**


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